(interview after break)

HTMLGIANT: explain why you started pangur ban party. what kind of writing do you like. where is it going in terms of projects.

DJB: I started PANGUR BAN PARTY because of bear parade and bearcreekfeed. I really enjoy both of those sites and thought it was really cool how I could read such good poetry and fiction for free on the internet. Then I remembered that I know some good writers and some decent HTML, and figured that I should start my own site like bear parade and bearcreekfeed. Basically I want to be Gene Morgan’s protege. I like writing that is abstract or makes me feel less lonely. For PANGUR BAN PARTY, I like anything that I think other people will enjoy reading. The only concrete plans I have for the future of PANGUR BAN PARTY are to keep posting work that I enjoy, try to increase submissions, and send out free prints whenever I feel like it. Increasing submissions is probably the most important.

HTMLGIANT: what is the coolest aspect of the internet. what is the lamest.

DJB: The coolest aspect of the internet is playing RISK online. The lamest aspect of the internet is jokes that aren’t funny.

HTMLGIANT: if you were a bad guy in a video game, what would be the secret way to kill you.

DJB: If I was a bad guy in a video game, the secret way to kill me would be to sit still for a long time and then wait until I get drunk and die. I think it would be effective because it would require patience and tact. And booze.

HTMLGIANT: what is (if you have one) your most extreme sexual fantasy.

HTMLGIANT: My most extreme sexual fantasy is the missionary position. Just kidding. It’s actually donkey pornography. Just kidding again, it was really the missionary position the whole time.

HTMLGIANT: how many punches in the face would it take to knock you out.

DJB: I don’t know how many punches in the face it would take to knock me out. I’ve never been punched in the face. I have a scar on my eyebrow because I was hit in the face with a baseball, though. It didn’t knock me out. If I had to guess, I would say that it would take two punches to the face to knock me out.

HTMLGIANT: what was the last book you regret buying.

DJB: The last book I regret buying is You Shall Know Our Velocity! by Dave Eggars. It’s a great book, but I bought it at an airport in Detroit and I ended up just falling asleep on the plane instead of reading it. After I read it later, I didn’t regret it anymore.

HTMLGIANT: have you ever loved someone. how did you know you loved him/her.

DJB: I have loved many people. I know that I love someone if we get drunk together and are still friends in the morning. Bonus love if we get drunk again in the morning.

HTMLGIANT: what would be three titles for a book you would like to read or write.

DJB: I would like to read or write books called “The Importance Of Genius: An Analytical Guide To The Movie Kindergarten Cop”, “Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date Your Sister”, and “The Importance Of Analysis: An Analytic Guide To The Book ‘The Importance Of Genius: An Analytical Guide To The Movie Kindergarten Cop’”.

HTMLGIANT: if you were a mortal kombat character, what would your fatality, your animality and your friendship be.

DJB: If I was a character in Mortal Kombat, my fatality would be to continously knock someone out until he or she was on the verge of starving to death, then forcing him or her to eat a bunch of food so that his or her stomach exploded. My animality would be an owl because I took a quiz on the internet just now about what animal I would be and it chose owl. My friendship would be watching the movie Kindergarten Cop.

HTMLGIANT: what is the last thing to ruin your day completely.

DJB: The last thing to ruin my day completely was discovering that I lost the lottery again. This happens every day. Just kidding, I don’t play the lottery. The last thing to ruin my day completely was actually when I realized that I am a poor conversationalist. This happens every day. I’m serious. I’m more serious about not playing the lottery.

HTMLGIANT: what have you learned being an editor for a writing website.

DJB: Being the editor of a writing website has taught me more about HTML, patience, networking, and to never wear a seat belt. Being the editor of a writing website has been a very positive experience for me. I think that PANGUR BAN PARTY is good, and I like where it is going. It has been fun to watch it grow.

HTMLGIANT: what is something in a story/novel/poem that immediately makes you dislike it.

DJB: I immediately dislike a piece of writing if it celebrates being in love.

HTMLGIANT: give me the biography of your face.

DJB: My face (born December 31, 1986) has seen many things and made many shapes. It enjoys blinking, yawning, and rolling its eyes.