November 4th, 2010 / 5:38 pm

5 vanish cat and countercat

11. The “Star Whackers” are a group of assassins who hunt down and kill Hollywood celebrities. Q: Where do we donate?

2. Before her cure, she was holed up in her château dictating one much-worked-on line a day to Andréa, who would type it up. Then they would start uncorking cheap Bordeaux and she’d drink two glasses, vomit, then continue on till she’d drunk as many as nine liters and would pass out. She could no longer walk, or scarcely. She said she drank because she knew God did not exist. Her very sympathetic doctor would visit her almost daily and offer to take her to the hospital, but only if she wanted to live. She seemed undecided for a long time but at last she opted for life since she was determined to finish a book that she’d already started and was very keen about.

1414. Soft Skull Press is sort of dead, I guess.

9. The correct number of beer (s) to drink before a public reading? (You are reading.)

5. I didn’t know The S.C.U.M (Society for Cutting Up Men) manifesto was online. It is. Here you go:

It is now technically feasible to reproduce without the aid of males (or, for that matter, females) and to produce only females. We must begin immediately to do so.

Women, in other words, don’t have penis envy; men have pussy envy.

SCUM will couple-bust — barge into mixed (male-female) couples, wherever they are, and bust them up.

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  1. Richard Thomas

      Total bummer on SS. Wow. That makes me sad.

  2. mjm

      9.) Depends on the beer of course. A couple of Steel Reserves and you won’t realize you’re reading or you’ll think you’re reading to a rubber plant and its okay.

      11.) Sperm bank.

      1414.) Back in high school you were always trying to write stuff that you’d think would be published by Soft skull. This ‘you’ consists purely of me. Because none of my friends were writers.

      9.) But maybe a beer with middle of the road alc levels. Like arrogant bastard. Or a six pack of Blue Moon. A sixer of Blue Moon is likely to get you buzzin but you have to kill all of them right quick. Its 5.7 per bottle.

      I just noticed man… Denise Oswald looks like she could be Ashley Blue’s mother….

  3. Mike Meginnis

      I tried to write a post-apocalyptic novel in response to the SCUM manifesto, but it didn’t really work out.

  4. Michael Hemmingson

      the end of soft skull, pretty much…weird they do not mention that it began as a micro press in a basement run by sander hicks…of course sander did embezzle a lot of money and mishandled things so the board took it over. never a good thing when the company you create is taken from you by a board, i have seen it happen a lot. i just got my royalty check for my 2001 tritle, a whopping amount that will buy me a whopper, but hey as richard nash once told me, at least my book still sold some copies each year unlike others that never moved a unit.

      charlie winton is a good, smart guy. avalon published a lot of my books aznd afew were orphaned when avalon went kaput.

  5. Janey Smith

      Valerie Solanas is my mother.

  6. smart dumbguy

      man, i worked for hicks when he started vox pop. it was okay for a while, but he increasingly became megalomaniacal and alienated everyone around him (he fired me, i had to take him to court to get my unemployment benefits). later i found out he squandered tens of thousands of other people’s dollars and was forcibly removed from the operations of that company. he always had internet searches going for his name, so he’ll likely see this.

  7. smart dumbguy

      oh, and he used to rant about Nash, too.
      from a basement.
      while (likely) embezzling money.
      so that makes at least two companies he’s founded and been removed from by the respective boards.

  8. herocious
  9. Sean

      She shot more people that Andy, yo.

      Did he press charges?



  10. mimi

      2. “Before her cure” – I thought “”Rhys” – but then “she was holed up in her château” – I thought “No, Rhys didn’t have a chateau”

  11. mimi

      * ” not “”

  12. Sean

      what does this mean?

  13. mimi

      When I read “2. Before her cure,” I instantly thought “this must be something about Jean Rhys” but an instant later when I read “she was holed up in her chateau” I thought “No, this isn’t something about Jean Rhys because I can’t believe she ever had a chateau/Rhys didn’t have a chateau”

      Then I clicked on the link and saw it was about Marguerite Duras.

      So alls I’m saying is I immediately thought it was about Jean Rhys getting a cure and a split second later my brain argued “No, she didn’t get a cure, she didn’t have a chateau”.

      Something like that.

  14. gavin

      I think one bomber’s worth of Arogant Bastard should make for a nice reading.

  15. gavin

      Even better is Arrogant Bastard

  16. Ryan

      9. Two pints of Yuengling with a shot of whiskey in each.

  17. Sean

      got it

  18. or here

      Sick of writing without caps at the beginning of sentences and lower case i.