Mother of a Machine Gun
by Michael J. Seidlinger
Lazy Fascist Press, 2014
100 pages / $7.95 buy from Amazon
1. When I first read the title, I pondered the possibility of an automatic weapon being successfully birthed from a woman’s vagina. (Pretty sure your genitalia would never be the same.)
2. The writing style of Mother of a Machine Gun reminded me of some strange Dr. Seuss book I read as a child.
3. Michael J. Seidlinger is a fucked up Dr. Seuss.
4. Kind of wonder if Seidlinger’s mother has read Mother of a Machine Gun and whether or not she thought it should be “critically acclaimed.”
5. Pondered the economic and environmental costs of having so many one-line paragraphs.
6. To go along with point #5, probably should’ve put in pictures or something to fill in the vast amount of white space.
7. To go along with points #5 and #6, the vast amount of white space and one-line paragraphs make for a quick read. (Could be a positive or negative thing depending on whether or not you like the book.)
8. Mother of a Machine Gun is a story of denial.
9. Mother sucks at being a mother.
10. Mother probably shouldn’t be left to go on a crusade to find her son.
11. Mother and Matthew have terrible communication skills that should’ve been addressed by a family counselor.
12. This book reminded me of the movie We Need to Talk About Kevin. (Pretty much is a Michael J. Seidlinger version of We Need to Talk About Kevin only less disturbing.)
13. (Insert incredibly dark, insensitive joke about school shootings.)
14. Mother of a Machine Gun is a story for fathers, too.
15. While writing this review I drank a glass of whiskey and listened to heavy metal. (Seidlinger probably did the same while writing this book.)
16. So many bullet casings, so little time.
17. The cover of this book made me think the story was going to be about a Mexican gang war. (There’s an idea for your next book, Michael.)
18. Mother needs to keep her shit together.
19. This book made me question whether or not I should have children someday.
20. Mother of a Machine Gun is a love story.
23. (Points #21 and #22 were to, again, reiterate how much fucking white space there is in this book.)
24. Kind of wanted everyone to die in this book because who cares.
25. (Insert some bullshit, overly poetic praise for this book that is generally vague and truly says nothing because the person praising is scraping at the bottom of the barrel in attempt to find something positive to say about a book they’re pretty much indifferent about.)