January 28th, 2009 / 1:21 am
Author Spotlight
BRANDON SCOTT GORRELL WROTE A NOVELLA AND I EMAILED HIM ASKING FOR IT AND HE EMAILED IT TO ME PRETTY QUICKLY AND THEN I READ IT AND HERE’S AN INTERVIEW

Brandon Scott Gorell has a blog. He wrote a book of poems. He also wrote a novella, called MY HAIR WILL DEFEAT YOU. I explained the rest with the title of this post. Here is an interview I conducted with Brandon Scott Gorrell, who, as will be disclosed shortly, is a piece of shit.
HTMLGIANT: [spoiler alert] In your novella, there is a scene in which the main character is overcome by the sound of two people eating apples in the same room with him. This has happened to me but with my own chewing. What is the best way to immediately remove yourself from a room? If you walk, someone could ask where you are going, but if you run you could fall. Brandon Scott Gorrell, your thoughts.
BSG: Sometimes I just stand in the corner, facing the corner. See my facebook group for more information.
HTMLGIANT: [follow up] If you are the one chewing the apple, should you swallow it no matter how painful the clump will be, or should you covertly spit it beneath your collar?
BSG: I would need to stand in the corner.
HTMLGIANT: [spoiler] In your novella the main character contemplates whether he is a piece of shit a number of times. At one point he wants to go up to a microphone and ask everyone in a bar if s/he thinks he is a piece of shit. What are a few definite signs that you are a piece of shit and are there degrees?
BSG: If your behavior is dictated entirely by the concept ‘maximizing immediate pleasure and minimizing immediate pain’, rather than concepts such as ‘maximizing immediate pleasure and minimizing immediate pain’, ‘empathy,’ ‘goals’, and some other shit, then you are probably a piece of shit. there are degrees.
HTMLGIANT: Fascinating. Simply fascinating. [spoiler alert] In your novella, there is a lot of conflict between the main character and his roommate. I have conflict with my roommate but I don’t want to say anything because then he might keep his cat from me and then it’s “bye bye only thing that ever talks to me.” How tall are you?
BSG: Five feet and seven inches, I think.
HTMLGIANT: While typing these questions the toast I put in the oven burned and my apartment filled with smoke and I detached the smoke alarm to keep the landlord from checking on me. So I have to ask, the ladies have to know, how big of a piece of shit are you?
BSG: I am like a supernova explosion of shit at point blank range repeatedly for billions of years.
HTMLGIANT: Hell yeah! Lastly, one of the characters in your book is the lead singer from The Presidents of the United Stated of America. I figured he was lying in bed somewhere quietly singing “Peaches” to himself, but you hired him. What was it like working with him?
BSG: He kept calling me ‘faggot’. He got nervous when i stood in the corner.
Thank you Brandon Scott Gorrell and remember everyone, keep reading and keep dreaming and keep believing!
Tags: Brandon Scott Gorrell, my hair will defeat you, novella





BSG is the real deal. believe that.
he is a better tao lin than tao lin.
i him.
reply
i haven’t read brandon’s novella but i bet it makes readers feel stupid and pointless in the way that they sort of want to feel stupid and pointless or think they deserve it and in the way that the reader and brandon are both smiling heck of hard at each other and feeling excited. sam pink you’re really excellent.
reply
I figured he was lying in bed somewhere quietly singing “Peaches” to himself”
I’m bummed. This is the funniest thing I’ll read all day and it’s not even 9 a.m.
reply
Is the new trend “living as your art” but only in a kind of “triple-self-conscious, everything is meaningless, everything I say has meaning” way that doesn’t really make any sense but is kind of a way of veiling “incredible insecurities and enormous uncertainty about the world”, also “the feeling that one might never be really loved”? Is that the new trend? I don’t know if I like it.
I would like to read about a man who wrote his novella in honest and sincere terms, but parts of this were kind of funny.
reply
andre, i will send it to you if you are interested
reply
jereme, “i know a whole buncha mafackas thats prepared to swoop, leave a body bloody red to boot.”
chelsea, while reading the novella i thought, “perhaps i am the one who is the greatest piece of shit.” then i ate a pizza roll.
andre, yes sir.
brandon, brandon.
reply
then you can do an interview on honest and sincere terms
reply
i mean ‘in’
reply
January 28th, 2009 / 4:28 pmandré—
I am interested in doing that, sure.
This is my e-mail: andre.babyn@gmail.com
reply
togetherness
reply
five feet seven inches? huh.
reply
brandon is much shorter than i imagined him to be.
reply
i am five inches talller than him. haha
reply
i am the same height as brandon.
sam, you are a 6 foot pussy willow.
reply