January 11th, 2009 / 8:38 pm
Author Spotlight
Michael Madsen is a Writer I’d Like to Fuck
I know what you all are thinking: Michael Madsen is not a writer! He is a movie star! That is cheating! Right? You think I am cheating. I am not cheating. Madsen has written more books of poetry (that you can check out here on his fabulous website) than Viggo Mortenson (and he doesn’t show his anus and ballsack, like Viggo did in that Cronenburg movie, and like, made me feel less hot for Viggo, seeing that. I do like Viggo. Maybe that will be another post.)
Now, again, you are not going to really believe me here, but I don’t actually really LIKE movies stars, as a general rule. Firstly, I watch very few movies, because hockey doesn’t take place in them often enough. Secondly, once I saw this thing on TV about Russell Crowe and they were showing this “behind the scenes” thing and he was pretending (acting) all tough, and then they said “cut!” and he stopped acting ,and they came and fixed his hair. Like he was some girl, getting his hair fixed. Not sexy to me, acting.
I like Michael’s poems. Not all of them, but I could say that about even really famous fancy-ass poets. I wanted to like his poem about Madrid- I love Madrid, and I love Michael- but it wasn’t his best one. That is OK. Here is a poem of his I did like very much:
Bullshit
Mankind’s refusal to accept the result of their own folly
The Superego that thinks they know everything
about everything…
Based on theory, right?
The end of bullshit would be welcome.
The empty eyes you see everyday on TV.
And the quest for validation,
But it’s validation of ignorance.
Loss of love,
Loss of reason,
Loss of Leave it to Beaver,
Major Neslon had a Jeannie, but we don’t.
I really, really like that last line. I find it – an inspired line, a little gift that was given to Mikey, that he shared with us. He is published by a small press, found here, called 13 Hands Publications. I like that- he didn’t get no Faber and Faber deal, like Billy Corgan or Harper deal, like Jewel. I guess those are musicians, but you get my point. Anyay, I like his poems. And well– OK, little confession here– I did like him in The Getaway. I am a HUGE Jim Thompson fan. I like the original The Getaway with Steve McQueen and Ali McGraw, but I really really liked watching Michael Madsen fuck Jennifer Tilly in the remake. I saw it, uh, three times? So, sorry. I do maybe sort of like him due to the movie thing. But, you all have to admit- he’s no glamour puss! Here’s another one of his poems:
Schultz
I was having breakfast
And there was a group of Germans
At the next table.
They were all talking.
One guy looked like Sergeant Shultz
from Hogan’s Heroes
And it seemed like no one liked him
when he spoke.
I saw him around the hotel many
times after,
But he was always alone.
So, here goes it. Michael, darling, you are my third writer I’d like to fuck! Three is a lucky number. You also are not quite as uxorious as the other writers I want to fuck. Indeed, you are on wife three, or something like that. So, maybe, you are sort of “easy”? (There is a great PJ Harvey song called “Easy” that is also poetry. Check it.) Like me? Heels that roll back easily or whatnot? A bit of a tramp? Not picky? Sort of let most anyone feel you up after a fifth glass of bourbon? Likes to have sex with people, like how some people like to shake hands? I hope so. Contact me here in the comments section and let me show you my best Jennifer Tilly imitation (although I have no boobs, but I still can do all that hollering and bouncing up and down thing).
Tags: michael madsen, poetry
I like how the 13 Hands website distinguishes between Madsen’s “movies” and his “films.” Check it- Bloodrayne and Species are MOVIES. Reservoir Dogs and Free Willy are FILMS. Weirdly, Sin City is a MOVIE, while Tilt is a FILM.
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he has poems about making bad movies.
“when you make a bad movie, it id there forever”
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i like this series. it makes me jealous and gives me something to strive for, i think. but knowing that michael madsen writes poetry is like finding out that norm macdonald does stand up. wait a second…
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i like mike madsen. i didn’t know he wrote. i will check him out.
i dunno if Reservoir Dogs is a film? It is just a retelling of a bunch of movies. I guess since it was low budget it can be a film.
I really like watching Tarantino movies because it is fun to figure out which movie a scene or dialog or idea from another movie is from.
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Stuff isn’t terrible. But I would like to reserve using titles like “The Complete Works of…” for a writing span of longer than ten years. It’s like when bands with two albums have a Greatest Hits.
And, ahem, “Rexroth, Kerouac, Ginsberg, Bukowski would all agree that “those poets of immensity” have got nothing on Michael Madsen.”
Really?
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great post!
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pr:
i was with you on benjamin percy. he’s a cool cat. but this. two-bit films and sketchy poetry. really?
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I agree with barry.
I am down with Michael Madsen squinting away from the camera while Ennio Morricone wails (I don’t know how he would specifically “wail”) in the background. I am not down with his poetry, at all really. It’s just kind of boring.
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no chin, bad poetry
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Well. He is not Bejamin Percy. But I gotta keep going with the series, don’t I? He is a writer, and I would fuck him. I’ll just stop at that.
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plus- i thought the line “likes to fuck, like some people shake hands” was funny. Was I funny? That almost matters than anything else.
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If you fucked him you’d likely glimpse his ballsack, too. BTW the Nerve book is nowhere near good enough to have had to endure titty-boy earlier on. I am going to have my people pre-screen HTMLgiant prior to my reading from now on.
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JW-it was Viggo’sfrom behind view that as a woman, I rarely get. If were to fuck MM, I don’t think I would be pegging him from behind. Indeed, I would politely leave said situation if that is what he wanted. That’s just not my thing.
I apologise you took offense of my Nerve pic, and were not happy with the Nerve book.
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2 years ago a non-writer friend found Michael Madsen’s Collect Works Vol. I & gave it to me as a joke. It was one of the best birthday gifts I have ever been given.
It is the worst book of poetry I’ve ever read. I love it. I read it aloud to people when I want to humiliate them as they inevitably pee their pants.
Later, when I am home, I will find some of my particular favorites and post one.
Did you know that, in the book, there are stills from his movies? I’m pretty sure there’s no way to justify that, but it doesn’t stop me from loving it.
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Jac-
thanks for having a sense of humor. This blog post of mine was supposed to be funny. I do know he has stills in his book- indeed, his book is right here next to me. I don’t think it is all bad, but then again, I like all sorts of stuff other people who are smarter than me, hate. What i like about your comment, is that you are not holding this post against me. Or so it seems. Thank you.
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pr:
im not holding the post against you. i actually liked your post. and yes, the fucking like handshakes line was brilliant. i just wish the poetry and the movies were as great as your billing.
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thank you for liking my line. bgpr forever. I just want people to –well–like me. I know he’s not the bestest poet in the world. I still give him credit for writing poetry, instead of- I don’t know- doing a reality tv show? I don’t know. He’s hot. I’d fuck him in a heartbeat. But not from behind. That’s just not my thing. I don’t think it is his, either. But I am all for people fucking people from behind. Go people! Fuck how you like!
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As promised, here is one of my favorites. It is printed below a drawing one of his son’s made:
Sons
My Sons are all sleeping:
Christian, Max and Hudson.
I don’t know
if they will ever know
how much I love them.
O.J. Simpson is home tonight
and everything is
as it should be.
The news and the media
aren’t done yet-
they will never be done.
Bring that to your next English seminar and break it down!
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that no chin = bad poet rule is straight out of 101. i think it gets a mention in the Norton Anthology. it’s good to see it making a comeback.
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eh who cares if the guys poetry is bad. he is expressing himself. wtf is the issue.
is it clever and challenging? no.
are they going to study it at Yale? of course not.
regardless, the guy feels like he has something inside him he wants to get out. it is personal.
don’t read the shit if you don’t like it.
stand tall pr. fuck these people and their sky sniffing nostrils.
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thanks Jereme. Yes, the WILF thing was the point, but I guess is makes sense people want to talk about his poetry. I mostly wanted to talk about fucking him.
“:regardless, the guy feels like he has something inside him he wants to get out. it is personal.”
Nice.
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i think pr should be able to want to fuck anyone she wants.
i think people should be able to write and express themselves all they want.
i think a lot of people write things for personal reasons and don’t try to sell it.
but most of all,
i think it’s hilarious that michael madsen writes poetry, i couldn’t care less about it, but nothing’s going to convince me that it’s not a funny thing to find out about the guy. some people have felt the same way when they find out i write poetry, because they’d only seen one part of my personality, so it seemed like a humorous discovery. and that is okay.
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ryan – send me your address! did you get my email? i’ll send you some nice stuff for you haiku.
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pr, i have not gotten an email from you :(
rwrkb@hotmail.com?
if i got an email from you, that’d pretty much make my day.
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I emailed you! It went through….i use a fake name, like always, but i put “indie lit stuff from pr” in the subject…..i’ll go try again.
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oops- i got your addresss wrong- here goes it again.
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haha. my initials are complicated. i will look forward to the email.
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got it! and emailed you back. “Ka-pow”
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pr:
I agree that it was a funny post. I am not holding it against you. Also I am in and out of this HTML GIANT thing because I have inconsistent internet access and somehow I always manage to read your posts (without even checking who wrote them) so that is something. The fact that the book of poetry has movie stills in it makes me really happy, that is a great detail.
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ah, andre, no worries. thanks for thinking it was funny-
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brilliant post, many thanks for the info – I don’t normally reply to blog posts but got on this page by clicking a wrong link. Keep up the good work!
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i like here,it is feel so good!
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