November 19th, 2011 / 8:56 am

What do you do on Saturdays between waking up hungover/alone and going out/drinking?


  1. Lucy Maddox

      Drink, usually.

  2. Craig Ronald Marchinkoski

      write and play with cats

  3. Randalp

      As soon as I wake up I take a handful of sleeping pills because being awake is a total drag.

  4. sorry4thewait!

      Madden ’12

  5. FormerCity


  6. Frank Tas, the Raptor

      Write, terrible shit, masturbate, but normally not in that order.

  7. michael

      read books and drink coffee yeah god bless us everyone

  8. shaun gannon

      i didn’t wake up alone B)

  9. Anonymous

      comment on the internet

  10. Anonymous

      damn, i can’t ‘like’ my own comment

  11. Sal Pane

      I went to a flea market and tried to buy an Intellivision II but they didn’t have the adapters.

  12. Sal Pane
  13. Leapsloth14

      Read. Read on the front porch. Or I usually go for a long run. Or I go down to the local bar and watch the drunks drink their wake-up drinks (usually bloody Marys) and then I have a beer and watch college football. Or maybe I wait for that guy who comes at noon and makes the free pizza. Or maybe walk down the hill to the library and read Jim Harrison novels.

  14. Dude

      feel regret.

  15. MJ

      go to the studio. then write. then drink some more. then maybe smoke a joint.

  16. MJ

      So just all at the same time then?

  17. Frank Tas, the Raptor

      Shitting with an erection is hard (ha), but I guess also you still got one hand for typing.

  18. Chris Hershey-Van Horn

      drink coffee, go to my room & open a new microsoft word do for my thesis/essay/whatever I should have started working on last week but didn’t and then pretend to work as I type comments on HTML giant and scroll through tumblr and style blogs

  19. Frank Tas, the Raptor

      haha “write terrible shit”

  20. drew kalbach

      i watch college football. art is silly.

  21. Anonymous

      stare at the walls, moan, repeatedly make declarations that i’m taking a break from drinking and drugs

  22. John

      Try to remember how many pages in a book I read last night. Look for
      things. Clean. Check account balances online. Think about reading a
      book, but don’t read it. Go skateboarding, then fear for the health of
      throat after gasping down such dry cold air. Drink soy milk on an empty

  23. Tyler Christensen

      read others’ ambiguous narrative. drink coffee until i’m high off coffee. write ambiguous narrative. revise ambiguous narrative. avoid ambiguous narrative by counting down the hours to getting drunk, again. when drunk talk about ambiguous narrative with ambiguous friends who don’t give a fuck. drink more.

  24. Leapsloth14

      Sounds like a good day to me.

  25. Corey Zeller

      I spill little people from my eyes.  They steal.

  26. MJ

      My God I love what all of you do with your Saturdays. Seriously.

  27. Frank Tas, the Raptor

      MJ you write music? I saw the studio reference. Got a site or something?

  28. bartleby_taco


  29. Frank Tas, the Raptor

      I missed something huh

  30. 'Guillaume Morissette'

      thought, ‘I am meta’ after reading this post in the exact state being described.

  31. David Fishkind

      i tweeted for about an hour, torrented and proceeded to watch ‘melancholia,’ typed all the lyrics to the mountain goats’ ‘sweden,’ took the subway to a bar, ate a hamburger, and split a pitcher of beer with my pal, then took the subway home and then it was about 10pm and i planned to go to another bar and now it is about 2am and all i did was sit around in my friend’s apartment eating sunflower seeds

  32. werdfert

      1. remove skin of kentucky fried chicken, 2. place skin on face, 3. wake up small child in closet, 4. say “do you love me now?” 5. watch small child cry, 6. drink tears of small child.

  33. lorian long

      send apology texts for drunk texts then call my mom and cry

  34. Marc

      Went out to Home Depot today and bought a $88 toilet because last night I tried on a suit and a new pair of fancy dress socks that came with it must of been soaked in Pledge cause I slipped and slid across the tile til I fell shoulder first into the toilet while I was taking a piss, knocking it off its base. There was no alcohol involved at that point. 

  35. M. Kitchell

      this question is presupposing that i went to bed at some point.

  36. Dawn.

      Every Saturday differs, so here’s today–
      Morning: Have sex, get dropped off at the library, buy hazelnut latte at the library, Tweet at the library, write half a story and e-mail it to myself at the library, read Volt at the library.
      Afternoon: Walk to work. Work.
      Evening: The Wire with Riesling and company.
      Now: More Riesling. Internet.
      Soon: More sex. Sleep.

  37. juan pancake

      1. remove skin of kentucky fried children, 2. place skin on face, 3. wake up small child in closet, 4. say “do you love me now?” 5. watch small child cry, 6. drink tears of small child.


      surprised no one here works… usually i work

      luckily i already made a list of what i did today in an email.
       i swear i’m not 15 years old…

      today i watched boys over flowers
      then smoked spice using tinfoil
      while my parents went to rite-aid
      then rode in a car with them to
      best buy and barnes & noble

      then ate carryout buffet sushi
      then watched slc punk
      then weighed
      myself on wii fit
      then tried to meditate listening to shamanic
      then watched police brutality vids and masturbated on and
      off for like 3 hours

  39. werdfert

      i wondered who that was, standing next to me.

  40. Jonathan

      I drink, whiskey in coffee, and then I make plans to
      meet up with my Japanese girlfriend, whose husband is an internationally known expert in judo, except I don’t really want to see her anymore, I’m kind of sick of her, just as many women have finally grown sick of me, but then
      if I don’t see her for at least a couple of hours she might go back to
      her abominable husband, who is homicidal and a prick, and who’s already
      out to kill me as things are, and not seeing her would probably speed things up, I think. I really don’t think I’ll survive my last year here in Japan.

  41. Webeginbombingin5minutes
  42. Webeginbombingin5minutes

      BEING 14 IS COOL

  43. Corey Zeller

      I usually have sex on Saturday Mornings too.  High-Five!

  44. Ester

      I always wondered how much a new toilet cost. Now I know.

  45. marshall

      are you real

  46. deckfight

      use my new leaf blower and play disc golf

  47. Laura Carter

      I don’t always drink when I go out anymore! This is a big change, and I’m happy about it. 

  48. MJ

      I was in the office reading this. It was dead silence and I started laughing for like 5 minutes amid the silence. And I kept giggling for 10 mins afterward. Thanks Werdfert!