August 21st, 2010 / 4:53 pm
Behind the Scenes
Blake Butler
Behind the Scenes
A Letter to the Editor from Gary Lutz, 1988
A letter to the editor of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, May 8, 1988, from Gary Lutz:
[via Caketrain]
Tags: gary lutz, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
That’s how we roll here in Pittsburgh. We got simpers on our faces.
what is a simper
Gary Lutz corrects sentence structure in the New Yorker. No shit. He doesn’t have to walk–his thoughts transport him to all destinations regardless of time and space.
This must be from from his, Why are they published, damnit, I should be published! phase.
That’s how we roll here in Pittsburgh. We got simpers on our faces.
what is a simper
Indeed
Gary Lutz corrects sentence structure in the New Yorker. No shit. He doesn’t have to walk–his thoughts transport him to all destinations regardless of time and space.
This must be from from his, Why are they published, damnit, I should be published! phase.
To the editors of Newsweek:
Your uncanny ability to anticipate not merely the opinions but the very phrasings of the serious commentators at the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette never fails to impress me.
If only you would follow the lead of that broadsheet-sized gray oblong and include more gossip about shopkeepers. My fellow cosmetology students and I eat that stuff up.
Indeed
To the editors of Newsweek:
Your uncanny ability to anticipate not merely the opinions but the very phrasings of the serious commentators at the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette never fails to impress me.
If only you would follow the lead of that broadsheet-sized gray oblong and include more gossip about shopkeepers. My fellow cosmetology students and I eat that stuff up.
fie on simpers
ha.
fie on simpers
ha.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uptexco8vF4&feature=related
I wrote a letter to an editor precisely once, It was accepted, and the editor then proceeded to needlessly rewrite literally half of it (without even asking my permission) — and just a little less than competently, at that. (While he was at it, he apparently decided he would render a somewhat gross syntactical error, thus making me look like an idiot who didn’t know how to write).
At least he was kind enough to leave the last paragraph alone. So the letter still managed to conclude with the proper bang. Thank you, Editor.
So… lots and lots of people were reading a letter to the editor, under my name, that I hadn’t even written.
Whenever people told me they read my letter to the editor and thought it was great, I felt pissed. I had to keep telling people that it wasn’t my letter.
So… as they say . . . this taught me one hell of a lesson: Never write a letter to the editor if you’re a writer who — naturally — habitually expends at least some amount of effort to make sure every word is right . . . because the editor will end up making damn sure that half of it is wrong.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uptexco8vF4&feature=related
I wrote a letter to an editor precisely once, It was accepted, and the editor then proceeded to needlessly rewrite literally half of it (without even asking my permission) — and just a little less than competently, at that. (While he was at it, he apparently decided he would render a somewhat gross syntactical error, thus making me look like an idiot who didn’t know how to write).
At least he was kind enough to leave the last paragraph alone. So the letter still managed to conclude with the proper bang. Thank you, Editor.
So… lots and lots of people were reading a letter to the editor, under my name, that I hadn’t even written.
Whenever people told me they read my letter to the editor and thought it was great, I felt pissed. I had to keep telling people that it wasn’t my letter.
So… as they say . . . this taught me one hell of a lesson: Never write a letter to the editor if you’re a writer who — naturally — habitually expends at least some amount of effort to make sure every word is right . . . because the editor will end up making damn sure that half of it is wrong.
a writer who — naturally — habitually expends at least some amount of effort to make sure every word is right
That’s beautiful, Owen. Here’s an unrewritten half (or so) of a post you wrote in response to being read carefully:
“All this handwringing is unnecessary. All this throwing about of molecular words and esoteric references, the sticky coagulation of hair, this desperate quest for specificity, this micro-intensive query farm you cultivate . . . whatever you want to call it, it’s not necessary.”
Emendation
“The column […] does a handjob, perpetuating the image of Pittsburgh as the city with a simper on its face.”
Dude, let it go…
Dew’d, let “let it go” go.
a writer who — naturally — habitually expends at least some amount of effort to make sure every word is right
That’s beautiful, Owen. Here’s an unrewritten half (or so) of a post you wrote in response to being read carefully:
“All this handwringing is unnecessary. All this throwing about of molecular words and esoteric references, the sticky coagulation of hair, this desperate quest for specificity, this micro-intensive query farm you cultivate . . . whatever you want to call it, it’s not necessary.”
Emendation
“The column […] does a handjob, perpetuating the image of Pittsburgh as the city with a simper on its face.”
Dude, let it go…
Dew’d, let “let it go” go.
…sigh…
dg:
Interesting. But surely someone of your [meticulously crafted and] startling intelligence and insight can understand that there’s a point at which attention to craft crosses the line and becomes, then, unnecessarily self-destructive (and time-consuming) hand-wringing?
…sigh…
dg:
Interesting. But surely someone of your [meticulously crafted and] startling intelligence and insight can understand that there’s a point at which attention to craft crosses the line and becomes, then, unnecessarily self-destructive (and time-consuming) hand-wringing?
By the way, why are you picking on Pemulis’ word choices, now? If he’s not being mean to you: why’re you mean to him?
Well… that is: not exactly “self-destructive”, but unhealthy nonetheless. You know, dg… life tends to be more enjoyable the fewer things one worries about. If people like myself can’t get rid of the critical ones that drag us down, well at the very least we can get rid of the ones we aren’t critically attached to… can’t we?
By the way, why are you picking on Pemulis’ word choices, now? If he’s not being mean to you: why’re you mean to him?
Well… that is: not exactly “self-destructive”, but unhealthy nonetheless. You know, dg… life tends to be more enjoyable the fewer things one worries about. If people like myself can’t get rid of the critical ones that drag us down, well at the very least we can get rid of the ones we aren’t critically attached to… can’t we?
All over our faces.