January 2nd, 2012 / 4:40 pm
Behind the Scenes

ALT LIT GOSSIP Ohio Watching Party

Here’s a bunch of people in Ohio at Noah Cicero’s house watching the ALT LIT GOSSIP awards talking shit, doing drugs, and other things people here can bitch about being a ‘waste of [your internet time].’ Enjoi.


  1. Brittany Wallace

      god these people seem like the real dregs of society

  2. Tao

      Jordan don’t talk about that salad again

  3. Mapangui

      I might advise them to hit the gym. I might.

  4. Jordan
  5. Tao

      I meant to go to your Facebook and type a long rant in all caps but Internet isn’t working, was reduced to the vaguely toned comment above, currently typing this on iPhone under blanket on bed

      Lol re video

  6. Tao

      Lol re Flickr

  7. Lester

      Fucking losers and they are not as cool as they think. Want to be writers and douchbags. 

  8. EarlyAdopter

      Considered posting a nifty vid of me watching the vid above of some fascinating strangers blathering on while watching some other vid of some other stranger blathering on (in a presumably fascinating and hip way), then thought better of it and projectile vomited instead. Pics and vid to follow for friending, reposting, tweeting, youtubing, responding to via vid, then posting the response and what the blog-o-sphere has to say (includingsome sorry-ass twenty-something girl’s oh-so-fascinating confession of having bad sex with some sad twit while watching it…and the inevitable blog response by cretins whining that her self-involved cry for help is actually a “feminist issue”) then the inevitable reference to Hitler then an end of 2012 top 100 list and cold storage in Wayback machine until the spawn of the future get retro and begin re-reposting, re-retweeting, posting response vids, etc.

      Meanwhile, real humans chop wood, carry water.

      [Irony of posting the above on a comment thread duly noted in advance, so save the Frappuccino/Schlitz-scented breath.]

      Happy New Year!

  9. Brittany Wallace

      i’ve chopped wood
      i’ve carried water
      i have a minimum wage job
      color me REAL HUMAN

  10. Sam Guarino

      Maybe if I carry enough things tomorrow at work, I can atone for this.  CanI be forgiven?

  11. Nick Mamatas

      Smoking is still cool in Ohio, eh?

  12. Sam Guarino


  13. marshall


  14. marshall
  15. Hi

      the heart of it all

  16. Jordan

      i don’t think projectile vomiting instead of creating a video is ‘thinking better,’ it’s just projectile vomiting instead of creating a video

      you could still create the video despite vomiting – i vomited and created a video on the night that the above video was filmed

      ‘meanwhile,’ real humans drink water – a human who ‘merely’ carries water wouldn’t be a human for much longer, i’d imagine

  17. Guestagain

      hell o hell, ebryfing sthil beez coo in ohighho an chit

  18. shaun gannon

      looks like this comment section has a severe case of the grumpies

  19. Andy W

      i dont think so.  what’s your problem???????were just being people, talking, feeling, being people.  i wouldnt say grumpy–it pisses me off that you say that, shaun! theres nothing wrong with saying things and not being overly conscious about everything GOD and i just cant realize why i am always so conscious of everything…no one cares

      there was a time when i was bitter, grumpy old andy but now im just that guy who doesnt really care and gets pissed when people care because that makes me care YOU KNOW and then i eat a salad or whatever who cares and stand on a chair and scream and then jump of the chair and wished that i had screamed and feel like shit and go on HTMLgiant and watch some of the good old bros and whats up midwest represent til i die

      where did the jobs go??where did the landscapes go? where did the industry go? im not talking about service industry or any vermont bears up the works.  where did lebron go? the browns?  the original cleveland browns.  fuckkkkkkkkkk. its not a big deal.

  20. M. Kitchell

      snorting adderall and watching the internet seems counter-productive

  21. Marvin Brown

      i dont think it looked adderall..it looked like a downer to me

  22. EarlyAdopter

      On one level, I believe that’s “carry water” in order to drink it some time later, or cook with it. Something that most of the human race (those who aren’t self-indulgent asswipes videoing themselves in the presumption that the rest of the world cannot wait for their wonderfulness) does on a regular basis.
      Another way of looking at it is, it’s a metaphor. Get a real writer (or just any adult) to explain to you what that means. You’ll recognize a writer by the fact that they aren’t spending their time posting videos of themselves trying to be cool on the internet.

  23. M. Kitchell

      don’t think whatever they’re snorting is ever actually in frame; i’m just assuming it’s adderall and not blow b/c holy fuck that’d be even more of a waste 

  24. werealcool

      it looked like a frat boy to me

  25. Marvin Brown

      well blow would not be a downer either, i dont think, i dunno the computer is on drugs or something

  26. Marvin Brown

      no (s)he was in surgery…its to relieve anxiety/pain, supposedly

  27. Steve

      Mike, I am surprised that you would so carelessly stamp action onto time.  The film we are presented is seven minutes, in which we see the “pre-show”, and the “show”, and possibly even after the “show” (although we can’t be certain).  That is at least two hours, probably more.  

      We have no way of knowing if he was watching the internet either.  For all we know, he was watching his own projection on the screen, and the bits about the awards were staged.  Time and space are a mystery to us.

  28. joe
  29. Jordan

      i don’t care about what most of the human race would do

      i didn’t film the video presuming that ‘the rest of the world [couldn’t] wait for [our] wonderfulness’ – filmed it because i wanted to use my new video camera, document the night in an artistically satisfying (to me) manner, and other things. the main reason why i filmed/edited the video was because i thought it’d be (and it was) fun

      i am a ‘real writer.’ i’ve had >100 pieces of writing published online, 3 chapbooks published, 3 ebooks published, and have 2 forthcoming full-length books of poetry from 2 different presses. i also have another full-length poetry manuscript completed and a collection of short stories i’m working on

      this video wasn’t me ‘trying to be cool’ – a writer is someone who writes, which i do

  30. Guestagain

      yes they are and yes they are and yes the are and yes they are

  31. Mapangui

      Real writers aren’t so defensive. Lighten up, kid.

  32. Brittany Wallace


  33. Darby Larson

      i am a ‘real writer.’ i’ve had >100 pieces of writing published
      online, 3 chapbooks published, 3 ebooks published, and have 2
      forthcoming full-length books of poetry from 2 different presses. i also
      have another full-length poetry manuscript completed and a collection
      of short stories i’m working on


  34. Darby Larson

      sorry was just imagining don delillo saying all that

  35. shaun gannon

      kiss me!!

  36. EarlyAdopter


      when 5,000 people view my blogger profile pagei will make a tumblr accounti feel like i will post a picture of lil wayne on itas the first postlike, a really funny picture of lil wayne as the first post

      I found this online. It’s the first poem from your chabook “No Ceilings” and it makes my point better than anything else I could say.

      [Your feverish comment above makes me feel like I hit a nerve. I’ve really no desire to be continuingly mean, so I’ll stop. I wish you well, dude. But seriously, at least consider spending more time trying to improve as a writer and perhaps less posting sad vids of you and your peeps trying, oh so painfully, to look hip.]

  37. deadgod

      frac the pasta special in ohio

  38. Steve


  39. Guest

      Wanting to be a writer is understandable, but why would anyone want to be a douchebag?

  40. Noah Cicero

      The point of the party was to celebrate literature, as opposed to the super bowl or Saint Patrick’s day.  I also had to work on New Years eve night and knew I couldn’t go out that night and really wanted to hang out with people because I knew some people were on winter break.  It was vey innocent in its intention. 

  41. BppOperator

      In Texas all they’re doing right now is fracking it up.

  42. sarah san

      ohio seems lame

  43. sarah san

      jkay friends

  44. kb

      rich kids the movie


      […] Lately, that debate seems to be emerging around the Muumuus and the tumblr poets—most recently here. I quit the debating society a while ago; but I do feel it to be true that Fuse is a book of poems. […]

  46. Tummler


  47. Benjamin Hirtle
  48. marshall

      do you axually know any of the people in that video

  49. Late Bloomer

      Being bitter is awesome.

  50. Cassandra Troyan


  51. Jordan
  52. Jordan

      i don’t know andrew or matt’s financial situation but, in terms of society’s monetary standards, noah and brittany aren’t ‘rich,’ and, despite my dad being ‘rich,’ i’m not ‘rich’

  53. Jordan

      ‘come to think of it,’ i’m in debt

      if someone wants to pay me to do something, email jordancastroisthepresident[at]gmail[dot]com

  54. Jordan


  55. Cassandra Troyan


  56. Jordan


  57. Cassandra Troyan


  58. Jordan

      #TTU (too turnt up)

  59. Cassandra Troyan