Sunday Service

David Peak Poem

The Destruction Loops, Parts 1-8

I’ve let my blood out in a steamy bath

I’ve jammed a butter knife into the toaster

Lied down on my back and dropped a shot put on my face

I stuffed balls of newspaper print in my mouth

And spelled the state capitals in alphabetical order

I allowed myself to be hypnotized at the count of 8

The snap of my neck like the snap of a hypnotist’s fingers

The hypnotist showed me the earth as the angels see it

The streets are a twisted maze and we are lost in the maze

We are born walking into the world’s maze

At the count of 4 you will forget your confusion

The bathroom is filled with steam and the mirrors are steamed over

You cannot see yourself or your face in the mirror

The maze is all right angles

You are born into a confusion of angles

You will realize your confusion at the count of 4

1 – turn right

2 – turn right again

3 – turn right again

4 – turn right again

You are where you began

You must make this circuit twice

You are no longer lost in this section of the maze

I hear the snap of fingers like the snap of my neck

I am alone in a great square in a gray city

There are clouds adrift in the swollen sky

The clouds are swollen with acid rain

The gray city is one of many on an island in the ocean

The ocean is green

Its green waters are a bath of acid eating away at the coastline

You cannot see yourself in the mirror

Soon the clouds will open up and let loose their rains

You will strip naked and let them eat away at your skin

In the morning your skeleton will be found by a group of hungry lions

The lions will have ribs like wishbones pushing out at their fur

And they will pick you clean

You have given them a fullness

The meat on your bones will have completed its circuit

You will feel that you have done the right thing

You will feel an angel place a heavy hand on your shoulder

You will close your eyes and count to 8

You are clean now

You have smeared jam on your toast

You are no longer hungry

It is warm here in the lion’s den

David Peak is the author of a novel, The Rocket’s Red Glare (Leucrota Press), a book of poems, Surface Tension (BlazeVOX Books), and a chapbook, Museum of Fucked (Warm Milk Press). He lives in New York City and blogs at davidpeak.blogspot.com.

January 31st, 2010 / 12:07 pm
Sunday Service

76 Comments

  1. Hannah Miet

      Electric city.

      Electricity.

  2. Hannah Miet

      Electric city.

      Electricity.

  3. mark

      love this. want more like this. it’s not part of a book yet, is it?

  4. mark

      love this. want more like this. it’s not part of a book yet, is it?

  5. Nick Antosca

      Well done sir.

  6. Nick Antosca

      Well done sir.

  7. Paul

      David Peak is mighty.

  8. Paul

      David Peak is mighty.

  9. Blake Butler

      wonderful

  10. Blake Butler

      wonderful

  11. Chad Reynolds

      Good work, David Peak. I am convinced.

  12. Chad Reynolds

      Good work, David Peak. I am convinced.

  13. Ken Baumann

      Beautiful.
      Thank you, David.

  14. Ken Baumann

      Beautiful.
      Thank you, David.

  15. Shane Anderson

      really good.

  16. Shane Anderson

      really good.

  17. Ben Spivey

      Awesome.

  18. Ben Spivey

      Awesome.

  19. Ross Brighton

      Word up. I eagerly await books.

  20. Ross Brighton

      Word up. I eagerly await books.

  21. jesusangelgarcia

      there are some fine images in this piece, I think, esp. the right turns leading back to zero, homebase, and I like the one-line-at-a-time structure, the rhythm at times.

      but am I a grammar nazi to point out that “lied” is all wrong? and this bothers no one but me?

      the word choice rubs ugly — not in a good way — and mars the reading b/c it happens at the start.

      question one: is correct verb conjugation out of touch w/ the tone of the piece?

      question two: should anyone besides the writer be held accountable for this arguably misguided choice?

      question three: is it even an error, or intentional, and if intentional, what contribution does it make to the poem?

      not trying to start a fight, and I mean no disrespect to the poet. it’s just that these questions linger…

  22. jesusangelgarcia

      there are some fine images in this piece, I think, esp. the right turns leading back to zero, homebase, and I like the one-line-at-a-time structure, the rhythm at times.

      but am I a grammar nazi to point out that “lied” is all wrong? and this bothers no one but me?

      the word choice rubs ugly — not in a good way — and mars the reading b/c it happens at the start.

      question one: is correct verb conjugation out of touch w/ the tone of the piece?

      question two: should anyone besides the writer be held accountable for this arguably misguided choice?

      question three: is it even an error, or intentional, and if intentional, what contribution does it make to the poem?

      not trying to start a fight, and I mean no disrespect to the poet. it’s just that these questions linger…

  23. Matt Cozart

      should be “lain”, right? past participle of “lie”? i only know that cuz i looked it up just now. hm. i don’t like to be a grammar nazi either, *especially* in poetry, where, as a general thing, i like to say anything goes. but when it comes to lie, lay, lied, lain…yeah, i always wince at that. it’s no big deal, it’s a mistake everyone makes, including good writers. …but it annoys me that it so often slips past editors.

  24. Matt Cozart

      should be “lain”, right? past participle of “lie”? i only know that cuz i looked it up just now. hm. i don’t like to be a grammar nazi either, *especially* in poetry, where, as a general thing, i like to say anything goes. but when it comes to lie, lay, lied, lain…yeah, i always wince at that. it’s no big deal, it’s a mistake everyone makes, including good writers. …but it annoys me that it so often slips past editors.

  25. jesusangelgarcia

      sure, anything goes, but every word counts, no?

  26. jesusangelgarcia

      sure, anything goes, but every word counts, no?

  27. darby

      i think if you use lain, then you kind of have to say ‘had lain’ to make it sound okay, but that adds a new syllable and either way makes it sound too pretentiously grammarful or something, not in line with the tone of the poem. lied doesnt bother me, its very simple sounding and fits with the tone of the poem.

  28. darby

      i think if you use lain, then you kind of have to say ‘had lain’ to make it sound okay, but that adds a new syllable and either way makes it sound too pretentiously grammarful or something, not in line with the tone of the poem. lied doesnt bother me, its very simple sounding and fits with the tone of the poem.

  29. Trey

      he wouldn’t have had to use “had lain”, I think, because he started the first two lines with “I’ve” and left “I’ve” to be implied on the third line, so it would be “(I’ve) Lain down on my back…” right? It doesn’t bother me either way, but w/e. maybe I’m misreading it, and I’ve isn’t even implied on the third line.

  30. Trey

      he wouldn’t have had to use “had lain”, I think, because he started the first two lines with “I’ve” and left “I’ve” to be implied on the third line, so it would be “(I’ve) Lain down on my back…” right? It doesn’t bother me either way, but w/e. maybe I’m misreading it, and I’ve isn’t even implied on the third line.

  31. darby

      i think you’re right, it is implied, but even so, it still would sound weird to begin that line with Lain. i think ‘had lain’ would at least sound better.

  32. darby

      i think you’re right, it is implied, but even so, it still would sound weird to begin that line with Lain. i think ‘had lain’ would at least sound better.

  33. jesusangelgarcia

      I agree. It sounds pretentious w/ lain, out of sync w/ the rest of the poem. But lied doesn’t work either b/c it draws unnecessary attention to itself.

  34. jesusangelgarcia

      I agree. It sounds pretentious w/ lain, out of sync w/ the rest of the poem. But lied doesn’t work either b/c it draws unnecessary attention to itself.

  35. rachel a.

      What about “went”?

  36. rachel a.

      What about “went”?

  37. darby

      no cuz then its like he urinated on his back

  38. darby

      no cuz then its like he urinated on his back

  39. James Y

      isn’t it supposed to be “lay”?

  40. darby

      performed an action whereby i became horizontal and staring upward

  41. James Y

      isn’t it supposed to be “lay”?

  42. darby

      performed an action whereby i became horizontal and staring upward

  43. rachel a.

      haha

      what a girl

  44. rachel a.

      haha

      what a girl

  45. darby

      i think the problem with lay is it makes the tense ambiguous with like is he placing something on his back. no?

  46. darby

      i think the problem with lay is it makes the tense ambiguous with like is he placing something on his back. no?

  47. jesusangelgarcia

      Nope, “have” makes it “lain.” I like “performed an action whereby I became horizontal,” Darby, but ya know, it’s kind of a mouthful…

  48. jesusangelgarcia

      Nope, “have” makes it “lain.” I like “performed an action whereby I became horizontal,” Darby, but ya know, it’s kind of a mouthful…

  49. darby

      well. real poets go the distance.

  50. darby

      well. real poets go the distance.

  51. jesusangelgarcia

      lied, lay, lain… bottom line (if we’re being honest here): the line has to be reworked or cut.

      no?

  52. jesusangelgarcia

      lied, lay, lain… bottom line (if we’re being honest here): the line has to be reworked or cut.

      no?

  53. jesusangelgarcia

      like triathletes?

  54. jesusangelgarcia

      like triathletes?

  55. darby

      i dont know. i dont think it detracts much as is. i didnt notice it until you mentioned it. i tend to have a pretty liberal approach to grammar in poetry or even fiction, if i understand what a writer means it worked for me.

  56. darby

      i dont know. i dont think it detracts much as is. i didnt notice it until you mentioned it. i tend to have a pretty liberal approach to grammar in poetry or even fiction, if i understand what a writer means it worked for me.

  57. darby

      yes. real poets go the distance like triathletes. thanks.

  58. darby

      yes. real poets go the distance like triathletes. thanks.

  59. rachel a.

      damn damn damn

      i replied with like 30 adjectives but the site ate my reply and i didn’t save a copy, that’s unlike me

  60. rachel a.

      damn damn damn

      i replied with like 30 adjectives but the site ate my reply and i didn’t save a copy, that’s unlike me

  61. jesusangelgarcia

      I’m just playing, Darby. I know what you mean. Real poets make a lifelong commitment, and it’s a worthy one, to be sure.

  62. jesusangelgarcia

      I’m just playing, Darby. I know what you mean. Real poets make a lifelong commitment, and it’s a worthy one, to be sure.

  63. Jason

      Thank you jesusangelgarcia for taking the time to begin a discussion about the poem. Seriously, I’d rather read a million comments debating grammar more than “good job,” “great job,” “awesome poem,” etc. At least then I’m learning something.

  64. Jason

      Thank you jesusangelgarcia for taking the time to begin a discussion about the poem. Seriously, I’d rather read a million comments debating grammar more than “good job,” “great job,” “awesome poem,” etc. At least then I’m learning something.

  65. Gene Morgan

      In David’s defense, I’m a very lazy editor that doesn’t really edit at all.

  66. Gene Morgan

      In David’s defense, I’m a very lazy editor that doesn’t really edit at all.

  67. a moorad

      sweet.

  68. a moorad

      sweet.

  69. barry

      you’re the man, david.

  70. barry

      you’re the man, david.

  71. davidpeak.blogspot.com

      thank you, everyone, for reading

      i am sorry i suck at that one word :(

  72. davidpeak.blogspot.com

      thank you, everyone, for reading

      i am sorry i suck at that one word :(

  73. jesusangelgarcia

      one bad word does not a bad poem make. I like the piece, david, and the dialogue said word launched. thanks for going the distance… (I’m a big fan of “decay, dissection, perception, the human body”).

  74. jesusangelgarcia

      one bad word does not a bad poem make. I like the piece, david, and the dialogue said word launched. thanks for going the distance… (I’m a big fan of “decay, dissection, perception, the human body”).

  75. Scott

      Like this. I’m buying your new book. I always love poems with lions.

  76. Scott

      Like this. I’m buying your new book. I always love poems with lions.