July 14th, 2009 / 5:37 pm
 Uncategorized

Literary Lessons from Metal Magazines: Early Man Reviews Books

 

If I sit in your lap, will you read to me?

If I sit in your lap, will you read to me?

I’m going to see if I can start a book club with Early Man. You know, go to their house, talk about books we read. That’s right! My own book club, with Early Man! Because those bitches from the PTA wouldn’t talk to me because I wasn’t “PTA” enough and wouldn’t invite me to their book club! (It was cool- I hung out with this Jamaican drug dealer named Ray whilst picking up our kids. Much more pleasant than talking to Cynthia/Satan, PTA President from the Devil’s Anus.) And you know what? After we talk about books, we’re gonna get really fucked up and screw! Wait,  that just slipped out. Anyway, here’s some excellent recommendations from Early Man- The 12th Planet by Zecharia Sitchin, anyone?

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30 Comments

  1. July 14th, 2009 / 9:47 pm Gian—

      Early Man is wonderful.

      Death is the Answer to My Prayers (too).

  2. July 14th, 2009 / 5:47 pm Gian—

      Early Man is wonderful.

      Death is the Answer to My Prayers (too).

  3. July 14th, 2009 / 10:51 pm jereme—

      where are their beards?!?

  4. July 14th, 2009 / 6:51 pm jereme—

      where are their beards?!?

  5. July 14th, 2009 / 6:55 pm pr—

      But Jereme, you know they have songs on the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie? Thought you’d dig that. But you may have known. I LUV them.

  6. July 14th, 2009 / 11:06 pm jereme—

      their ATHF status does not phase me. no beards == no metal.

      THIS IS THE FUCKING LAW PR. THERE IS NO DEVIATION.

      man one of the reasons i can’t get behind “as i lay dying” is the lack of beard. and fuck pr, i do like me some “as i lay dying”.

  7. July 14th, 2009 / 7:06 pm jereme—

      their ATHF status does not phase me. no beards == no metal.

      THIS IS THE FUCKING LAW PR. THERE IS NO DEVIATION.

      man one of the reasons i can’t get behind “as i lay dying” is the lack of beard. and fuck pr, i do like me some “as i lay dying”.

  8. July 14th, 2009 / 7:11 pm pr—

      Aw, Jereme, you can just have enough beard for all of them??? Psychic beard flowing through space to metalandia everywhere?

      Hey check out the beard of the man who was my only witness at my “wedding” (city hall shit). He also took care of my son when I gave birth to number two. His beard kicks your beard’s ass!

  9. July 14th, 2009 / 7:12 pm pr—
  10. July 14th, 2009 / 11:20 pm jereme—

      i like that guy. i dunno. he has age on me so it’s not an easy comparison.

      fuck pr, my girlfriend pointed out the white hairs in my stache the other day.

      i’m getting old and red heads don’t go gray they go white.

      i’m going to be the angriest fucking santa clause looking guy. give it about 10 years.

  11. July 14th, 2009 / 7:20 pm jereme—

      i like that guy. i dunno. he has age on me so it’s not an easy comparison.

      fuck pr, my girlfriend pointed out the white hairs in my stache the other day.

      i’m getting old and red heads don’t go gray they go white.

      i’m going to be the angriest fucking santa clause looking guy. give it about 10 years.

  12. July 14th, 2009 / 7:35 pm pr—

      Yeah, he’s 50. But I thought you’d appreciate his beard. He was my best friend in the world for ten years.

  13. July 14th, 2009 / 11:54 pm Janey Smith—

      Misfits.

  14. July 14th, 2009 / 7:54 pm Janey Smith—

      Misfits.

  15. July 15th, 2009 / 12:11 am Nathan (Nate) Tyree—

      Killing Joke

  16. July 14th, 2009 / 8:11 pm Nathan (Nate) Tyree—

      Killing Joke

  17. July 15th, 2009 / 12:21 am ryan—

      i like the idea of a book club with a band. that would be fun. sounds like a documentary film i would like.

  18. July 14th, 2009 / 8:21 pm ryan—

      i like the idea of a book club with a band. that would be fun. sounds like a documentary film i would like.

  19. July 14th, 2009 / 8:25 pm pr—

      misfits and killing joke? Did they have book clubs? Or write book reviews? Great bands, both of them.

  20. July 15th, 2009 / 12:42 am Nathan (Nate) Tyree—

      I wish they did have book clubs. That would arouse me

  21. July 14th, 2009 / 8:42 pm Nathan (Nate) Tyree—

      I wish they did have book clubs. That would arouse me

  22. July 15th, 2009 / 2:01 am Ross Brighton—

      A killing joke bookclub would be wicked – they’d recommend some crazy shit.

  23. July 14th, 2009 / 10:01 pm Ross Brighton—

      A killing joke bookclub would be wicked – they’d recommend some crazy shit.

  24. July 15th, 2009 / 2:05 am Ross Brighton—

      Re: Early Man recs – The Prophet? Really???

  25. July 14th, 2009 / 10:05 pm Ross Brighton—

      Re: Early Man recs – The Prophet? Really???

  26. July 14th, 2009 / 10:15 pm Nathan (Nate) Tyree—

      Hell yeah!

  27. July 15th, 2009 / 2:15 am Nathan (Nate) Tyree—

      Hell yeah!

  28. July 14th, 2009 / 10:25 pm pr—

      You saw it! They do recommend. I’m smashed.

  29. July 15th, 2009 / 9:20 pm davidpeak—

      Once, I met Stephen O’Malley and he called me a caveman. I felt good about that.

  30. July 15th, 2009 / 5:20 pm davidpeak—

      Once, I met Stephen O’Malley and he called me a caveman. I felt good about that.