August 16th, 2010 / 11:27 am
Author Spotlight

Alber, Mike. The Baby Jar (a graphic novel in bi-weekly installments)

Mike Alber is large, he contains multitudes. He is also the proud owner of a case of Crystal Pepsi from 1994. A recent graduate of Ohio State’s MFA in fiction writing, Mike has come to L.A. to sell out to the film and television industry. Also, a warning to the ladies: Mike Alber will knock you up as quick as look at you. Those who aren’t on Nuva-Ring are recommended not to make direct eye contact with the screen, instead viewing the novel through a hole punched in a shoe box.

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8 Comments

  1. cbren

      “Also, a warning to the ladies: Mike Alber will knock you up as quick as look at you.”
      What are you trying to say with this? That he’s very fertile, or just that he’s a serial rapist? As a female writer, should I stay away from Mike Alber and any event he puts on? Are you suggesting that I have been adequately warned and am now responsible if I am raped by Mike Alber? This sentence isn’t just gross and misogynist, it’s also dumb.

  2. Sean

      Did humor ever enter your mind? Seems like banter to me. Trash talk, off the cuff, a sprinkle, not a storm. So put up that severe umbrella and go puddle jump.

  3. cbren

      “Also, a warning to the ladies: Mike Alber will knock you up as quick as look at you.”
      What are you trying to say with this? That he’s very fertile, or just that he’s a serial rapist? As a female writer, should I stay away from Mike Alber and any event he puts on? Are you suggesting that I have been adequately warned and am now responsible if I am raped by Mike Alber? This sentence isn’t just gross and misogynist, it’s also dumb.

  4. Sean

      Did humor ever enter your mind? Seems like banter to me. Trash talk, off the cuff, a sprinkle, not a storm. So put up that severe umbrella and go puddle jump.

  5. Christopher Higgs

      Hi cbren, for the record I didn’t write that sentence: the blue background indicates a blockquote: I pulled the quote from the website — therefore, I’m not “trying to say” anything. I assume, as is standard, that Mike wrote that bio. Knowing him as I do I can attest to the fact that he’s trying to be funny (and maybe dumb) but not “gross or misogynist”. As a female writer, I believe you would be very safe in the company of Mr. Alber. No need for alarm. The worst you can expect is to be bored to death by his warm remembrances of the 2004 NBA finals, when his beloved Pistons beat my beloved Lakers, but other than that, nothing to fear. He’s a good guy.

  6. Average male

      Yeah, that’s always the problem with these feminists, they just have no sense of humor!

  7. Christopher Higgs

      Hi cbren, for the record I didn’t write that sentence: the blue background indicates a blockquote: I pulled the quote from the website — therefore, I’m not “trying to say” anything. I assume, as is standard, that Mike wrote that bio. Knowing him as I do I can attest to the fact that he’s trying to be funny (and maybe dumb) but not “gross or misogynist”. As a female writer, I believe you would be very safe in the company of Mr. Alber. No need for alarm. The worst you can expect is to be bored to death by his warm remembrances of the 2004 NBA finals, when his beloved Pistons beat my beloved Lakers, but other than that, nothing to fear. He’s a good guy.

  8. Average male

      Yeah, that’s always the problem with these feminists, they just have no sense of humor!