10 Requests for Better Silence

1. Writing something does not guarantee you the right to have someone look at it, acknowledge it, read it, enjoy it, consider it for publication, have it for breakfast.
2. Writing could arguably be considered art and/or entertainment. If it does not act upon a body as art does (however that is, it often causes at least some sensation) and/or entertain, probably no one is going to give a shit. Birthday parties are for toddlers.
3. Most people aren’t going to give a shit even if it does do one or both of those things, and many people will never find it or give it time even if it does do one or both of those things, and though there are things you can do to improve your chances, please refer to list item #1.
4. Complaining about certain people not giving you “fair consideration” is never going to make anybody want to like you more, particularly when those people are publishers or reviewers or whatever, who get more than their fair share of these inputs (and they like it that way, but it’s still a lot).
5. Art is not democracy. People like what they like, or they find another reason to like it. If you bake me a beautiful cake, and I’m really not hungry, I’m not going to eat your cake, even if I personally can’t hardly pass on most cake even if I’m full as a motherfucker. Maybe your cake smells moldy, or is from a gas station.
6. Because anyone can choose what goes in and out of them, even when they are in a position where part of their “job” is to have things going in and out of them, no one has to make you feel OK with regards to the accuracy, efficiency, fairness, and rules about which they check you out. If I own a magazine, and I want people who want to be in my magazine to eat 14 pounds of lard and provide video proof before I’ll check out their art, I have every right to do that. It’s my fucking magazine! I started that motherfucker so I could do what I wanted to with it! If you don’t want to eat lard stay away from my magazine! There are like 1400 other magazines and many of them are so very democratic.
7. Stop worrying. The stakes are whatever you want them to be, and it doesn’t have to do with exposition. The longer it takes, the better for you. What if Michael Jordan had gotten picked up by the Bulls when he was 15? He would not be Michael Jordan.
8. No one got into this because they thought they were going to make sex and money. They aren’t trying to destroy you, even if they maybe are still in a la-la land of their own. THIS WHOLE THING IS LA LA LAND.
9. Don’t stop worrying. Worry more, but make it yours. Talk to yourself more, into your hands and in the bed and shower. Get angry and tell no one. This makes you into a person.
10. The more times you make the cake that no one eats or only eats a little the better you get at making another.