The entries for the Kama Sutra contest were so great, I need help picking a winner. Feel free to vote in the comments by listing the number of your favorite. You have until Monday! Whichever entry gets the most votes, wins!

1. The Ron Paul Real Talk Presidential Nation Express: Dream of something that will never cum.

2.  The Across the Universe: The ability to give one another an orgasm from a distance.

3. The iForn: Standing, both partners hold mobile device in right hand and lock arms so that they face opposite directions and each looks at his or her respective mobile device. With left hand, reach beneath and between partner’s buttocks. Dial. Accept.

4. The 66/99: When two egotistical people fight over who goes down on whom first.

5. the pretentious:  when you stand naked in front of, and stare into, a full length mirror and jerk off to your own reflection.

6. the heterosexual:  when one or more partners come and then immediately fall asleep before helping you to achieve orgasm7. the anti-capitalist:  enjoying sex without caring whether you or any of your partners come

8. the vicious viscous circle:  positioning oneself in a somewhat awkward position that places your genitals directly over your mouth as you prop yourself up on you shoulders or neck.  at the point of orgasm aim for your mouth & immediately swallow the come.  repeat ad nauseum.

9. The Liz Lemon: order a pizza and eat it missionary style.

10. The Panini – sex in a functioning tanning bed. A hot, melty, crispy-on-the-outside mess.

11. The MFA in Creative Writing: In the midst of having sex, stop. (Optional: tell your partner that this part “just isn’t working for me.”) Fall asleep clinging to your partner and weeping silently. Wake up abandoned, work on your manuscript.

12. unprotected hikikomori tentacle cybersex13. amputee cheerleader threesome love triangle

14. micropenis full penetration nostril banging

15. The shelver: In a bookshop, on top of a big pile of books, while both partners are reading AND blogging about it. And both looking charmingly deshabille.

16. the illumination: when JSF masturbates under his desk while his manuscript in progress cums light all over his face

17. The Pearl Harbor – When you make a movie of yourself having sex and the movie comes out really really badly.

18. Dr. Strangelove - When you make a movie of yourself having sex and the movie comes out really really funny and really really good.

19.  The Facebooker: The couple poke each other until maximum pleasure.

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