August 1st, 2012 / 12:56 pm

Gore Vidal Memorial Inflammatory Sentence Competition *UPDATED*

The most inflammatory sentence in the comments wins the 70 UDP books from their Full Moon Sale.

The winner will be chosen by either Blake or myself. I’m not really sure who. We just made this contest up a few minutes ago over email, and didn’t really plan that far out.

Good luck, and R.I.P. Gore Vidal! Loved that Caligula!

*UPDATE 8/02/12* I’ve picked a winner, and that winner is Scott McClanahan. Congratulations, Scott! You’ve won some books! R.I.P. Gore Vidal!

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  1. Hank Barstow

      RIP to the worst type of cocksucker imperialist: a verbose, self-admitted, self-loathing white male apologist imperialist.

  2. Bobby Dixon

      gore vidal was a hater

  3. Nick Moran

      RIP Al Gore Vidal, best known for the liberal hoax known as climate science.

  4. Bryan Coffelt

      godspeed, al gore.


      My pubics feel like Jean Genet upon your absense Gore.

  6. Scott Riley Irvine

      Duluth was the best cultural satire ever written. 

  7. David W

      he was on the simpsons, right?

  8. Banango


  9. Lukas Novak


  10. Christopher Forsley

      The most ‘inflammatory’ sentence, aye? Um, how about this: I ran out of Preperation H the same day Gore Vidal fucked me in the ass without lube. . .

      RIP, America’s greatest essayist. 

  11. JosephYoung

      all you guys talk about are gay asians.

  12. abysmal

      I hope maggots make good lubrication. Rot in Hell, Whore Vidal.

  13. kb82

      “Alt lit” is a scam specifically designed to snare young ‘wide-but-shallow’ readers who desperately want friends/credibility on the internet because they are totally incapable of actual human connection.

  14. sam salvador

       is this the celebrity death that’ll make me feel anything? guess not

  15. TL27

      A golem cobbled together from envy, banalities, and Norman Mailer’s cum.

  16. Adam Robinson

      Is that supposed to be offensive, or did you just pull it from an old interview with Tao Lin?

  17. Adam Robinson

      I don’t WANT to sound like a racist, but feminists necessarily equal fat lesbians crossing the street like chickens to suck Abraham Lincoln’s emancipating Burr.

  18. Fyan_Farker

      brb. jk. – gore vidal

  19. Blount's Folly

      If Chic-Fil-A really wanted to stick to it’s guns it’d serve homosexuals.  The Gay-fil-a sandwich, made with real deep fried gays, could be a big hit with repressed queer evangelicals trying to get a piece of meat in their mouth.

  20. Donald Dunbar

      I just pasted a juicy black cunt over Gore Vidal’s lips and stuffed my cock in it till I came on my chink-made iPhone and the Koran. 

  21. Donald Dunbar

      Also, fuck all veterans.

  22. Megan

      Gore Vidal was only a medium talent, at best.

  23. LiamHarkin

      duude, that guys death was like totally hardgore

  24. j orloski

      poop fart poop fart poop buttcheeks and boobs

  25. cwinnette

      He had as soft a dick as the best of us, but when he came it was like a firefighter with post-traumatic stress syndrome left all alone with only a truck and an endless blaze.

  26. Erik Stinson

      strap on democracy 

  27. Gene Morgan

      Sexual stuff doesn’t really feel “inflammatory.” I just picture all of you having sex, and that’s more just awkward and gross.

      I feel confused now, like I have no idea what this contest is about.

  28. M. Kitchell

      my toes are chafing in my shoes, they’re all hell of inflamed

  29. werdfert

       i don’t watch the olympics

  30. Scott McClanahan

      Gore Vidal was a writer who didn’t give a shit about shit like this, and could care less about bullshit inflammatory sentences(well, maybe sometimes (maybe?)), and it’s sad to know that Caligula is what gets posted in this post because this man was a man who made love to Jack Kerouac and William Burroughs and many others and fought the great assholes of our time (Norman Mailer, William Buckley, the military industrial complex, and the bullshit irony of our shopping mall world), and left these books that none of these fuckers who are posting in this post will ever come close to topping(I include myself): Lincoln, Burr, 1876, Myra B., Myron, Empire, Creation, Duluth, The Golden Age, THE ESSAYS (which no one of this past century could even dream of writing).

      I’m glad to know the whole world is just one stupid ass contest now.

      In the tradition of Vidal I will break the rules of this post (this is the third sentence and the sentences of my future).  Don’t send me any of your fucking books from your book contest.   I will find the books of my life on my own (Thank You).  I found out about Henry Adams because of Vidal.  I found out about James Baldwin because of Vidal.  I found out about Celine because of Vidal.  I found out about Edmund Wilson because of Vidal, Dawn Powell, Mishima, Calvino, and Montaigne. I could go on, but I won’t.

      Thank you.   You are with your grandfather tonight, dear sir.

      Oh the irony of our modern age.   We should hang your heads tonight and pray.   He is one of us.  We should know this.

      Sadly, this is what whisper.  Let the facists come.   Perhaps they are us.

  31. Jordan Pennington

      Gore Vidal cyberbullied my mother until she took her own life. 

  32. Scott McClanahan

      and last but not least isn’t it so goddamn funny that a fellow human being has died?   HAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      God help us all.

      Okay I’m going to bed.  Hee hee.

  33. Ivan Pope

      So farewell then, Gore Vidal Sassoon, our finest war poet writer hairdresser, that was some kind of life for a bad boy like you, I’m sure you’ll enjoy heaven (or hell).

  34. lorian long

      my dad rlly loved gore vidal and as a result he was the first ‘smart person’ i knew about before i got my period. well, other than shakespeare, i guess. rip vidal and shakespeare. 

  35. postitbreakup

      what did he write??

  36. lorian long
  37. marshall mallicoat


  38. Scott McClanahan

      Also, I’m just being an ass.   GV would love inflammatory sentences.   You folks are so sensitive.  

  39. Golgonooza

      Gore Verbinski > Gore Vidal

  40. deadgod

      Good point.  Why shouldn’t child molesters get heart disease from the same tortured animals that kill banana-peelers.

  41. postitbreakup

      yeah I know how to use wiki I was just being silly like everyone else. thanks

  42. deadgod

      christ I thought that dizzy queen’s T-cells would never conk out

  43. lorian long

      i was just being silly 2

  44. Don

      Long live Norman Mailer.

  45. postitbreakup

      lol i’m dumb

  46. postitbreakup


  47. Trey

      bill murray once shouted this at chevy chase after a fight when murray was new on SNL and chase was being a dick as host. it’s a good insult.

  48. Trey

      yes, norman mailer was better

  49. Matt_Margo

      Guys, guys, all inflammatory sentences aside, if it weren’t for Gore Vidal, would any of us know anything about global warming?

  50. deadgod

      Especially cutting and adhesive – like a lamprey – in the cases where it’s accurate, and Vidal and Chase are two of those cases.

  51. A D Jameson

      I saw Vidal Sassoon not long before he died.

  52. A D Jameson

      Gore Vidal wrote Wikipedia articles?

  53. A D Jameson

      Gore Vidal was the poor man’s Norman Mailer.

      Still, I like the part where he shows up in Fellini’s Roma:

  54. reynard

      man that dude would have eaten your balls for breakfast, rubbed your taint for lunch and we all know what’d be for dinner

  55. Vore_Gidal

      I feel like if I say something inflammatory people will be offended and I have an aversion to offending people who seem nice/have seemingly coherent and sane political and moral beliefs.

      That said: Look, Roman Polanski raped that little hooker in retribution for the 1993 Branch Davidian compound massacre, the Aurora shooting was probably motivated by similar, public minded objectives, and I really don’t give a fuck about that whore America or her putrid, rotting cunt and will not weep every time she feels that she’s been taken advantage of.

  56. Edward Trefts

      God is my fuck doll.

  57. Sean Kauffman

      yo, fuck all you polite writers and your doily ass insults, you’re
      as inflamed as post-nasal drip, and fuck gore vidal and mailer too couple of
      insecure media slut politician wannabes, the most honest thing mailer did was stab his wife but not even to death, vidal was too gay to punch him the face on TV like they both wanted, and fuck those ugly duckling books I might not read but
      want cause the covers look cool and will impress my friends, in fact fuck
      literature a word for assholes who can’t tell their parents they’ve chosen to
      fail, why don’t you go chop wood or milk a fucking cow or sail on a boat,
      christ fuck all words the only word you need is fuck but only cause snorts don’t work on the internet.

  58. Trey

      itt: people revealing something about themselves as they try too hard

  59. Scott McClanahan

      Ooh yeah, he is cool in Roma.

  60. mimi

      bacterial pathogens, injured tissues, non-degradable pathogens, viral infection, persistent foreign bodies, autoimmune reactions, napalm, thermite, chlorine trifluoride, white phosphorus and chelsea martin’s wigger chick

  61. Richard Grayson

       Actually, he was the rich man’s Norman Mailer, as Norman would be the first to tell you.

      If you read the beautiful letters they wrote back and forth when they were both old, it’s clear that they were both very fond of each other despite the punching and head-butting.

  62. Richard Grayson

      Well, I will just say this as the cranky senior citizen here: Gore Vidal was an important writer to me when I was growing up.  Yesterday I counted and I read 13 of his books: two plays, two memoirs, one book of short stories, and the rest novels.  I guess you can’t understand what it was like to read “The City and the Pillar” as a young teen who knew he was gay in the early 1960s (same goes for Baldwin, Albee, and others).  Or to be a kid interested in politics and read “Washington, D.C.” — which is still my favorite of his books (“Julian” a close second).  I can still remember set pieces from “Washington, D.C.,” which I read from my mom’s Literary Guild hardcover edition (those were the days when middle-class people, even non-college-educated ones like my parents, got hardcover books from the Book of the Month Club and the Literary Guild every month).  I instinctively knew Vidal got everything “right” about Washington and the people he wrote about, like this one that I later saw Gloria Steinem mention:

      Toward the end of Gore Vidal’s gossipy, underrated novel, Washington, D.C.,
      a fictional girl named Elizabeth Watress meets President Truman at a
      Democratic Convention. She is tall, beautiful and well-bred. (In fact,
      her whispery voice, a divorced father who “played polo and drank
      heavily,” a public manner “simulating fear and delight in equal
      proportions,” and her eventual marriage to a handsome young
      Presidential-hopeful have led a lot of people to think she is based on
      Jacqueline Bouvier.) So it surprises Clay Overbury, her eventual
      husband, when she gazes after little homespun Harry Truman with whom she
      has just shaken hands, and exclaims, “‘He looks so sexy!’”

      “‘Sexy? Good God, you are crazy. That’s the President.’”

      “‘And that’s what I meant,’ said Elizabeth evenly, and Clay laughed. Not many girls were so honest.”

  63. Richard Grayson

      A lot of people here show their character in the comments they write.

  64. C

      Deadgod reminds me of Gore Vidal.

  65. David Fishkind

      All these pieces of shit who read HTMLGiant actually believe they are a part of something.

  66. A_Witt

      Gore Vidal writes like almost as good as Marie Calloway.

  67. shadowoftheknives

      ayn rand turned him gay and democrat

  68. deadgod

      –and it’s all so darn ill-fitted to ‘Titan’ Vidal.

  69. Nathan Curtis Warner

      Oh ya, this guy is the one whose thoughts were HIV positive and infected the world’s housewives with nothing less, causing them all to feel a bit less feminine.

  70. Tim Jones-Yelvington

      shade is when I dont have to tell gore vidal he’s ugly because he already knows he’s ugly. and dead.

  71. Jonathan King

       Gore Vidal, RIP (racist & intellectual prostitute)

  72. marshall mallicoat


  73. abysmal

      Of course they would pick the guy who preemptively turns down the prize.

  74. deadgod

      Ha ha – did Scott win because he says he’ll find the books of his life on his own right before he implies that he won’t know what to read now that ‘Titan’ Vidal has died, or for the pussyllanimous walk-back?

      Fucking Turkmenistani boxing referees.

  75. A D Jameson

       I was trying to be inflammatory :-/