December 6th, 2008 / 6:23 pm
Author Spotlight

Krammer Abrahams might be serious

If he is, it’s a great day for everyone with eyelids and bees.

I like Krammer Abrahams. If he had written two 500+ page bricks, I would write a long post explaining why I like him. Instead, I’ll just say: he is making the new weird.

Here are some stories you can read by him online:
They Fucked Behind the Blue Curtain @ RobotMelon: This story has a character named ‘Boots Walking in America,’ and is presented with the above picture wherein the author wrote the title of his story on his chest.

Something About a Present Day Jesus @ Lamination Colony: (This story came with a title-chest photo also, though it aroused too much livelihood in me to post it in my post-coital leisure.)

Out of Africa @ Titular: it’s a story about Africa and prostitutes (kind of) and herpes, what else do you want?

And now, here is a press release from this man about a new journal with a new name:

HeyShortyComeToMyKegPartyDougIsInABadMoodThereAreNachos-
RINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGBANANAPHONEPenguinsOnWings-OfAirplanesEatingCloudsILove$

is now accepting submissions. Stories will be published on a yearly basis. I am not sure when that year will start. Submissions should either be 16 words long or over 30,000 words.

Actually, I am not being serious about the ‘publishing on a yearly basis’.

I am serious about submissions being 16 words or 30,000 words long.

If you submit a work 30,000 words long I will probably read it and choose my favorite 16 words. If it is really good I will publish the whole thing on sticky notes. I do not know how I will do this. It might be impossible, but if the work is good enough I will find a way. I will be Gilbert Arenas and become a hibachi and say, “Nothing is impossible” and jump out of the upper deck and your work will be published on sticky notes.

It will be very limited. Only one or two copies will be made. More will be made for $.

I think that is all. Publishing schedule coming soon.

THANK YOU,

Eat these words and vomit them on other people who don’t want to listen but then have to think about the words you threw up on their shirts.

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14 Comments

  1. Matt

      Sean Lovelace should be HeyShortyComeToMyKegPartyDougIsInABadMoodThereAreNachos-
      RINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGBANANAPHONEPenguinsOnWings-OfAirplanesEatingCloudsILove$’s first contributor, since there are nachos in their title.

  2. Matt

      Sean Lovelace should be HeyShortyComeToMyKegPartyDougIsInABadMoodThereAreNachos-
      RINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGBANANAPHONEPenguinsOnWings-OfAirplanesEatingCloudsILove$’s first contributor, since there are nachos in their title.

  3. KevinS

      “The new weird.” I like that. But I think he needs to be in a Harmony Korine movie before he really gets that title.
      That Robot Melon story is kind of dumb but the Lamination Colony story is good.
      I will never be published in Heyshorty now.

  4. KevinS

      “The new weird.” I like that. But I think he needs to be in a Harmony Korine movie before he really gets that title.
      That Robot Melon story is kind of dumb but the Lamination Colony story is good.
      I will never be published in Heyshorty now.

  5. Blake Butler

      mm nachos. i think i just like fucking behind a blue curtain. plus any story with sweatpants. if it has sweatpants, it wins

      sweatpants are my nachos

      i dont wear sweatpants

  6. Blake Butler

      mm nachos. i think i just like fucking behind a blue curtain. plus any story with sweatpants. if it has sweatpants, it wins

      sweatpants are my nachos

      i dont wear sweatpants

  7. pr

      i had the same nacho thought. i love sean lovelace’s blog.

      kevin- brave of you. i can’t appreciate all absurdist lit either, but i like trying all the stuff here. it pushes me a bit in a good way.

  8. pr

      i had the same nacho thought. i love sean lovelace’s blog.

      kevin- brave of you. i can’t appreciate all absurdist lit either, but i like trying all the stuff here. it pushes me a bit in a good way.

  9. Joseph Young

      he’s got rhythm and form and content. nice. not sure i would call it absurdist though. so grounded in human.

  10. Joseph Young

      he’s got rhythm and form and content. nice. not sure i would call it absurdist though. so grounded in human.

  11. Blake Butler

      yeah, it’s not really absurd, but it is an interesting meld of narrative and really random, i think. esp the LC story

  12. Blake Butler

      yeah, it’s not really absurd, but it is an interesting meld of narrative and really random, i think. esp the LC story

  13. pr

      HeyShortyComeToMyKegPartyDougIsInABadMoodThereAreNachos-
      RINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGBANANAPHONEPenguinsOnWings-OfAirplanesEatingCloudsILove$-
      to me, that is absurd, and i don’t mean that in a bad way at all, just as a way to understand it.

  14. pr

      HeyShortyComeToMyKegPartyDougIsInABadMoodThereAreNachos-
      RINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGBANANAPHONEPenguinsOnWings-OfAirplanesEatingCloudsILove$-
      to me, that is absurd, and i don’t mean that in a bad way at all, just as a way to understand it.