August 19th, 2013 / 12:00 pm


I’ve been trying to think of a solid way to give away an early copy of my novel, The Persistence of Crows, along with a few other things that’ve been published this year or inspired me while writing the book, and I’m still at a bit of a loss. With that in mind, I’m going to leave things wide open and encourage you to say WHATEVER YOU WANT in order to win all five of these things.


They are:
Signed copies of The Persistence of Crows (Tiny TOE Press, Oct. 8, 2013)/poor me i hate me punish me come to my funeral (ebook/Eden Chapbooks, 2013)/Ode to a Vincent Gallo Nightingale (Black Coffee Press, 2013). 
As well as brand new copies of CROW by Ted Hughes, and Ask the Dust by John Fante, both of which have been essential to me the past few years, but I now own multiple copies. 
So again, no real rules, just say whatever you’d like and I’ll eventually pick from one of the comments and mail you these books free of charge and that will be that.
– Grant Maierhofer


  1. ♥ Enser ♥
  2. Patrick d

      like books like free stuff like people who can offer it to me

  3. Michael Valliant

      I’ve got time and beer. So much of both that I recently started Heidegger’s “Being and Time,” which doesn’t have much to say about beer. Damn. My reading and writing has thrown me down tangents. I’ve not read any of these books. I’ve heard of some, but not all. I’d like to imbibe them all and then wrestle with them. It’s been the summer of the search for freedom, and, of a sudden, a new job. In the meantime, books, ideas, fragments. And beer.

  4. Don

      I’d love the Hughes book.

  5. Janice Lee

  6. Chad Morgan

      I love you.

  7. Timmy Reed

      Dinosaurs are my favorite endangered species.

  8. Grant Maierhofer

      serious contender ;)

  9. Grant Maierhofer

      thank god

  10. Grant Maierhofer

      serious contender

  11. beachsloth

      I have read a handful of these in PDF form. Although I am a sloth and hang upside in a tree having a physical copy would be nice. That way I can show the tree I’m hanging on what he’ll soon become and the tree can feel happy that it has been sacrificed for a greater good.

  12. Mark Cugini

      me. you. naked.

  13. bemightee

      a friend of mine came over the other day for coffee. we hadn’t seen one another in a while and when the conversation hit a lull he got up and slowly started perusing my bookcase, head tilted to read the spines better. he looked up and said, ‘you know man its been too long, i feel like we don’t know each other’s libraries anymore.’

  14. mimi

      hey, i won a book with a carpenter’s video, so, you know, anything can happen

  15. Grant Maierhofer

      ALSO! I’m not sure that everyone will see this since it’s not technically a response comment to your beautiful comments thus far, but I’m going to pick a winner by tomorrow at 12 34 PM. I was going to let it go on longer but a surprising number of you lovebirds responded and I feel comfortable choosing one that soon. THANKS FOR PLAYING! I’LL POST THE WINNER IN THE COMMENTS TOMORROW! Also, multiple comments are totally fine!

  16. Rauan Klassnik

      i’d kill for Crow … save lives by giving me Crow.. seriously, seriously, i’m ready to go on a rampage,… Crow, Crow, give me the Crow !! ….

  17. Gordon

      i’ve just been informed that artists do not go to heaven. i just want to freaking thrash the place. i want to overdose in a basement in heaven. i want to pass out in the gutter in heaven and wake up not knowing where i am but it’ll be heaven. i want to break every bone in my body in heaven. i want to get real drunk and loud in heaven. i want to throw up at the pearly gates. i want to write dirty things on the walls in heaven. i want to go to heaven and i want to thrash it like a hotel room. i am the mood equivalent of a seizure.

  18. Mark Cugini

      aw bb. :(

  19. UncleIstvan

      I don’t have a job. I am paying my way through school right now using the last of a savings account my grandfather left to me when he died. He left me other things, a carved chest, a few suits, mysterious rings too large to wear covered in masonic symbols, jacketless hardcover books, but my father took all of those. I wasn’t told they had been left to me until years after the fact, when my father himself brought it up. He didn’t seem to understand why I was angry, and I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t as angry as I should have been. The only things I remember about my grandfather’s body are his hands, which only stopped shaking when he sat at his grand piano, and his large hooked nose, which I see growing in the mirror each day. I don’t know what happened to his piano.

      My father recently married an ex-student of his. She is friendly, down-to-earth, likeable. I remember her babysitting me as a child, when my parents were still married, and I like to think nothing was happening then, that she was my buddy. She is two years older than my sister. I remember holding my father’s hand at my grandfather’s funeral. He has not offered me anything in years but he bought some weed from me a few years ago. I haven’t lived with him in years, but I still put his address as my address in my taxes, because he gets a tax cut.

      I have 111 books in my Amazon shopping cart. My father gets me black socks every year for christmas, and a frisbee every year for my birthday. I don’t know how to ask for more.

  20. Quincy Rhoads

      I’m raising my baby off of free books.

  21. Mark Cugini

      Hey,this is sad, hit me up somewhere and i’ll send you some bookz.

  22. mimi

      Go to Heaven for the weather, Hell for the company.

      – Mark Twain

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  24. Grant Maierhofer

      i second what Mark said. regardless of this contest, if you email maierhofer dot grant at gmail i’ll put something together if you tell me some shit you like. i’m not saying one way or another whether this means you’ve won or not, or that anybody’s won yet, because that’s not the case, i just have extra copies of certain things and i like spreading the love however i can.

  25. deadgod

      […] Come, seeling Night,
      Skarfe vp the tender Eye of pittifull Day,
      And with thy bloodie and inuisible Hand
      Cancell and teare to pieces that great Bond,
      Which keepes me pale. Light thickens,
      And the Crow makes wing toth’ Rookie Wood:


  26. daneekasghost

      It sounds like shitty reverse psychology to say that I don’t expect to win this. There’s a reason for that. I’ve not heard of these, but most of my favorite books that I’ve read this year have come from recommendations or reviews on this site, so I’m doing an internet trust-fall into Mr. Maierhofer’s arms.

  27. Jeremy Hopkins

      No offense, but I’d strongly prefer you not have my home address. Perhaps we could arrange for a drop-off point?. If you don’t have a briefcase, I can mail you one free of charge and that will be that.

  28. bemightee

      *sniff sniff*

  29. Thomas

      If you feel, you’re healed.

  30. UncleIstvan

      Yes, pity gifts! I’m so used to the trollish uncaring internet. Why you be so nice?

      And everyone has issues with their parents, and he’s not that bad, I was just having one of those bitter introspective days. Having no money isn’t that bad, I just hang out at the library a lot and only buy books I know will take me a long time to read. But yeah I’d love to get some new independently published books, as public libraries rarely carry them.

  31. krysbeau

      i am obsessively self-absorbed and almost believe i actually deserve to have these books, but i don’t want to project that image to the internet or people i care about or even someone i make brief eye contact with as much as once on the subway who seems vaguely attractive.

      i want them to think instead: hey, this person is probably cool and down-to-earth and funny and maybe has done charity work (i’ve done charity work for reasons that were either “charity” or “seeming the opposite of ‘self-absorbed'” but looking back I dont know which reason for) and I accept them and affirm their experience and being as valid and worthy of love, even my love.

      in korea (where i have lived for exactly 11 months) it is not convenient or easy to find books in English. I have found 7. they are:
      -murakami’s norwegian wood (my introduction to him, which i stopped reading halfway through)
      -diaz’s brief and wondrous life of oscar wao (finished)
      -auster’s new york trilogy (read city of glass twice and lent it to a man who wanted to read it until i had sex with him and after that didn’t want to read it)
      -salinger’s catcher in the rye (gave to a student whose friends treated her cruelly because her english is good and it seemed like the right age)
      -huxley’s doors of perception (surrounding a tab of lsd given to me by a friend who explained “no, i wont touch the stuff” at a bar)
      -reines’ Coeur de lion (a copy of which i have at home in the states but forgot in the airport, and which i bought again because “what the book” said Mercury was out of print)
      -another book by a living author that i bought at least partially because the title referred to asia and i thought it would make me feel good and it does.

      I get to return home to california in one month. On my computer it says it is 7:07 am in California. By the time books shipped to Korea, I would be back in California where books wouldn’t be rare.

      I’m self-conscious that i may have spelled “Murakami” wrong but dont feel like I deserve to google it after carrying his book around for two or three weeks.

      My motives have changed from when I started this from trying to win books to just hoping whoever reads this doesn’t feel like I am, in the words of salinger in the words of holden caulfield, in the words of me playing hangman with 10 year olds, a “p_ _ _ _” .

  32. Grant Maierhofer

      ALRIGHT I’M POSTING THIS EARLY COS I’VE GOTTA GET AWAY FROM THE INTERNET, the winner of the contest is BEACH SLOOOOOTHHHHHH. I’m very glad everybody participated and it was the most fun in the world and if you email me I’ll probably send you free books from my bookshelf but as far as favorite comments go Beach’s took it. THANKS FOR PLAYING HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR.

  33. Grant Maierhofer

      Beach Sloth I am happy to inform you that you have won this contest. If you email me at Maierhofer dot Grant at Gmail then I will send you these books and you can do whatever you’d like to them, in your tree. i thank you for playing.

  34. Grant Maierhofer

      It was an incredibly difficult choice and yours was one of my favorites, I will give you free books if you want them.

  35. Grant Maierhofer

      Last night I thought i have this contest licked and knew who would win, then I saw a comment from RSB and had to rethink the entire universe. While the Sloth still won, I want to say that yours cheered me immensely.

  36. daneekasghost

      I think I sent you an email. Maybe two.

  37. bemightee

      what was it like eating lsd in korea? third eye-opening? whiteknuckle terror-inducing?

  38. Mary Van Note

      There are way better comments on this post than my I want free books comment.

  39. krysbeau

      it was one pretty old hit and a really subdued trip, but I climbed up Mt. Jiri and felt all the big boulders were my spirit father so I would say it was perfect for my purposes. Was just glad to have access to a drug that wasn’t alcohol or cigarettes for once.

  40. yuyu