November 25th, 2011 / 4:38 pm
 Author Spotlight

LIES/ISLE PRESENTS: Unrepairable by Russ Woods

Since it’s the terrible day of capital-death known as BLACK FRIDAY, I’ve decided that a more positive gesture, to assuage all the guilt of those who are pimp their souls to save a buck (we’ve all been there in some regard), is needed. Thus, I’d like to publish a brilliant work of literature that specifically makes use of the medium it’s being published on; namely THE INTERNET. Russ’s work takes a note from old text-based RPGs (MUDs to be more specific) on telnet, an entirely antiquated form that, as Russ’s work proves, is ripe for exploration.

Russ Woods lives in Chicago and edits Red Lightbulbs with his wife Meghan Lamb.

Click “more” to read Russ Woods’s brilliant Unrepairable.














              And what would you go back to?
       No one lives in the place where they're from.

                          -Wisdom Tooth, 
                        "Everything's Green"





















 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



                             I don't see you anymore.
                                        .         .
                   .               .           .
          .                 .        .         .     .  .
               .         .             .
                                  .   .    .   .       .

            .            .            .
.                           .                    .    .
                    .               .                       .

  .                           .          .           .
               .                                          .
                             .                .   .
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.                            .                             .
.
                                      .
            .                .                 .       .



       .                             .
                           .                      .      


          .                                           .
                       .


                                      .         .

              .

.

                  I don't
                                      .                         .



.                      


                                                        k
                                                       (no)
                                                         w
                                .






           .                                                






                                                 .





fuck
                      .












                                                            .





  .                                    








                    .
                          666666666666666666666666
                          666666666666666666666666
                          666666666666666666666666
                          666                  656
                          666        you       566
                          666    wrapped       656 
                          666       your       665
                          666       ribs       655
                          665        all       555
       .                  656         on       656
                          665         it       556
                          656          .       565    .
                          665                  555
                          655555555555555555545554
                          555555555555555555554444
                          556555555555555555444444
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      you                                      444
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  wrapped                                      444
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 your                                          444
       ribs                                    444
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       all                                     444
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                              on               444
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                                               444   
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                                               444   it
                                               444
                                               444
                               (it was incredibl3)
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            does it hurt?                      222
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     |     '       /  |     |                |     |                |
     /__      ___ (  /      |                |     |                |
     \\--`-'-|`---\\ |      |                |     |                |
      |' _/   ` __/ /       |     '       /  |     |                |
      '._  W    ,--'        /__      ___ (  /      |                |
         |_:_._/            \\--`-'-|`---\\ |      |                |
               |             |' _/   ` __/ /       |     '       /  |
               |             '._  W    ,--'        /__      ___ (  / 
               |                |_:_._/            \\--`-'-|`---\\ |
               |                      |             |' _/   ` __/ /
               |                      |             '._  W    ,--' 
               |                      |                |_:_._/ 
               |                      |                      |
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 ____                        
|____|
      

 ____  ____  ____  ____     _     _  ___   ____  _ __ 
| __ ||    ||_   ||    | __| | __| ||_  \ |_  _|| |  \
| |/ |||_| | / | |||_| ||__  ||__  | _|> | _||_ | || |
\___/ |_||_||/\__/|_||_|   |_|   |_||___/ |____|\__|_|

 ____  ____   __      _ 
|_   ||   _| /  \  __/ |
 / | ||  |_ | |] ||__  |
\___/ |____||___/ 

    _       
 __| | ____ 
|__  ||____|
   |_|      

 _ __  ___   ____ 
| |  \|_  \ |   _|
| || | _|> | > >_ 
\__|_||___/ |____|

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|   _|
|  |_ 
|____|

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|__  |
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|____|

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|_   |
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|/\__/

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|    |
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  \__/

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|_  \ 
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|___/ 

      
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|____|
      

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|_   |
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|/\__/

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|_  \ 
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|___/ 

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| __ |
|  | |
\_/\_/

      
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|  __|
|_|   

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|    |
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..............we came to a clearing and everything was..............
..............silent.  you looked at me and pointed at..............
..............a shadow at the tops of the trees.  i re..............
..............member that much.  then i heard a cracki..............
..............ng noise and i couldn't find you anymore..............
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Tags: , ,

41 Comments

  1. November 25th, 2011 / 4:50 pm Tim Jones-Yelvington—

      anachronism is fashion. work it, russ.

  2. November 25th, 2011 / 5:56 pm Lexie—

      this is GREAT

  3. November 25th, 2011 / 7:04 pm Nick Sturm—

      I want more librarians to treat the world like Russ Woods.

  4. November 25th, 2011 / 7:16 pm Jackson Nieuwland—

      1337

  5. November 25th, 2011 / 7:56 pm MJ—

      There’s so many reasons why this is dope. Used to play this AOL test based RPG called Legends of Terris. It basically evolved my writing skills by 10 years at the tender age of whatever. But yeah Russ man, this makes me want to buy a book of yours.

  6. November 25th, 2011 / 8:22 pm Tim Jones-Yelvington—

      As I read this, I kept thinking: This is wonderful, but do Russ and Mike realize he misspelled unrepairable? Isn’t it unreparable? eek!… And then I realized I was thinking of irreparable, which is entirely different word. All of which intensified to the uncanny and uncomfortable feelings that make this text such an effective affective experience.

  7. November 25th, 2011 / 8:40 pm michael—

      you’re thinking ‘irreparable.’ they’re both words. ‘unrepairable’ is just a wee bit more literal.

  8. November 25th, 2011 / 9:26 pm Tim Jones-Yelvington—

      Did you read my comment?

  9. November 25th, 2011 / 9:30 pm William VanDenBerg—

      YES.

  10. November 25th, 2011 / 9:49 pm michael—

      no, why?

  11. November 25th, 2011 / 9:49 pm deadgod—

      ………………………………………………………………………..
      ………………………………………………………………………..
      ………………….no, it doesn’t hurt to rea……………………….
      ………………….d this kind of text.  it fee……………………….
      ………………….ls pretty good both emoti……………………….
      ………………….onally and intellectually, in………………………
      …………………………………………………….f……………………..
      ………………………………………………………a…………………..
      ………………………………………………………..c…………………
      ………………………………………………………….t……………….
      ……………………………………………………………;……………..
      …………………………………………………………….it…………….
      ………………………………………………………………is………
      ………………………………………………………………..a………….
      ………………………………………………………………….bit………
      ……………………………………………………………………..tricky.
      ……………………………….and
      ………………………..trying
      ……………………..of
      …………………the
      ……….patience
      …….to
      .write
      ,
      t
      h
      o
      u
      g
      h
      .………………………………………………………………………

  12. November 25th, 2011 / 9:52 pm michael—

      no, why?

  13. November 25th, 2011 / 10:12 pm Bobby Dixon—

      You did it!

  14. November 25th, 2011 / 10:36 pm MJ—

      lol

  15. November 25th, 2011 / 11:22 pm Mike Meginnis—

      I liked this! 

  16. November 25th, 2011 / 11:30 pm Tim Jones-Yelvington—

      cuz everything you said in your response to my comment I already said in the comment you were responding to.

  17. November 26th, 2011 / 1:34 am Hank—

      I found this to be somewhat banal.  I wasn’t familiar with there being a tradition of practical jokes on Thanksgiving or the day afterward or whatever.  I thought that was in April.

  18. November 26th, 2011 / 1:35 am Matt Rowan—

      This was a very good thing, and I enjoyed it quite a lot. The skulls were especially good. And then there were more skulls. I swear I’m not too much a philistine always.

  19. November 26th, 2011 / 1:51 am postitbreakup—

      lit secret: if you use special formatting you don’t need as much meaning, and the fewer words you put on each page, the longer your chapbook will look

  20. November 26th, 2011 / 2:13 am Matt Rowan—

      Irony, sort of. Very clever, Hank, very clever. Good for you. 

  21. November 26th, 2011 / 2:38 am William VanDenBerg—

      Do other people have problems taking the word banal seriously?  Whenever I read it the word plays in my head with a Boston Brahim accent (bah-naaaal). I’d really like for it to be pronounced bah-NAL!

      At any rate, it’s a useful word that has been used so much it now is exactly what it means.

  22. November 26th, 2011 / 4:08 am Trey—

      meaning and length are very important qualities, as everyone knows

  23. November 26th, 2011 / 5:37 am deadgod—

      little old lady lollygagging on lollipops levitates orbiting lintels

  24. November 26th, 2011 / 10:18 am Anonymous—

      My chapbook is really short even with all the ascii bloat.  There aren’t a whole lot of words.  I write regular poetry too.  Everyone seems to like this stuff better, though.

  25. November 26th, 2011 / 10:21 am Anonymous—

      Or at least more people have asked me to write it.

  26. November 26th, 2011 / 10:25 am Anonymous—

      This joke wasn’t very practical.

  27. November 26th, 2011 / 10:46 am postitbreakup—

      i like imagining it as rhyming with “anal”

  28. November 26th, 2011 / 10:47 am postitbreakup—

      w
      .h
      ..a
      …t
      ….e
      …..v
      ……e
      …….r
      floats your
      boat
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  29. November 26th, 2011 / 12:41 pm MJ—

       lol

  30. November 26th, 2011 / 2:07 pm michael—

      in the future i will make an effort to read the comments to which i am replying

  31. November 26th, 2011 / 2:08 pm MJ—

      Just started playing Legends of Terris again after reading this poem. Last time I logged in was like 6 or 7 years ago.

  32. November 26th, 2011 / 2:57 pm richard chiem—

      i am a fan of russ woods 

      ╔═══╗ ♪║███║ ♫║ (●) ♫╚═══╝♪♪╔═══╗ ♪║███║ ♫║ (●) ♫╚═══╝♪♪╔═══╗ ♪║███║ ♫║ (●) ♫╚═══╝♪♪

  33. November 26th, 2011 / 2:57 pm deadgod—

      Geez Louise–in the future, would you at least make an effort to read the comments to which you are replying??

  34. November 26th, 2011 / 3:05 pm Hank—

      I like when words seem to take on the qualities of the things they describe.  Of course, it happens most often with a word such as that one, but anyhow…

  35. November 26th, 2011 / 6:18 pm Bobby Dixon—

      “’Jeez Louise,’ Scott says towards his mimetic semblance, an invocation of, however distant and unconscious, our Lord Jesus Christ.’

  36. November 26th, 2011 / 7:31 pm James Tadd Adcox—

      Shit is hot, Russ. Like it.

  37. November 26th, 2011 / 7:55 pm postitbreakup—

      [oops]

  38. November 26th, 2011 / 10:34 pm deadgod—

      I figure that “gee” is a way of swearing without actually using the name (‘Jesus’) and summoning (“in vain”) the Resurrected One, and (perhaps) “gee whiz” (a nearish homophone) likewise, so I’m tempted sometimes to write “Jes’ Louise” or “Jes’, man”.

      –but I’d never write “Je’, I don’t know.” or just “Je'” or “Je’ whiz” or “Je’ whillickers” – except for fun and without (much) concern for intelligibility – , because I’d doubt its legibility even to well-intentioned readers.

      –so, for me, it’s geez.  ?

  39. November 26th, 2011 / 11:18 pm Mortimer—

      back to the future, deadgod!

  40. November 27th, 2011 / 7:21 pm Anonymous—

      I was a big Aardwolf fan in high school.  Back in the day I played Legend of the Red Dragon on our local dial-up bbs.  I also frequented some more obscure ones for awhile and learned to build/program MOOs on the otherwise ridiculous Dare 2 Dream.

  41. February 24th, 2014 / 10:29 pm T3xtm0.de—

      […] from februaryy‘s UNREPAIRABLE (2011). Taps into both ascii collection style, poetry and the scroll-down-mania of internetz […]