June 7th, 2012 / 6:55 pm
Behind the Scenes

I wrote the parts graciously left anonymous on page 4 in Cybersex by Marie Calloway. Unedited screenshots of our correspondence — some of which are corroborated in the original publication, others which implicate her lies, and my naïveté — follow after the break. Of course, this is rather embarrassing on my end, given the glib sexual graphic nature herein. May this be in defense of her other hopeful suitors who were likely equally manipulated.

Also, three things [1, 2, 3] which preceded the correspondence above. I realize I majorly “cock blocked” myself from potential women who are now disgusted at me. Such is the price of cutting edge journalism. Besides, sex is just a wonderful thing between awful people.


  1. Bobby Dixon

      I feel like I want to give you and Marie a hug. Maybe not at the same time. 

  2. Bobby Dixon

      I feel stressed out. 

  3. Nick Mamatas

      Do people really say “vag”?

  4. postitbreakup

      damn, brave

      you’re so good at photoshopping these kinds of things though that it was hard for me to think this was real until the very end

      what’s getting (making an appt with? idk) a prostitute like? i’ve joked about doing that a bunch (guy prostitute obvs) because i have not otherwise been “getting any” for a long time, but i doubt i’ll ever actually do it, too scary

  5. postitbreakup

      I was futilely in love with an extremely narcissistic mostly straight dude for like 4 years and yes he said vag, puss, put my dick down, slop on my knob, etc etc etc but he is very charismatic so I found it amusing instead of horrible

  6. Frank Tas, the Raptor

      The less we hide from each other, the more we have to own up to each other, the more thoughtful we become, the better we become. Dig dug.

  7. Mike James


  8. Mike James

      The only other thing we need is a 56kbs modem and an AOL banner and we’re back in the early 90s

  9. Frank Tas, the Raptor

      Also the “Don’t respect me” portion of the promise feels unanswered. Forseeable drama?!?!?!

  10. postitbreakup

      all i have right now is a splash page and a visitor counter, everything else is under construction

  11. rawbbie

      I think Jimmy Chen just stares at the internet all day and the internet just cries.

  12. Christopher


  13. rawbbie

      Like, Jimmy Chen just wants to find the internet’s eyes so he can make eye contact, but the internet is just too sad for Jimmy Chen.

  14. Mr. Frank Rodriguez

      yeah real embarrassing for you, obviously.

  15. A D Jameson

      This is awesome.

  16. Clark Theriot

      This is becoming…so what? Two people like porn and live their life that way. headline news even.

  17. Anonymous

      Who is this embarrassing for exactly?

  18. Anonymous

      I mean, besides me.

  19. jtc

       didn’t read this but your comment spoke to me.

  20. Anonymous

      I agree, it’s not embarrassing. Sexual fantasies shared privately, how can they really be embarrassing.

  21. Anonymous

      Without reading it, you have already read it.

  22. Anonymous

      Both parties were keenly aware that this would be made public, hence the lack of embarrassment. 

  23. Jimmy Chen

      i just went to craigslists’ ‘erotic services’ then ‘w4m’ then searched by location and cost, then browsed for entries that seemed written not by an agency or pimp (i.e. a ‘real’ girl), then called the phone number to set up meeting place and time (within 20 mi and 2hrs), then manually coaxed endocrine response in interim w/o climaxing as ‘practice,’ accompanied by syndicated sitcoms of the early ’90s and a bowl of chex mix, then went to ATM for crisp $20s x [variable, in this case 5], then met her, as instructed, in the parking lot between wells fargo and taco bell, then entered her green ~2000-2001 mustang, then rose & collapsed under god’s written epitaph of our spirit, then told her she was pretty, the glistening of her eye under an amber street lamp, then died

  24. Nicholas Williard

      I was in her piece “men”…I was the one asking if the people she was cybering with knew who she was…knew if she was a sex blogger.  I’m glad I found this article tho, I think it would be cool if everyone who she’s put out her her ‘google_docs’ came forward and gave the bigger pictures of their correspondence.  She’s defiantly entrapping people into these sexually aggressive responses.  Personally I like reading her stuff and have become (in the days of easily accessible degrading internet porn)  not so jarred by the content as its somewhat common place in the world of sexual online interactions.  I’m more interested in it because it seems much more artistic and well put together than many of the pieces I see coming out of the underground online literature movement or ‘alt lit’.  When it comes to writing and artistic quality in general I think Marie is one of the better individuals in this movement.  Also liked this article because I would consider Jimmy Chen as another one of the top writers in ‘alt lit’ and reading there exchanges seemed to me like a meeting of giants.  htmlgiants 

  25. Anonymous

      I disagree, I think Jimmy would feel more embarrassed if he did NOT post this.

      It’s sorta complex, use your imagination.

  26. lorian long


  27. Frank Tas, the Raptor
  28. tao lin

      interested in what happened next

  29. Jimmy Chen

      she asked me about asian vs. white re: preference; then blond vs. brunette vs. red re: hair [in general]; then pubic hair trimming preference — i answered ‘brazillian’ san pubes for visual interface of coitus; then she expressed ambivalence with her D-cup breasts, to which i replied that firmness or buoyancy was more paramount than mass; then she asked me about my sexual past; then, on 2/17 10:09 am PST, she asked “Will u marry me???” to which i responded “it’s hard to take that question seriously, though it seems sweet, so thanks”; then, finally, on 2/26, after her documented trip to New York, in which you were invoked, she says “unsure.if. I want to have sex.still.might have just been going thru a phase of feeling super horny etc [line break] hug” and i say “Ok, sounds reasonable, thx; but damn, duh. Lemme know if u ever change ur mind”

  30. tao lin


  31. tao lin

      aren’t you the guy who said i can only write in one style, only have one writing style? you didn’t respond to that comment posting links to other things i write in other styles

  32. j orloski

      this is such complete nonsense. i thought this was a website that championed new and fresh literature? how is this shit not buried already?

  33. Trey

      you shouldn’t do that last thing. you will ruin someone’s day and that seems sad. I’m kind of tearing up a little thinking about it already, for real. someone who has been excited all summer to see the movie, and maybe waited in line or got their ticket early and maybe waited a couple of hours at the theatre to make sure they got good seats and all they want to do is watch it and maybe they’re like grinning before it starts and stuff and they get really quiet when it starts and they are really into it and then you set off fireworks and everyone is loud because they want to know what is happening and this person wants to know too but they also want to see the movie and in the end they will probably have missed somewhere between 5 and 15 minutes of the movie. and that just kind of sucks.

      or it’s your life and you can do what you want. but I wish you wouldn’t do it.

  34. Trey

      this is a website. look at what’s on it or don’t.

  35. Anonymous

      do you think that jimmy chen’s oversharing is a radical act??? 

  36. j orloski

       so bullshit like this is what you want a “lit-blog” to focus on?

  37. Frank Tas, the Raptor

       Trey, I will not do it, for you, for this comment thread, for the fact I wouldn’t have the balls to, anyway!

  38. Frank Tas, the Raptor

      Nah, wanted it to focus on indignant complaints by people with all the right answers. Maybe stick your nose up and say in a haughty accent, “Well! I never!” while leaving.

  39. Trey

      it isn’t here to do what I want.

  40. Trey

      you are a good person, I knew it!

  41. Nicholas Williard

      yes I felt intimidated and going toe to toe with A D Jameson (cause he appears to be way more well-read than me in the subject of contemporary literature) seemed like a bad idea.  Guess I wanted to retreat and let the comments swallow the point I was trying to make. 

  42. Evan Hatch

      jimmy chen is a seemingly paradoxical amalgam of everything i hope i could one day be, and i everything i hope i never become

  43. Zac Zellers

      i think don’t that ‘it would be cool if everyone came forward and gave the bigger pictures;’ i like these pieces by calloway as they are. i think that people who are interested in seeing different perspectives of these events are less interested in calloway as a writer/artist, and more interested in these narratives in the same way one may be interested in reality television. however, i did enjoy jimmy chen’s post here since it is funny and insightful. while complementary to calloway’s work, it also seems like its own thing somehow.

  44. Nicholas Williard

      also just read 
      Sincerity on your tumblr, from bed…I stand corrected. Sorry tao lin 

  45. Anonymous

      Getting the feeling I am the only person who has talked to Marie on a semi-regular basis that was not privy to sexual advance. Assume this means I am ‘worthless.’

  46. Nicholas Williard

      There are many talented writer/artists who develop scripts for reality television shows.  reality tv is just as valid a form of visual art as any.  I don’t think the form should take away from the artist.  But honestly what MC is doing is not dissimilar from reality TV.  She’s not developing characters from imagination, she’s using real people and coxing them into particular scenarios, then taking that content and editing it into these racy little montages.  This is 100% the essence of reality tv.   But for literature maybe it’s somewhat new.  

      Also do you really think we can apply the same ethical considerations to pure fiction and reality based exposure.  No-one is going to judge Tom Hiddleston for being an Evil Supervillian because he played loki in the avengers.  But people will judge the hell out of the cast of Jersey Shore because that show (weather or not it’s true) is perceived as real.  
      The difference between the Editors of Jersey Shore and MC is that MC’s starts are unwittingly lured into her work.  Which again…I personally don’t care.  It just feels like people are having trouble making a distinction between pure fiction and lit that is highly contrived from real life.  And it seems like people feel we should treat them the same.  But should we? 

  47. j orloski

       yes, that is exactly what i do when i disagree with something.

  48. Anonymous

      Grow up guys. Holy shit.

  49. deadgod

      Being deceived by liars is vastly, piercingly aggravating of the wounds in one’s trust.

      But:  how were you “manipulated”?  Did you believe that “no i wouldn’t write about it” a) meant ‘I won’t show your emails to me to anybody.’; and b) was binding–or even a little believable?  Did you ever receive “blackmail photos” of compellingly silencing quality – enough to give you confidence in the premise of their distribution to you?

      –unless this blogicle is a put-on – a “‘set-up'” – , in which case:  it’s a fine one.

  50. Steven Vineis

      Fuckin’ Internet.

  51. J Lorene Sun

      Reading all of these posts…I just have a problem with the dishonesty that goes into the creation of her work. :/ 

  52. Walter Mackey

      I didn’t read many of these comments, felt myself skimming, felt slightly disinterested and [something else].  This all just seems awful.

  53. Boris

      Even the literati have their prurient side. But, yeah, gossip is not really literature. Or if it is, please kill me (no anal).

  54. Richard Grayson

      What’s wonderful about this is that this hilarious and brilliant literary hoax is going off in lots of crazy ways, with various other writers involved.  Whoever the genius is behind the “Marie Calloway” persona — I assume the person in the photographs and public appearances is, like Laura Albert’s “JT Leroy,” an actor — he or she is a shrewd parodist and social satirist with a deliciously vicious streak.  The writer (I suspect someone older, very possibly a male) has created a narrative voice that manages to take in so many people — although it’s not clear how many here, like Jimmy, are in on the joke/hoax — that its loopy recursiveness is dizzying and exhilarating.

      Part of the fun for me is just envisioning the chuckles the real “Marie Calloway” gets when she reads all the commentary, pro and con.  S/he obviously has a profound distaste for all the jejune, puerile, callow commentary out there (“callow way” is a hint in her [admitted] pseudonym; s/he’s eviscerating all the callow ways young writers achieve success) and manages to be so timely in his/her parody and satire that his/her supposed brothers and sisters out there in the funhouse world of “alt lit” can’t recognize themselves in the mirror s/he’s holding to their faces. The commentary s/he creates, like the best of conceptual art, is of course part of the shtick. 

      Marie Calloway is a true genius, perhaps the only one today writing mostly on the internet who is worthy of the word “genius.”  Calloway has provided more entertainment than a thousand of his/her peers. Bravo!

  55. krysbeau

      It’s hard to unpack the extent to which the Marie Calloway persona is an act, which can be rewarding to think about.  But this seemed manipulative and mean, and I don’t feel like meaness has a place in art.  Maybe she justified it all because she predicated the interaction on Jimmy not respecting her as a writer/person/etc but I think its a shallow justification that disregards complex emotions in any person/character. 

  56. Anonymous

      I think you’re giving her a lot more credit here than she deserves, man. Maybe this idea you have of her is how you’d LIKE it to all turn out? Wouldn’t it be nice if she really did have this much power? Instead I see a scared little girl who seems to be playing, without much foresight. That is not really a “mastermind” doing “cultural criticism,” just a 20-something with not much else to do than worry about herself and how much men approve of her. I think Blake originally posted about this because he saw her work as more sincere than what people are calling Sincerity, and that, definitely, it is not satire.

  57. Anonymous

      ‘white girls’

  58. Madison Langston

      what the fuck are you talking about 

  59. mimi

      this is a very interesting ‘take’, much more interesting that what _seems_, what _appears_, to _be_, on the ‘surface’

  60. Sam Frank

      you guys are all pretty good characters, esp u jc. jc’s honesty contrasts well with tl’s mystery. the internet is actually a book, a v. meta story. layers and layers of satirism compounded by an earnest attempt at honesty and an honest exposure of mystery,,, wow. all of you must continue to write (in opposition to jd salinger) publicly. pls let me b your laughing man.

  61. Sam Frank

      you guys are great characters. jc’s honesty and tl’s mystery contrast well, and mc’s struggle/attempts at connection w/ both is/are great. communication and language are v powerful. mad respect, really. pls keep writing, we are watching :)

  62. Oliver Miller

      I talked to Ms. Calloway on IM once; it was a brutally dumb experience, because she’s an idiot.

  63. Oliver Miller

      Maybe we shouldn’t bother to “unpack” and other such highfalutin’ terms. Maybe she’s just a jerk. Just a thought.

  64. Oliver Miller

      Yeah, that’s not what’s happening. But that’d be nice.