My puberty ostrich
1. @Gawker, 4chan founder tries to explain ‘b-tard’ to federal prosecutors.
2. @Thought Catalog, Brandon Scott Gorrell lists all the drugs he’s taken in chronological order, in 4 parts.
3. Tony O’Neill is reading at the In The Flesh reading series August 19 in NYC, details here. Also, here is in conversation with Adam Carolla.
4. I enjoy creative interpretation of indistinguishable language.
5. Anybody read Tom McCarthy’s C. yet? I am curious to hear about it.
*BSG Warning*
Brandon Scott Gorrell offers a Wikipedia-style article on our recent flare-up.
Due to the present risk of bringing Shitstorm Alberto back from the brink of death, I’m turning off the comment section.
A Review of Reviews of Shoplifting From American Apparel
[Ryan Call and I asked Brandon Scott Gorrell to take a look at some of the negative reviews of Tao Lin's Shoplifting from American Apparel, and maybe say something. This is the result of that. - Gene Morgan]
I’m going to try and ignore the thought I keep having that I shouldn’t be shit-talking people’s opinions, that it’s obvious they’re opinions, and that these reviewers aren’t stating their opinions as facts.
Here are some opinions of mine about quotes from four negative reviews of Tao Lin’s Shoplifting From American Apparel. I don’t feel I took the quotes out of context.
Kati Nolfi, Bookslut: “There is so little aboutness in Lin’s work.” What?
Lisa Foad, Globe and Mail: “After all, Lin – feted darling of the hipster coterie – is known for his pomp-and-pageantry-fuelled exploits. Witness: Lin glutting NYC with a Britney Spears sticker campaign to promote the release of his 2008 poetry collection, cognitive-behavioral therapy; Lin routinely repeating the same line – “The next night we ate whale” – at readings (seven monotonous minutes mark his record to date); Lin auctioning drafts of his writing on eBay, and most recently, his MySpace account (it fetched a whopping $8,100); Lin selling shares of the anticipated royalties of his upcoming 2010 Melville House novel, Richard Yates (to the tune of $12,000); Lin founding Muumuu House, a publisher that boasts an appreciation not just for poetry and fiction but Tweets and Gmail chats; Lin enlisting fans as “interns” to rally on his behalf by blogging about him, reviewing his work on Amazon and padding his Wikipedia profile.” I understand Tao’s gimmickry is disarming for people, but it really doesn’t take that many steps in logic to figure out that everyone does what he does, they just present it in a way that’s more familiar.
Publishing houses hire publicists to expand their audience. Authors hire agents to make them money. Independent lit publishers hire fans as interns (would they really hire someone who didn’t like the press as an intern? That wouldn’t happen) and have them write Wikipedia pages for their authors. The difference is that Tao is transparent and vocal about it.
March 17th, 2010 / 8:47 am
Brandon Scott Gorrell is moving somewhere. He didn’t tell me where. Wherever he is moving, he will not be taking his books. You can buy his books. Cheap. Buy cheap books.
BOOK RELEASE PARTY FOR “DURING MY NERVOUS BREAKDOWN I WANT TO HAVE A BIOGRAPHER PRESENT”

TODAY! IF YOU LIVE IN SEATTLE COME SEE SEVERE DETACHMENT AND LOW SELF ESTEEM BROUGHT TO LIFE BY BRANDON SCOTT GORRELL, TOTAL BITCH! HERE IS THE FACEBOOK LINK! FREE FOOD (I HEARD IT’S PIZZA ROLLS AND CAPRI SUNS) AND DRINK (PROBABLY PBR, EVEN THOUGH MILWAUKEE’S BEST IS BETTER).
July 26th, 2009 / 2:47 pm
Bay Area Reading Tour

Contributors Mike Young, Chelsea Martin, and myself, along with ‘associate’ Brandon Scott Gorrell will be reading at some places in the Bay Area. This is what is known in the internet world as “irl” (in real life). If you’re around, please come and say hello, but be nice, we are not ready for irl altercations. Mike is coming from Massachusetts [follow his tour]; Brandon is coming down from Seattle [follow his tour]; Chelsea and I live in the area.
Win Brandon Scott Gorrell’s Poetry Book
Concurrently with Justin’s exacting coverage of Ellen Kennedy’s ‘sometimes my heart pushes my ribs’, I recently received an extra copy of Brandon Scott Gorrell’s soon forthcoming Muumuu House release, ‘during my nervous breakdown i want to have a biographer present’ by responding to a call on the Muumuu House twitter that anyone who could find a typo on Brandon’s cover would get a free copy.
I had already bought Brandon’s book, being excited about MH as an entity, and liking Brandon’s words, and so am giving away that extra copy here. Tao has agreed to match that copy also with a copy of Ellen’s book, so the winner of this contest will receive both release from MH in one existentially stare-laden weird animal compendium.

this guy looks remotely like brandon but less with it
The contest is simple: Find as many typos in Brandon’s blog as you can. Copy and paste them here into a comment, post.
Whoever finds the most typos wins both books.
If you have yet to discover some of Brandon’s words, please observe nervous assface, which contains this excellent telephone conversation scene:
Lydia Davis answers her cell phone. “Bye,” Richard Yates says. “What do you mean?” Lydia Davis says. “What do you mean?” Richard Yates says. Lydia Davis feels confused. “What do you mean?” Lydia Davis says. “I’m going to bed,” Richard Yates says. “I love you,” Lydia Davis whispers. “Thanks,” Richard Yates says. “You’re welcome,” Lydia Davis says. “Are you even interested in what I’m doing at all?” Richard Yates says. “I’m interested,” Lydia Davis says. She pulls her blankets above her mouth. “What are you doing?” she whispers. “I don’t want to be on this earth any more,” Richard Yates says. “I wish there were many earths, and that I had a choice between them,” Lydia Davis says. “I think I would be happier if there were many earths,” she says. There is silence for fifteen seconds. “Let’s destroy the earth,” Lydia Davis says. “Everything sucks,” Richard Yates says. “Are you going to kill yourself?” Lydia Davis says. “You are such a piece of shit,” Richard Yates says. Lydia Davis moves into the closet, crouches, and tries to cover herself with the dirty clothes in there.
Typos. Bring me BSG moody typos. Moody bitchez, let’s get ‘em. Contest will end Saturday morning.
Brandon Scott Gorrell is a piece of shit
And he has a new book up at BEAR PARADE.
And it is called NERVOUS ASSFACE.
April 9th, 2009 / 6:54 pm
An Open Response re: HTMLGIANT

The following are answers to questions posited by Brandon Scott Gorrell about HTMLGIANT. I don’t think he was being sarcastic, and I will honor these questions with sincere answers. I am not trying to put him on the spot. I think BSG is one of our best writers around, and I respect him. These answers are respectful. [*Disclaimer: this is not a solicited interview. BSG asked these questions on his blog, and I merely answered them. He and I had no direct discourse.]
what happened to htmlgiant
I think you mean, maybe, like it’s ‘different,’ or worse, ‘not as good.’
was it something inside me or inside htmlgiant
I feel like you’ve been more alienated lately, like you fake-deleted your blog, and came back from NY depressed, and you are questioning your existence more and more. So 60% of it is you, but 40% of it is HTMLGIANT.
i used to read htmlgiant feeling excited
I think when it first started, there was a rush of excitement that has since diminished. Posts used to get 200+ comments, now it’s 20+ on a good day. I think, if a journal or website is to last, it needs a) devoted contributors and b) a consistent ethos. I think we have both.
now i feel a little bored and alienated
That’s probably 88% you, sorry. I will admit we are 12% boring and alienating.
BRANDON SCOTT GORRELL WROTE A NOVELLA AND I EMAILED HIM ASKING FOR IT AND HE EMAILED IT TO ME PRETTY QUICKLY AND THEN I READ IT AND HERE’S AN INTERVIEW

Brandon Scott Gorell has a blog. He wrote a book of poems. He also wrote a novella, called MY HAIR WILL DEFEAT YOU. I explained the rest with the title of this post. Here is an interview I conducted with Brandon Scott Gorrell, who, as will be disclosed shortly, is a piece of shit.
double-fisting at opium magazine holiday party; Home Sweet Home, LES, NYC

Brandon Scott Gorrell and Tao Lin both totes ignoring this babe cuz it's just like who even gives a shit? You know? Not pictured: Noah Cicero, Todd Zuniga, Sabra Embury, etc.
Bob Ross, Avant-Garde Artist

Someone offered Margaret Atwood a machine that would allow her to sign books from her home. It was like a little robot hand with a pen. And it would do what she was doing. She would sign her name, and the robot hand would follow her hand’s motion and sign a book for a fan who came to a robot hand book signing. Atwood would stay home, and the hand would travel around the country. Someone would approach the hand—which would be sitting on a table—and put a book down under the pen. And Margaret Atwood would—somewhere in Cananda, sitting at her coffee table—sign a piece of paper and the robot hand would sign the book.
GREAT!

Brandon Scott Gorrell (seen here reading Godzilla at Richard Hugo House) sent me a message about GREAT, a magazine made by him and Chelsea Martin (seen here putting condoms on her legs).
About GREAT, Brandon says:
we have deliberated excessively
we have designed every page differently
there are 4 color pages this time
great features page design by brandon scott gorrell and chelsea martin, art/prose/poetry by humans and robots, also blake butler’s gmail status
preorder this magazine by paypaling $4 to bye.earth[at]gmail.com and this magazine will be in an envelope, postmarked some time during the week after thanksgiving, in the envelope will also be something personalized by me or a dog
your incentive to preorder is that they will run out quickly, i have only 68 made at this point, preordering will allow you to avoid the severe depression assoicated with knowing that you may never own a copy of this beautiful leg of naked human
chelsea scott gorrell and brandon chelsea martin have worked very hard on ‘great’, its featured art/prose/poetry is ‘advanced’ and has ‘advanced my worldview’ and will ‘advance’ yours, i don’t know what i’m talking about, i feel like a black person
paypal bye.earth[at]gmail.com $4, the magazine has the potential to save humanity, please include your address in preordering, i have never received money on paypal, i assume you can paypal email addresses, i have signed up for a paypal account with my bye.earth email address, please include your address
work by:sam pink kenneth lavalleejarrett mitchell chris killenkevin bewersdorf cody blanchardasher penn jillian clarkjeppe lange whitney austinblake butler aaron petrovitchphilip metres ben a. shabermananthony zinonos nicholas venagliagene morgan zachary schomburgemily kendal frey danny espinozadea lellis danny minnickkrammar abrahams lettie jane rennekampdaniel spinks david fullartonmichael bilsborough tom mueske
November 24th, 2008 / 2:38 pm
Muumuu House
Tao Lin had been talking about making a press for a long time, he had a post once discussing the name, what should he name it, one of the names then was Muumuu House, and now MUUMUU HOUSE has sneakily snuck a website onto the web.
The site, sneakily snuck onto the web, is pretty chock full of stuff already, featuring new fiction, poetry, and Tao’s favorite-artform Gchats, featuring many of the likely suspects from a Tao-run press.
Most awesomely, the press has also announced their first two titles to be published in perfect bound print next year, Ellen Kennedy’s SOMETIMES MY HEART PUSHES MY RIBS in March 09 and Brandon Scott Gorrell’s DURING MY NERVOUS BREAKDOWN I WANT TO HAVE A BIOGRAPHER PRESENT in June 09.
This was all discovered in a post on Brandon’s blog, in which Brandon announced his retraction of the book from its previous acceptance at Greying Ghost press, which may or may not result in a promotional snafu for the book, if people decide to fuss about the switch or not.
Here is the very Tao-like ‘submission policy’:
To submit to Muumuu House find a person who has been published by or is associated with Muumuu House and read their blog. If you like their blog make a comment in their comments section in a sincere and natural manner, expressing your feelings. Eventually someone associated with Muumuu House will probably read your comment and click your name and find your blog. If that person likes your blog, to a certain degree, then they will probably tell other people in emails or in real life and then at some point you will probably be emailed, not necessarily about Muumuu House, but maybe about Muumuu House. I think this is more natural. It supports a ‘there is no good or bad in art’ mentality, is probably much faster and more efficient than emailing submissions and having people read them and respond to them, and I think it decreases loneliness, boredom, and despair more effectively than with ‘normal’ submissions, based on my experiences with the internet, I believe.
The MUUMUU HOUSE site is nice and calming to look at, the blue/black/white no photos feel is pleasant, it seems a very good thing.
Video games killed the internet stars
I don’t know what’s more brilliant, Grand Theft Auto San Andreas by Brandon Scott Gorrell or Mario’s Three Lives by Matt Bell. To be fair, Bell’s was published, and more than likely written, before Gorrell’s. There is a chance the latter ‘got the idea’ from the former, which is completely legitimate, given the unique talent found in both stories. I just needed to mention what came first.
Gorrell is known for ‘severely deadpan humor’ borderlining on ‘pathologically morose.’ (I’m doing the quote thing like him, but it’s not working.) Bell’s writing is meaty and adroit, full of restrained energy, like a more agile Hemingway.
Both stories describe a narrative based on the actual video games. Gorrell simply describes what’s seen on the screen in a detached journalistic tone, whereas Bell imposes more character into Mario, describing not just what Mario does, but what he thinks and sees.
Gorrell:
He zoomed in and placed the crosshair on the man’s face. Alex shot his face and the man’s head disappeared and blood began shooting vertically out of his neck and his body fell over.
Bell:
The plumber leaps across lava and disintegrating paths. He ducks under spikes falling from ceilings and kills every enemy in his path. His mouth, his stupid useless mouth, it is smiling.
Cup half empty: this is mere clever gimmickry by two talented writers. Cup half full: this is an important comment on the artifice of culturally constructed narratives, using collective ‘pop-memories’ to broach upon universal truths.
My cup is half whatever. It doesn’t matter. I like the stories. Gorrell’s protagonist earns $12,000. “Fuck yeah,” he says.
Fuck yeah Gorrell and Bell, you guys rhyme.






I think changing publishers before a book comes out is kind of interesting. Well, it adds drama. For the writer, it poses an interesting dilemma. You have to kind of feel that one press is better than the other, but you already accepted with the one press so why did you send it anyway? Brandon Scott Gorrell faced a situation where he had accepted with Greying Ghost Press but when Tao Lin decided to start his own press, Brandon backed out and went with Tao. Not a surprise. I think most of us would have done the same thing, or maybe not. 