October 10th, 2012 / 7:53 pm

Some album covers

Belle and Sebastian album covers always bothered me because they would remind me of The Smiths. Both bands are morbidly precious — or preciously morbid? — and English; well, the former is Scottish but who cares. England is to Scotland what China is to Korea what Spain is to Portugal. As in no one cares. I have a friend who has this rule where she won’t fuck a guy if she finds Belle and Sebastian on his playlist. I can understand: I have Belle and Sebastian on my playlist and I wouldn’t fuck me. It bothers me that you take a photo, run it through a color filter and slap some typographically “literary” text on it and consider it an album cover because, right, like your fans are all sensitive art students with melted candles and a suicidy razor blade by the bathtub; and emphatic or compulsive design seems uncool and corporatey, and your life is all about casual. Casual sex; casual resume sending; casual cereal for dinner. Every time I see one of these album covers I want to have a vasectomy and not subject my child to this world and vice versa. I love it when there’s an acoustic guitar lying around at a party — the kind of party with salsa and guacamole in coffee mugs because everyone’s too mellow to actually cook — and always the least-laid guy needs to pick it up and start playing the four chords he knows. Then five to seven grimly codependent-ish people all reluctantly stay quiet and feign attention while he plays something out of key. Then he starts sincerely singing, which is basically a metaphor for the world: we make it horrible with our feelings. Some asshole says do you know any Wilco and all the more amicable networky people into electronic music with better clothes and skin are on the roof now drinking beers, holding the bottle against the sun so that it seems that the sun is inside the bottle, setting into the amber sea.


  1. isScottHammer

      I love that Belle & Sebastian song about the girl who won’t fuck guys who have Belle & Sebastian records.

  2. William Owen

      Belle and Sebastian are the absolute perfect band to listen to while writing poems about crows and gray October skies.

  3. lorian long


  4. Tim Jones-Yelvington

      And so i turned to glamour and synthetic beats.

  5. tyler lebens

      I agree, the album covers always seemed cheap and shallow to me, kind of like the music

  6. bemightee

      Actually I always liked these covers. There is something iconic about their simplicity. Or maybe it is just the color satuaration that makes it seem that way.

  7. Josh Friedlander

      I own three out of these six. I wouldn’t fuck me either.

      Great last sentence.

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      […] likes are your likes, and no one can tell you any differently. They can mock you, of course, and people might not want to date you. But that still fails to address the more pertinent question, which is whether or not this new […]

  9. Alex Aguilar

      is this a youtube comment that you quoted?

  10. Guest

      I want to read those!

  11. dgd