I love the television show LOST! (no, really! the show’s title is actually in all-caps!  this isn’t part of my MEME or my writerly VOICE which you are trying to STIFLE!  what is this an undergraduate poetry workshop?)  If you haven’t heard of LOST it’s about people who are LOST on an island!  They also might be LOST in their own LIVES, but I’m not sure!

Anyway, during LOST they’ve been showing promos for a new TV show called CASTLE which stars the guy from the last season of Buffy The Vampire Slayer (Sarah Michelle Gellar STAND UP!) and I am sooooooooooo excited for it because another one of my favorite TV shows is HOUSE which is also a show where the main character is also named after a shelter or building that is a dwelling or place for habitation by human beings and is ALSO the name of the show!  Wow!  I feel at HOME already!  LOL (did you get that joke?)

Get this!  RICHARD CASTLE is a WRITER who helps solve MURDERS!  Whaaaaaat?  What do writers know about MURDER?  (except for street poet SHYNE, FREE SHYNE Y’ALL SKIDDLY WHOAAAA)

BUT apparently someone is ACTING OUT the murders in RICHARD CASTLE’S NOVELS!  Wow!  That’s CRAZY!  I too like to act out my favorite writer’s creations!  There was this one time where I tried to act out the entirety of shattered sonnets love cards and other off and back handed importunite but then I got a NOSEBLEED and I had to stop!  Fortunately it was a SEXY nosebleed!

I bet you RICHARD CASTLE was nominated for a PUSHCART at some point!  Maybe he’s even received a hand-written rejection from The Georgia Review!?  (probably not).  I also think he’s judging the Saturnalia Book Prize this year!

I have high hopes that RICHARD CASTLE is going to be like a Salaman Rushdie’d David Caruso on CSI: Miami and every show is going to open up with him saying something like ‘Looks like…*takes off pair of Browlines* someone sent a personal rejection’ and then THE WHO will kick in (not that song, the other one!) and it’ll be like CASTLE!  And there will be an interesting JUXTAPOSITION between a PEN and a PENKNIFE and a bullet will be shot and hit a body which will turn into an SASE and the wound will resemble a FOREVER stamp!  And then you’ll get a commercial and it’ll be like ‘CASTLE!  Brought to you by NARRATIVE MAGAZINE!’ and you’ll be like ‘Ugh, not THOSE guys!’

Only on ABC!

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