Reviews

Drunk Notes on Vicky Christina Barcelona

A while back, I got drunk and watched this movie. And I took drunken notes thinking of writing a real review. I am not going to write that review. Here are my drunk notes.

 

 

No one hate the hearts of women like Woody Allen.

 

Perhaps it wasn’t always so, I won’t go into the history of his movies.

 

Oh, Spanish men. I am the first person to objectify them.

 

Uptight bitch v. freewheeler.

 

Soft porn

 

Reason v. big tits

 

The whore wins, the other is almost barfing

 

Love is transient, after looking at a sculpture of the crucifix

 

The catalan disappears

 

Making fun of middle class joys in ny

 

Nothing to do with catalan

 

Spanish guitar

 

Vile projection

As a middle aged woman

 

The ridicule of business men,

We all LOVe the artists

Fuck you

 

What would be the womans fantasy

And how can I do it

 

All of the music in in Spanish

 

Then the fucking

With her and her husband, she was moved by her Spanish fuck

 

Unhappy woman

“we can always…”

 

This idea that a business man is not as good as a lovwr

Stupid

 

The idea that love is better secretive is shit

She was the lover of an exciting man,

Free think thinking man

 

 

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33 Comments

  1. Catherine Lacey

      “The whore wins, the other is almost barfing”
      Hahaha
      and: “No one hate the hearts of women like Woody Allen. / Perhaps it wasn’t always so, I won’t go into the history of his movies.”

  2. Catherine Lacey

      “The whore wins, the other is almost barfing”
      Hahaha
      and: “No one hate the hearts of women like Woody Allen. / Perhaps it wasn’t always so, I won’t go into the history of his movies.”

  3. ryan

      i love woody allen. i liked VCB but not as much as some of his other recent ones. not sure anything will ever beat Annie Hall. OF COURSE.

  4. ryan

      i love woody allen. i liked VCB but not as much as some of his other recent ones. not sure anything will ever beat Annie Hall. OF COURSE.

  5. pr

      In the past five years or so, I find him depressing. But I have loved some of his movies. Crimes and Misdemeanors. But I am no longer interested in his sexual fantasies. If I were a 25 yr old man I may still find him interesting but as a middle aged woman- he just truly saddens me.

      Anyway, Ryan, I still think you are wonderful and I know we disagree on Tom Waits, too. But it’s OK. We agree on enough, right?

  6. ryan

      we agree on plenty. and it’s no fun if we agree on everything. it’s all good.

      woody allen also wrote one of the funniest short stories i’ve ever read, but i can’t remember the title right now. i’ll work on that. i can see why you find him sad. as a person, who knows, but as a filmmaker i admire his body of work.

  7. ryan

      we agree on plenty. and it’s no fun if we agree on everything. it’s all good.

      woody allen also wrote one of the funniest short stories i’ve ever read, but i can’t remember the title right now. i’ll work on that. i can see why you find him sad. as a person, who knows, but as a filmmaker i admire his body of work.

  8. Mark Doten

      “Unhappy woman/ ‘we can always…'” aw yeah, nice.

      Really good film, I thought — Penelope Cruise was a force of nature. And Mr. Bardem was sexy as shit.

      The recent acclaimed ones — Match Point is mostly what I’m talking about — really weren’t good at all. But VCB was nice — the voice-over thing was annoying, but the film did get at something real and sexy.

      Have seen Husbands and Wives like 30 times, and think it’s one of the best movies ever — top 20 films of all time? So Woody Allen’s in my mind a major talent. But it is a little weird that he produce so many suck films, such that this (VCB) slight — albeit sexy and compelling — one can become a triumph in my mind.

      I like Husbands and Wives so much that earlier today, before this post went up, I commented in another post that something was “metabolically not my rhythm” — a line delivered in that film by the great Judy Davis, which I often use, in speech and internet comments.

  9. Mark Doten

      “Unhappy woman/ ‘we can always…'” aw yeah, nice.

      Really good film, I thought — Penelope Cruise was a force of nature. And Mr. Bardem was sexy as shit.

      The recent acclaimed ones — Match Point is mostly what I’m talking about — really weren’t good at all. But VCB was nice — the voice-over thing was annoying, but the film did get at something real and sexy.

      Have seen Husbands and Wives like 30 times, and think it’s one of the best movies ever — top 20 films of all time? So Woody Allen’s in my mind a major talent. But it is a little weird that he produce so many suck films, such that this (VCB) slight — albeit sexy and compelling — one can become a triumph in my mind.

      I like Husbands and Wives so much that earlier today, before this post went up, I commented in another post that something was “metabolically not my rhythm” — a line delivered in that film by the great Judy Davis, which I often use, in speech and internet comments.

  10. thomas p levy

      also

      WHAT THE FUCK NARRATION :-(

  11. thomas p levy

      also

      WHAT THE FUCK NARRATION :-(

  12. Kevin O'Neill

      Don’t remember if I ever saw this.
      Sounds about right.

  13. Kevin O'Neill

      Don’t remember if I ever saw this.
      Sounds about right.

  14. david erlewine

      Husbands and Wives and Crimes and Misdemeanors are my two WA favorites.

      I haven’t seen VB but this write-up is gold, pr, GOLD (aping Kenny Bana voice but I’m serious)

  15. david erlewine

      Husbands and Wives and Crimes and Misdemeanors are my two WA favorites.

      I haven’t seen VB but this write-up is gold, pr, GOLD (aping Kenny Bana voice but I’m serious)

  16. pr

      I thought I’d share my drunk notes since I was too drunk to properly remember it and I really really didn’t like what I saw so I have on intention of seeing it again.

      The Spaniards were very sexy. But the writing -the characters- were so cliche and awful in my mind. I thought it was a sad movie and a very mean one.

      But yeah, he made great movies before he decided to just give up on understanding humans and live inside his mind, a mind I find depressing.

  17. pr

      I thought I’d share my drunk notes since I was too drunk to properly remember it and I really really didn’t like what I saw so I have on intention of seeing it again.

      The Spaniards were very sexy. But the writing -the characters- were so cliche and awful in my mind. I thought it was a sad movie and a very mean one.

      But yeah, he made great movies before he decided to just give up on understanding humans and live inside his mind, a mind I find depressing.

  18. sarah

      2 most notable lines for me also. this is a fun lil experiment you should keep doing

  19. sarah

      2 most notable lines for me also. this is a fun lil experiment you should keep doing

  20. pr

      that would be no intention

  21. pr

      that would be no intention

  22. jereme

      i used to read those short stories to ryan. way back in high school.

      my friend steve introduced me to woody allen’s stories. it spurred us to write “funny stories” and submit them at the end of the day to see who was funnier.

      steve liked to rip woody allen off. he won often as i wasn’t ripping any one off really.

      then one day i wrote a story about his step-father perry, i depicted him as a high pitched jew (which he was) with a smooth hairless region instead of genitals or something like that.

      i won that day.

      i am not sure why i just remembered that story.

      pr,

      i really liked these notes. i laughed a lot.

      my favorite line “fuck you”

      exactly

  23. jereme

      i used to read those short stories to ryan. way back in high school.

      my friend steve introduced me to woody allen’s stories. it spurred us to write “funny stories” and submit them at the end of the day to see who was funnier.

      steve liked to rip woody allen off. he won often as i wasn’t ripping any one off really.

      then one day i wrote a story about his step-father perry, i depicted him as a high pitched jew (which he was) with a smooth hairless region instead of genitals or something like that.

      i won that day.

      i am not sure why i just remembered that story.

      pr,

      i really liked these notes. i laughed a lot.

      my favorite line “fuck you”

      exactly

  24. pr

      haha-
      yeah, i got pissed a few times. He just seemed to hate almost all of his characters. It was unpleasant.
      The last line of my notes is strange, because that is when it was clear I was too drunk to continue writing
      “free think thinking man”????
      what? We’ll never know.

  25. pr

      haha-
      yeah, i got pissed a few times. He just seemed to hate almost all of his characters. It was unpleasant.
      The last line of my notes is strange, because that is when it was clear I was too drunk to continue writing
      “free think thinking man”????
      what? We’ll never know.

  26. larry

      pr – I think you and I are on the same page re: woody. i’ve been married 11 years and i think that is why i hated match point. vcb was enjoyable enough and my notes would look a lot like you. except i objectify scarlet jo not spanish men.

  27. larry

      pr – I think you and I are on the same page re: woody. i’ve been married 11 years and i think that is why i hated match point. vcb was enjoyable enough and my notes would look a lot like you. except i objectify scarlet jo not spanish men.

  28. pr

      Thanks Larry! I feel like I’m committing blasphemy sometimes when I knock Woody (Or Lorrie Moore, or Tom Waits…you know, “icons”) , but Match Point was hated by me and my husband, too. It was heartless in some way, not just a depiction of heartlessness, but heartless itself? I saw it ages ago (it had tennis in it, saw it as soon as it was available on movies on demand, since i don’t leave my house), so I can’t articulate exactly- but very similiar- the uptight rich wife who has no sexuality, v. Tits.

      And Woody was good! He just no longer is imo. He gave something up in his heart a while back- he stopped caring about others. Now he projects these fantasies that are about as unique as a frat boy’s or my 12 yr old son’s. I mean, it doesn’t take much imagination to have Penelope and Scarlett make out. I could even stand it if the premise was better or the writinng wasn’t so awful or every woman wasn’t a cariciture he mocked or condescended to.

      Whatever. Stereotypes can be used in an interesting fashion perhaps- except for the “business man can’t fuck, the artist can” that one is beyond stupid–but Woody just reveals too much of how little is left in him in this one. He’s an old man. I shoudl forgive him. But I don’t- yet.

  29. pr

      Thanks Larry! I feel like I’m committing blasphemy sometimes when I knock Woody (Or Lorrie Moore, or Tom Waits…you know, “icons”) , but Match Point was hated by me and my husband, too. It was heartless in some way, not just a depiction of heartlessness, but heartless itself? I saw it ages ago (it had tennis in it, saw it as soon as it was available on movies on demand, since i don’t leave my house), so I can’t articulate exactly- but very similiar- the uptight rich wife who has no sexuality, v. Tits.

      And Woody was good! He just no longer is imo. He gave something up in his heart a while back- he stopped caring about others. Now he projects these fantasies that are about as unique as a frat boy’s or my 12 yr old son’s. I mean, it doesn’t take much imagination to have Penelope and Scarlett make out. I could even stand it if the premise was better or the writinng wasn’t so awful or every woman wasn’t a cariciture he mocked or condescended to.

      Whatever. Stereotypes can be used in an interesting fashion perhaps- except for the “business man can’t fuck, the artist can” that one is beyond stupid–but Woody just reveals too much of how little is left in him in this one. He’s an old man. I shoudl forgive him. But I don’t- yet.

  30. ryan manning

      Vicky Cristina Barcelona is a 2008 film written and directed by Woody Allen.

  31. ryan manning

      Vicky Cristina Barcelona is a 2008 film written and directed by Woody Allen.

  32. larry

      pr-

      Yes! and you rule! and i just hate adultery movies in general made by guys who failed in their marriages (jules and jim is a fav. of one of my best friends, and i normally dig trouffout)… guess i’m snotty cos I done good…. sorry for late comment….

  33. larry

      pr-

      Yes! and you rule! and i just hate adultery movies in general made by guys who failed in their marriages (jules and jim is a fav. of one of my best friends, and i normally dig trouffout)… guess i’m snotty cos I done good…. sorry for late comment….