May 20th, 2010 / 5:05 pm
Uncategorized

Yeah, I’m talking about this again

Though I’ve long since placed the Narrative Magazine email newsletter on my Spam list for their well documented stinky habits, I heard thru Twitter that apparently their $20 submission fees and multiple grants just quite weren’t footing their retarded-sized website bills, so now they are just laying on the floor and asking people for money. (“RT @beoliu: Narrative Magazine wants donations. Is there a way that I can laugh in the face of an e-mail?)

I went into my spam and got the letter, sweetly titled “What’s $10,” which I’ve copied after the jump, if you care.

In answer to @beoliu, I’ll offer you my personal response in the way of e-laughing, which I just sent their way, and totally encourage you to, too!

Dear Narrative Magazine,

Eat my motherfucking dick.

Love,
Blake

You can address your own dickspeak sentiments to editors@narrativemagazine.com.

PLEASE DONATE NOW

$10 IS NOT SO MUCH when you consider that Narrative publishes more fiction writers, poets, and artists than any other literary magazine—more than 300 authors and artists last year alone—and that we give our content away, free.

With Narrative’s $10 Campaign, one donation combined with many will provide much-needed support for our programs—and a resounding vote in favor of literature that changes and inspires our world. In these tough economic times, with funding for nonprofits down, we’re asking everyone who enjoys Narrative to participate.

We need you.

$10 from every reader will help Narrative sustain a lean staff of technicians, editors, and copyeditors, plus pay the authors, artists, and cartoonists who make every issue possible.

And as our way of saying thanks, when you donate $10 or more, your name will be entered into a drawing to receive a gift selection from the Narrative hard-copy library.

So what’s $10? It’s a world of stories—every day, every week, all year long in Narrative.

Won’t you join us in awakening hearts and minds around the world to the power of literature?

Narrative is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization, and all donations are tax-deductible.

“It is difficult to get the news from poems, yet men die miserably every day for lack of what is found there.”
—William Carlos Williams

Tags:

111 Comments

  1. jereme

      somewhere a care bear is drowning.

  2. Lily Hoang

      A bowl of dicks. God bless Aimee Mann and Ice-T.

  3. Chris

      somewhere WCW is saying “Hey, wha’happened?”

  4. Matthew Simmons

      Also:

      If you would like to leave our announcement list, you may do so by
      sending an email with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the message.

      When I get messages from NARRATIVE, this text is in light gray on a white background at the bottom.

  5. Tim

      Wonderful.

  6. robert

      What’s $10? That could purchase an issue of a lit journal that doesn’t ripe writers off.

      P.S. I unsubscribed long ago.

  7. Amber

      It doesn’t matter. I’ve unsubscribed like a hundred million times, and yet I still continue to get those goddamned emails. Including this one, which I think made my Kix jump out of my mouth.

  8. demi-puppet

      I have no idea why I get this newsletter, but, yeah, that email kind of stuck in my craw. What’s $10? Quite a lot to me, a broke student.

  9. jereme
  10. jereme

      “feed a child like jamal…”

  11. robert

      … er, I of course meant rip, not ripe. That’s what I get for using my phone to comment. Also, strange to hear others are having trouble unsubscribing. Maybe you should publicly piss them off. It worked for me!

  12. Henry Vauban

      someone made an incredible website. it’s called eatabowlofdick.com. i suggest you send people there. i know. it is a shame the site is not called eatabowlofdicks.com, because, alas, there is more than one dick in a bowl of dick if the bowl is properly arranged… but, until someone else decides they want to be the owner of the eatabowlofdick(s) website, we will just have to live with the singular. lifeisabitchsometimesbutnotreallycoseverythingseemstoworkoutidontknowifitsjustmeorwhatorifEpiphenomenalismistrueornotbutwhothefuckcaresattheendoftheday.com

      i love u internets

  13. Henry Vauban

      yo, ur html did a hackjob on my new website: whatgivesuamatureasssbloggypeopleiloveubutwhycantigivemycoollinks.com

  14. Blake Butler

      ditto

  15. Henry Vauban

      imadeabatchofcoookiesareuhungry.northkoreaiscool.everythingforeveryon.workersparadise.com

  16. Mike Meginnis

      Narrative Magazine: the Magazine that Ate Blake Butler’s Motherfucking Dick.

  17. Gene Morgan

      So excited about the farting keyboard.

  18. Matthew Simmons

      damn. i thought it was just cleverly hidden.

  19. jereme

      gene we are on the same page. at first, i thought my appropriate fart keyboard use time window had expired. it may have.

      i don’t care.

      totally want the fart keyboard for my birthday.

  20. Joy Lanzendorfer

      Thank you. I also made the stupid mistake of giving Narrative my e-mail and they send e-mail to my spam box every day. And yeah, why do they need $10 when they already charge people to submit to their crappy magazine? Have people finally caught on and stopped submitting?

      They are scam.

  21. Nathan (Nate) Tyree

      I have unsubscribed every time they sent me an email. I still get ’em.

  22. burbur

      People should *theoretically* stop submitting…but people want to get published in Narrative. I would never submit because I think reading fees for magazines are stupid (when the majority of better magazines allow writers to submit for free).

      The important question is why Narrative has been given credibility (and, in a larger sense, why any particular magazine achieves cultural capital with a particular aesthetic/group, as has occurred with McSweeneys and similar mags).

      The short answer for Narrative is likely that they publish several big names (Rick Bass, Robert Olen Butler, Bausch, etc.) next to small names (who likely are the only one actually submitting and paying for those submissions), and the juxtaposition (established versus “emerging”) creates a superficially enticing market for submitters.

      And, much like Glimmer Train, they have discovered that the concept of continuous contests makes nearly every submitter feel like a potential winner. And then submitting to literary magazines becomes like buying scratch offs.

      Give 10 bucks to a charity. Or, if you don’t feel like being nice, give it to a Cocker Spaniel who, if they vomit the bill, would be creating something better than Narrative’s level of honesty.

  23. Sean

      I’m not sure any HTML reader or commenter, etc wants to be in Narrative. I mean it gets to Glimmer Stain level. Red Rum.

      How many Thanksgiving dinners where you go “I am sitting down following rules I do not believe in” and still attend?

      A few. 2 many, maybe.

      Then you mature. And that seat is not taken by your ass.

      Just blow off these fucks.

      2.4 cents

  24. jereme

      somewhere a care bear is drowning.

  25. lily hoang

      A bowl of dicks. God bless Aimee Mann and Ice-T.

  26. Chris

      somewhere WCW is saying “Hey, wha’happened?”

  27. Matthew Simmons

      Also:

      If you would like to leave our announcement list, you may do so by
      sending an email with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the message.

      When I get messages from NARRATIVE, this text is in light gray on a white background at the bottom.

  28. Tim

      Wonderful.

  29. robert

      What’s $10? That could purchase an issue of a lit journal that doesn’t ripe writers off.

      P.S. I unsubscribed long ago.

  30. Amber

      It doesn’t matter. I’ve unsubscribed like a hundred million times, and yet I still continue to get those goddamned emails. Including this one, which I think made my Kix jump out of my mouth.

  31. demi-puppet

      I have no idea why I get this newsletter, but, yeah, that email kind of stuck in my craw. What’s $10? Quite a lot to me, a broke student.

  32. gavin pate

      God, I feel so less lonely knowing I’m not the only person who has Narrative overwhelming his junkmail. And the Richard Bausch thing in the linked thread is my number one moment of the day.

  33. jereme
  34. jereme

      “feed a child like jamal…”

  35. robert

      … er, I of course meant rip, not ripe. That’s what I get for using my phone to comment. Also, strange to hear others are having trouble unsubscribing. Maybe you should publicly piss them off. It worked for me!

  36. Guest

      someone made an incredible website. it’s called eatabowlofdick.com. i suggest you send people there. i know. it is a shame the site is not called eatabowlofdicks.com, because, alas, there is more than one dick in a bowl of dick if the bowl is properly arranged… but, until someone else decides they want to be the owner of the eatabowlofdick(s) website, we will just have to live with the singular. lifeisabitchsometimesbutnotreallycoseverythingseemstoworkoutidontknowifitsjustmeorwhatorifEpiphenomenalismistrueornotbutwhothefuckcaresattheendoftheday.com

      i love u internets

  37. Guest

      yo, ur html did a hackjob on my new website: whatgivesuamatureasssbloggypeopleiloveubutwhycantigivemycoollinks.com

  38. Blake Butler

      ditto

  39. Guest

      imadeabatchofcoookiesareuhungry.northkoreaiscool.everythingforeveryon.workersparadise.com

  40. Mike Meginnis

      Narrative Magazine: the Magazine that Ate Blake Butler’s Motherfucking Dick.

  41. Gene Morgan

      So excited about the farting keyboard.

  42. Matthew Simmons

      damn. i thought it was just cleverly hidden.

  43. jereme

      gene we are on the same page. at first, i thought my appropriate fart keyboard use time window had expired. it may have.

      i don’t care.

      totally want the fart keyboard for my birthday.

  44. Joy Lanzendorfer

      Thank you. I also made the stupid mistake of giving Narrative my e-mail and they send e-mail to my spam box every day. And yeah, why do they need $10 when they already charge people to submit to their crappy magazine? Have people finally caught on and stopped submitting?

      They are scam.

  45. Nathan (Nate) Tyree

      I have unsubscribed every time they sent me an email. I still get ’em.

  46. Max

      Oh I am so glad I can ditch you guys from twitter and never hear from you again. A farting typewriter, how cool! How funny! Your bitching was a waste of my time, and I was hoping for so much from your occupied space. It was not until Joy’s comment that I got mad at the rip-off site–she gave a good reason! A nonprofit mag asking for money is not on its face reprehensible. It is for a “nonprofit” mag that charges people for submitting material.

      They of course never got my email address and won’t (unless you send it to them).

      The farting typewriter, hahaha, you guys kill me.

  47. Matt K

      After unsubscribing unsuccessfully about five times I sent them an angry email via their ‘Contact Us’ form on their website (Choosing ‘Technical Difficulties’) threatening to report them for non-compliance with the CAN-SPAM act (for not promptly removing me from their mailing list as requested.) I got a personal email from their web guy who was super nice and apologetic, claiming that I just needed to ‘unsubscribe’ via their invisible link at the bottom of their emails – when I explained how many times I’d done this, he investigated and found that I was on some OTHER list (that he said was their list of university-affiliated email addresses or some-such) that for whatever reason I could not unsubscribe myself from. He removed me from all their lists, and now, my mailbox is free of Narrative magazine emails.

      More on the CAN-SPAM act here:
      http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/business/ecommerce/bus61.shtm

  48. burbur

      People should *theoretically* stop submitting…but people want to get published in Narrative. I would never submit because I think reading fees for magazines are stupid (when the majority of better magazines allow writers to submit for free).

      The important question is why Narrative has been given credibility (and, in a larger sense, why any particular magazine achieves cultural capital with a particular aesthetic/group, as has occurred with McSweeneys and similar mags).

      The short answer for Narrative is likely that they publish several big names (Rick Bass, Robert Olen Butler, Bausch, etc.) next to small names (who likely are the only one actually submitting and paying for those submissions), and the juxtaposition (established versus “emerging”) creates a superficially enticing market for submitters.

      And, much like Glimmer Train, they have discovered that the concept of continuous contests makes nearly every submitter feel like a potential winner. And then submitting to literary magazines becomes like buying scratch offs.

      Give 10 bucks to a charity. Or, if you don’t feel like being nice, give it to a Cocker Spaniel who, if they vomit the bill, would be creating something better than Narrative’s level of honesty.

  49. Sean

      I’m not sure any HTML reader or commenter, etc wants to be in Narrative. I mean it gets to Glimmer Stain level. Red Rum.

      How many Thanksgiving dinners where you go “I am sitting down following rules I do not believe in” and still attend?

      A few. 2 many, maybe.

      Then you mature. And that seat is not taken by your ass.

      Just blow off these fucks.

      2.4 cents

  50. gavin pate

      God, I feel so less lonely knowing I’m not the only person who has Narrative overwhelming his junkmail. And the Richard Bausch thing in the linked thread is my number one moment of the day.

  51. Massive(ly Stupid) Attack

      […] Dude sells his book to a com­pany kept afloat by Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, but he can’t abide a non-​profit lit­er­ary mag­a­zine asking for dona­tions. Yes, I’m biased. But […]

  52. Max

      Oh I am so glad I can ditch you guys from twitter and never hear from you again. A farting typewriter, how cool! How funny! Your bitching was a waste of my time, and I was hoping for so much from your occupied space. It was not until Joy’s comment that I got mad at the rip-off site–she gave a good reason! A nonprofit mag asking for money is not on its face reprehensible. It is for a “nonprofit” mag that charges people for submitting material.

      They of course never got my email address and won’t (unless you send it to them).

      The farting typewriter, hahaha, you guys kill me.

  53. Matt K

      After unsubscribing unsuccessfully about five times I sent them an angry email via their ‘Contact Us’ form on their website (Choosing ‘Technical Difficulties’) threatening to report them for non-compliance with the CAN-SPAM act (for not promptly removing me from their mailing list as requested.) I got a personal email from their web guy who was super nice and apologetic, claiming that I just needed to ‘unsubscribe’ via their invisible link at the bottom of their emails – when I explained how many times I’d done this, he investigated and found that I was on some OTHER list (that he said was their list of university-affiliated email addresses or some-such) that for whatever reason I could not unsubscribe myself from. He removed me from all their lists, and now, my mailbox is free of Narrative magazine emails.

      More on the CAN-SPAM act here:
      http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/business/ecommerce/bus61.shtm

  54. Integrity & Moral Might

      […] The Honorable Blake Butler’s integrity has been called into question twice in recent hours. Before the hordes are unleashed by Giant’s core cadre, let us examine what’s taking place. […]

  55. jereme

      “massively stupid attack”

      lol

  56. Isabella

      I think that 99% of their “readers” have relegated them to the spam box. I, too, have tried to unsubscribe but discovered that they are Hotel California (as in “you can check out any time you like/but you can never leave”).

  57. jereme

      “massively stupid attack”

      lol

  58. Isabella

      I think that 99% of their “readers” have relegated them to the spam box. I, too, have tried to unsubscribe but discovered that they are Hotel California (as in “you can check out any time you like/but you can never leave”).

  59. phm

      So in order to circumvent you guys pouncing on someone with a differing opinion, all I have to do is predict that you will pounce on the person with a differing opinion?

      Too easy.

  60. phm

      Prevent, not circumvent.

  61. phm

      *prevent you guys from

  62. Stephen

      I volunteer at a small press here in town, and I’ve never heard of reading / submission fees. Until now. $20? That shit BLOWS my mind. Yeah right. Champ, chomp, chump.

  63. robert

      Why don’t you put your money where your big mouth is. Donate $10 to Narrative. No, better yet. Donate $100. Show us just how cool you are.

  64. phm

      So in order to circumvent you guys pouncing on someone with a differing opinion, all I have to do is predict that you will pounce on the person with a differing opinion?

      Too easy.

  65. phm

      Prevent, not circumvent.

  66. phm

      *prevent you guys from

  67. Stephen

      I volunteer at a small press here in town, and I’ve never heard of reading / submission fees. Until now. $20? That shit BLOWS my mind. Yeah right. Champ, chomp, chump.

  68. robert

      Why don’t you put your money where your big mouth is. Donate $10 to Narrative. No, better yet. Donate $100. Show us just how cool you are.

  69. phm

      What money?

  70. phm

      Also, robert, where the fuck is my mouth right now? I thought it was cool that someone came out of nowhere with a silver bullet. And does Butler speak up for himself, say THIS IS WHO I AM TO SAY THIS?

      Nope, and why would he?

      “IRL” he’s such a sweet guy. It’s all just a front. He’s a really good friend of mine, Paul, I’ve met him three times.

  71. phm

      What money?

  72. phm

      Also, robert, where the fuck is my mouth right now? I thought it was cool that someone came out of nowhere with a silver bullet. And does Butler speak up for himself, say THIS IS WHO I AM TO SAY THIS?

      Nope, and why would he?

      “IRL” he’s such a sweet guy. It’s all just a front. He’s a really good friend of mine, Paul, I’ve met him three times.

  73. Tony O'Neill

      yeah i thought that ‘massively stupid attack/ post was massively stupid. i posted this comment over there (pasted below), because i’m so sick of assholes thinking that just because you publish on a major you’re not supposed to have opinions on this shit any more. after all, unlike sarah palin or glen beck, i never got no 3 million dollar advance, and i’m still as broke as fuck until one of my books sells a million copies….

      (comment at digitalmunction)

      As another writer who has “his book to a com­pany kept afloat by Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin” I’d say that’s a pretty silly reason to dismiss Blake’s point. After all I’m sure Blake – like me – couldn’t give two monkeys farts about Palin or Beck, of even that old bastard Murdoch who bankrolls the whole thing. Neither, I’m sure, do Blake’s editors, publicists, or anyone else that he works with over at Harper Perennial.

      However, here in the real word a young writer trying to get his book out there is pretty fucking unlikely to say, “no thank you, major publishing company, I cant allow you to publish my work because you also publish some real assholes.”

      If I – or anyone else – was only willing to publish at a place where they personally liked and approved of every other author the house also published, then they’d pretty much have to start up their own company and only publish themselves and their friends. Why? Because most people ARE assholes, even if it is not on the hellishly big scale of a Beck, Murdoch or a Palin. But just because Blake has made a decision that hey – maybe he’d like some people to be able to walk into a bookstore and, y’know, buy one of his books, does not mean that he is somehow not allowed to have an opinion when it comes to places like Narrative magazine. After all, plenty of smaller and more indie venues than narrative dont feel the need to charge people ten bucks when they submit. Just sayin’, but then again…. I guess I’m biased too. (arent we all?)

  74. Blake Butler

      <3 tony

  75. robert

      In reply to phm — because I can’t seem to keep the tread going with more replies — I can’t make sense of any of that. Are you saying *I’m* a good friend of Blake’s? I’ve never met him. But it seems like you’re defending Narrative’s business practices. What Narrative does is a scam, plain and simple. They charge writers an outrageous amount to submit to there to begin with, and now they’re also asking for donations. It’s ridiculous. So all I’m saying is, if you don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, donate.

  76. Tony O'Neill

      yeah i thought that ‘massively stupid attack/ post was massively stupid. i posted this comment over there (pasted below), because i’m so sick of assholes thinking that just because you publish on a major you’re not supposed to have opinions on this shit any more. after all, unlike sarah palin or glen beck, i never got no 3 million dollar advance, and i’m still as broke as fuck until one of my books sells a million copies….

      (comment at digitalmunction)

      As another writer who has “his book to a com­pany kept afloat by Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin” I’d say that’s a pretty silly reason to dismiss Blake’s point. After all I’m sure Blake – like me – couldn’t give two monkeys farts about Palin or Beck, of even that old bastard Murdoch who bankrolls the whole thing. Neither, I’m sure, do Blake’s editors, publicists, or anyone else that he works with over at Harper Perennial.

      However, here in the real word a young writer trying to get his book out there is pretty fucking unlikely to say, “no thank you, major publishing company, I cant allow you to publish my work because you also publish some real assholes.”

      If I – or anyone else – was only willing to publish at a place where they personally liked and approved of every other author the house also published, then they’d pretty much have to start up their own company and only publish themselves and their friends. Why? Because most people ARE assholes, even if it is not on the hellishly big scale of a Beck, Murdoch or a Palin. But just because Blake has made a decision that hey – maybe he’d like some people to be able to walk into a bookstore and, y’know, buy one of his books, does not mean that he is somehow not allowed to have an opinion when it comes to places like Narrative magazine. After all, plenty of smaller and more indie venues than narrative dont feel the need to charge people ten bucks when they submit. Just sayin’, but then again…. I guess I’m biased too. (arent we all?)

  77. Blake Butler

      <3 tony

  78. Boyd Nielson

      I’ll probably regret even engaging in this nonissue, so this is the only comment I’ll make here on the matter: what is the point of focusing all this bluster and vitriol on Narrative? Why announce publicy that you have emailed the magazine (and why encourage others to email it) with nasty and childish put downs? I don’t endorse or defend Narrative’s reading fee, though probably it is true that the reading fee is meant to discourage contributions, not to scam people. But even if that is not true, at best Blake’s critique is like Foetry 2.0. That is to say, the horizon of both struggles is identical. Let’s imagine that Narrative suddenly got rid of its twenty dollar fee. (I won’t ask us to imagine that it stopped asking for money because it is, after all, a nonprofit.) Let’s imagine also, just for the hell of it and since we’re on a roll, not just that all poetry contests were fair and transparent but also that they were abolished. The literary (and what Tony calls the “real”) world would remain massively unjust—and not just because, say, Harper or the Poetry Foundation wipe their ass with far more money than Narrative will ever see. More important and above all, the social mechanisms that made those things possible in the first place would be untouched. I don’t begrudge anyone his or her opinions on Narrative, least of all Blake. Have at it. But no one here should pretend that a rhetorically charged campaign against Narrative’s “documented stinky habits” (which habits, it seems, come down to the shockingly offensive sins of charging reading fees for unsolicited work, failing to remove people from its email list, asking for donations, and paying its webmaster what webmasters get paid) should be seen as anything more than a tempest in a teapot, or, to put it another way, an example of the kind of hobbyhorses poets and others love to get worked up about, on the one hand, even as they, on the other, remain mostly indifferent to and uninterested in the social relations that structure actual exploitation.

  79. phm

      What if 20 people threw in a buck and we submitted a story by one of the writers and saw what kind of feedback we got back? See if the price was worth the critique? They do still promise thorough responses, right?

  80. phm

      Seems like?

      Prove it with a quote, man. Shit.

  81. phm

      Oh and I was just testing your density levels.

      It was something someone said not long ago and it suddenly came to mind.

  82. robert

      You’d be lucky if they spelled your name right in the form letter.

  83. robert

      In reply to phm — because I can’t seem to keep the tread going with more replies — I can’t make sense of any of that. Are you saying *I’m* a good friend of Blake’s? I’ve never met him. But it seems like you’re defending Narrative’s business practices. What Narrative does is a scam, plain and simple. They charge writers an outrageous amount to submit to there to begin with, and now they’re also asking for donations. It’s ridiculous. So all I’m saying is, if you don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, donate.

  84. phm

      Why not publish that form letter you’ve gotten?

  85. robert

      I don’t have a form letter. I think the one time I subbed to them it was for one of their contests and they just contacted the winners. I would never submit to them for their open submissions. And while this has been fun, I’m done playing with you. Take care.

  86. Boyd Nielson

      I’ll probably regret even engaging in this nonissue, so this is the only comment I’ll make here on the matter: what is the point of focusing all this bluster and vitriol on Narrative? Why announce publicy that you have emailed the magazine (and why encourage others to email it) with nasty and childish put downs? I don’t endorse or defend Narrative’s reading fee, though probably it is true that the reading fee is meant to discourage contributions, not to scam people. But even if that is not true, at best Blake’s critique is like Foetry 2.0. That is to say, the horizon of both struggles is identical. Let’s imagine that Narrative suddenly got rid of its twenty dollar fee. (I won’t ask us to imagine that it stopped asking for money because it is, after all, a nonprofit.) Let’s imagine also, just for the hell of it and since we’re on a roll, not just that all poetry contests were fair and transparent but also that they were abolished. The literary (and what Tony calls the “real”) world would remain massively unjust—and not just because, say, Harper or the Poetry Foundation wipe their ass with far more money than Narrative will ever see. More important and above all, the social mechanisms that made those things possible in the first place would be untouched. I don’t begrudge anyone his or her opinions on Narrative, least of all Blake. Have at it. But no one here should pretend that a rhetorically charged campaign against Narrative’s “documented stinky habits” (which habits, it seems, come down to the shockingly offensive sins of charging reading fees for unsolicited work, failing to remove people from its email list, asking for donations, and paying its webmaster what webmasters get paid) should be seen as anything more than a tempest in a teapot, or, to put it another way, an example of the kind of hobbyhorses poets and others love to get worked up about, on the one hand, even as they, on the other, remain mostly indifferent to and uninterested in the social relations that structure actual exploitation.

  87. phm

      What if 20 people threw in a buck and we submitted a story by one of the writers and saw what kind of feedback we got back? See if the price was worth the critique? They do still promise thorough responses, right?

  88. phm

      Seems like?

      Prove it with a quote, man. Shit.

  89. phm

      Oh and I was just testing your density levels.

      It was something someone said not long ago and it suddenly came to mind.

  90. robert

      You’d be lucky if they spelled your name right in the form letter.

  91. phm

      Why not publish that form letter you’ve gotten?

  92. robert

      I don’t have a form letter. I think the one time I subbed to them it was for one of their contests and they just contacted the winners. I would never submit to them for their open submissions. And while this has been fun, I’m done playing with you. Take care.

  93. phm

      Fewer and fewer people on this website hear the words coming off their own fingers. Maybe it’s on its last legs again.

  94. phm

      Blake Butler is a punk bitch who never defends himself. This is an ad hom attack.

      Encyclopedia HTMLGIANTICA.

  95. zusya

      there’s an app for that

  96. zusya

      Please Hate Me?

  97. phm

      Fewer and fewer people on this website hear the words coming off their own fingers. Maybe it’s on its last legs again.

  98. phm

      Blake Butler is a punk bitch who never defends himself. This is an ad hom attack.

      Encyclopedia HTMLGIANTICA.

  99. Paul

      Why don’t you go make another anti-html giant video and post it on YouTube? Please continue to share your drool-worthy omniscience with us, Paul! Your last video was simply “madoreable”–and your blog has absolutely changed my life. You are clearly one of the greatest writers of our time!

      (Did I mention how awesome your haircut is?–SO awesome!)

      You are miles ahead of someone like Blake Butler, Paul. MILES. The imagery in your writing is absolutely mastabatory.

      When I read your piece, “Death Is Punk,” you really changed the way I think about newspaper barons. When I read your piece, “This Post Isn’t A Grand Statement Of My Generation,” I simply agreed with you. When I tried to read your interviews with people like Heather Christle and Molly Gaudry, I couldn’t get over how awesome it was that you used Scribd to legitimize their authenticity. Good call, PHM.

  100. Paul

      Oh Madore, you’re no bore! Your puns are unforgettable . . . really.

      “Encyclopedia HTMLGIANTICA”

      Blake Butler would have never thought of anything THAT brilliant.

  101. phm

      Masturbatory.

      “Dead is Punk.”

  102. Paul Cunningham

      Why don’t you go make another anti-html giant video and post it on YouTube? Please continue to share your drool-worthy omniscience with us, Paul! Your last video was simply “madoreable”–and your blog has absolutely changed my life. You are clearly one of the greatest writers of our time!

      (Did I mention how awesome your haircut is?–SO awesome!)

      You are miles ahead of someone like Blake Butler, Paul. MILES. The imagery in your writing is absolutely mastabatory.

      When I read your piece, “Death Is Punk,” you really changed the way I think about newspaper barons. When I read your piece, “This Post Isn’t A Grand Statement Of My Generation,” I simply agreed with you. When I tried to read your interviews with people like Heather Christle and Molly Gaudry, I couldn’t get over how awesome it was that you used Scribd to legitimize their authenticity. Good call, PHM.

  103. Paul Cunningham

      Oh Madore, you’re no bore! Your puns are unforgettable . . . really.

      “Encyclopedia HTMLGIANTICA”

      Blake Butler would have never thought of anything THAT brilliant.

  104. phm

      Masturbatory.

      “Dead is Punk.”

  105. phm

      I think it’s possible that this “Paul” character is the most highly evolved spam robot the internet has yet seen. Next he’ll be emulating musicians.

  106. phm

      I think it’s possible that this “Paul” character is the most highly evolved spam robot the internet has yet seen. Next he’ll be emulating musicians.

  107. Sean Carman

      He wrote a pretty good response to your post.

  108. Sean Carman

      He wrote a pretty good response to your post.

  109. ce.

      Under the CAN-SPAM Act, you can report them to the FTC for not complying with your unsubscribe requests. They’re required to comply within 10-days of your request. If enough people file complaints, the FTC could launch an investigation to enforce it.

      https://www.ftccomplaintassistant.gov/

  110. ce.

      Under the CAN-SPAM Act, you can report them to the FTC for not complying with your unsubscribe requests. They’re required to comply within 10-days of your request. If enough people file complaints, the FTC could launch an investigation to enforce it.

      https://www.ftccomplaintassistant.gov/

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