March 19th, 2009 / 6:41 pm
Behind the Scenes
Sam Pink
Behind the Scenes
WHAT ARE YOUR WRITING HABITS/RITUALS/METHODS
"dear new yorker, enclosed is my story, HIT A HOMERUN FOR GRANDMA, LITTLE BILLY."
i think everyone has or has had a method. what is your method? here’s mine for right now:
sit down on my bed (which has no box spring, sits on floor)
pinch my eyes closed to avoid crying (then use the one or two tears that fall onto my leg to twist up my leg hair into “dreads”)
inhale a beachball filled with nitrous
then just cut and paste babysitter’s club books and pantera lyrics
Tags: babysitter's club, writing methods
the kid in that picture totally ripped off the story i’m working on.
the kid in that picture totally ripped off the story i’m working on.
Mine goes like this-
I don’t write for a long time and start feeling as if I’lll never write again. Then some parent from my kids school is totally evil to me and I freak out on him//her and get really depressed that I “lost control” and then I sleep a lot for a few days- like 15 hours and shit, with a nap- and then I write a story.
My writing method is to pop funkier than I’ve drunk before, so the drinking comes with little smiles on the faces of the tiny mice running my wheels of thinking. Another idea is to not write and instead do the things you write about. Another idea is to keep smiling and telling yourself you are having a good time. Another idea is to inflate yourself and tell yourself you’re inflating a good time. One habit is to start drinking a lot and plan puke parties with your friends, then instead of writing, just talk words with your friends. Have friends and be in a cage in the zoo and use charades to tell stories to the people looking at you. Use Morse Code hiccups. Use once for yes twice for no. Use interperative dance techniques. Use patented writing techniques and methodologies. There are fewer writers in the world than you realize so don’t get so antsy. A method is to stop being a chowderhead. Another method is brush your teeth more often and stop cancelling your dentist appointments.
My writing method is to pop funkier than I’ve drunk before, so the drinking comes with little smiles on the faces of the tiny mice running my wheels of thinking. Another idea is to not write and instead do the things you write about. Another idea is to keep smiling and telling yourself you are having a good time. Another idea is to inflate yourself and tell yourself you’re inflating a good time. One habit is to start drinking a lot and plan puke parties with your friends, then instead of writing, just talk words with your friends. Have friends and be in a cage in the zoo and use charades to tell stories to the people looking at you. Use Morse Code hiccups. Use once for yes twice for no. Use interperative dance techniques. Use patented writing techniques and methodologies. There are fewer writers in the world than you realize so don’t get so antsy. A method is to stop being a chowderhead. Another method is brush your teeth more often and stop cancelling your dentist appointments.
My ritual is to wish I was wasted, think about it, then write as if I was. Which I’m not, of course, because then I would be in a corner, giggling and falling into a stupor.
I also favour hatred of the entire world as an impetus towards creativity. Obviously.
My ritual is to wish I was wasted, think about it, then write as if I was. Which I’m not, of course, because then I would be in a corner, giggling and falling into a stupor.
I also favour hatred of the entire world as an impetus towards creativity. Obviously.
haha- this is good.
Somebody tells me they’re having/had knee-surgery and I get short of breath and worry about dying and go home and try to watch TV but can’t concentrate so I try to write something but I haven’t had a cigarette since, like, two-hundred and fifty words ago and who doesn’t have a rewards system?
Somebody tells me they’re having/had knee-surgery and I get short of breath and worry about dying and go home and try to watch TV but can’t concentrate so I try to write something but I haven’t had a cigarette since, like, two-hundred and fifty words ago and who doesn’t have a rewards system?
i think to myself “what would jesus do?”
i think to myself “what would jesus do?”
i think “PUNK AS FUCK” then just go, bro
sometimes i write it too, then paste it on my screen so i don’t forget
*in case i forget
i think “PUNK AS FUCK” then just go, bro
sometimes i write it too, then paste it on my screen so i don’t forget
*in case i forget
i like this
i like this
i always try to think what Jesus would do. And you know what? I’m not sure he would write fiction. But I do. And that’s OK. I love him and hope he loves me too.
I liked your blood and cum thing. Blood and cum was good.
1. I pluck out my eyebrow hairs and allow their random placement on the empty page to suggest letterforms and words. If a pained intimacy is needed on the page, I do the same with my pubic hairs. I have yet to try the hair on my head, my nose, or ears, but suspect that if I do, I will write like David Foster Wallace’s right pinkie.
2. I twiddle my thumbs, lock my eye on one cuticle, and then carefully increase the speed until I transcend this earthly plane.
3. I magic marker my entire body with random words from the dictionary, then roll myself on paint-thinner primed paper. I take it from there. Note: It’s important to remember to write backwards unless you’re going for that enigmatic Leonardo da Vinci thing.
4. I scoop out my belly lint and ear wax, mash them together, and then smear them onto the page. This unlocks any vital energies I may have trapped inside my body.
5. I line up all my action figures, have them play red-light-green-light-one-two-three, and then all my inhibitions fall away. I once played the French variation un, deux, trois, soleil and wrote like Proust.
6. I shuffle around Scrabble letters until a L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E poem emerges.
7. I deliberately use the tweezers in Operation to torture “Cavity Sam”, especially the hole in his forearm, the “Writer’s Cramp,” as it were. Then I interview him. My personal security would be compromised if I shared the results of our exchanges.
8. I down high-powered caffeinated drinks by the gallons, become addicted to that rush, and churn out flash pieces by the hundreds.
9. I sit and imagine that I’m writing and suddenly I’m there filling up rolls of paper like Jack Kerouac. Note: I have not been able to submit any results from using this method.
10. I pick up newsprint pages flapping by on the street and use them as writing prompts. Contrary to what you might think, this does not result in newsworthy prose. And no, I’m not at liberty to discuss the results from using the classifieds.
1. I pluck out my eyebrow hairs and allow their random placement on the empty page to suggest letterforms and words. If a pained intimacy is needed on the page, I do the same with my pubic hairs. I have yet to try the hair on my head, my nose, or ears, but suspect that if I do, I will write like David Foster Wallace’s right pinkie.
2. I twiddle my thumbs, lock my eye on one cuticle, and then carefully increase the speed until I transcend this earthly plane.
3. I magic marker my entire body with random words from the dictionary, then roll myself on paint-thinner primed paper. I take it from there. Note: It’s important to remember to write backwards unless you’re going for that enigmatic Leonardo da Vinci thing.
4. I scoop out my belly lint and ear wax, mash them together, and then smear them onto the page. This unlocks any vital energies I may have trapped inside my body.
5. I line up all my action figures, have them play red-light-green-light-one-two-three, and then all my inhibitions fall away. I once played the French variation un, deux, trois, soleil and wrote like Proust.
6. I shuffle around Scrabble letters until a L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E poem emerges.
7. I deliberately use the tweezers in Operation to torture “Cavity Sam”, especially the hole in his forearm, the “Writer’s Cramp,” as it were. Then I interview him. My personal security would be compromised if I shared the results of our exchanges.
8. I down high-powered caffeinated drinks by the gallons, become addicted to that rush, and churn out flash pieces by the hundreds.
9. I sit and imagine that I’m writing and suddenly I’m there filling up rolls of paper like Jack Kerouac. Note: I have not been able to submit any results from using this method.
10. I pick up newsprint pages flapping by on the street and use them as writing prompts. Contrary to what you might think, this does not result in newsworthy prose. And no, I’m not at liberty to discuss the results from using the classifieds.
When I get an hour or so to write, the first thing I have to do is celebrate for a half-hour the fact that the baby finally went to sleep and then I spend the next 15 minutes worried that she’ll wake up or my wife will wake up and when that’s over I can spend the next 15 actually writing. Then it’s nearly time to get up and go to work.
No where in that ritual do I ever think of Jesus.
When I get an hour or so to write, the first thing I have to do is celebrate for a half-hour the fact that the baby finally went to sleep and then I spend the next 15 minutes worried that she’ll wake up or my wife will wake up and when that’s over I can spend the next 15 actually writing. Then it’s nearly time to get up and go to work.
No where in that ritual do I ever think of Jesus.
sometimes i think “what would zoroaster do?”
sometimes i think “what would zoroaster do?”
funny i often think “fuck as punk”
funny i often think “fuck as punk”
a good friend of mine has “what would Sun Ra do? very large in his office.
a good friend of mine has “what would Sun Ra do? very large in his office.
I don’t need to think what Jesus would do. I am Jesus. And I am writing better than yesterday, when I was the Emperor Caligula.
I don’t need to think what Jesus would do. I am Jesus. And I am writing better than yesterday, when I was the Emperor Caligula.
damn. Jesus stole his second mention.
damn. Jesus stole his second mention.
blood and cum, you gotta have it. even the babes.
FUCK AS PUNK bro
blood and cum, you gotta have it. even the babes.
FUCK AS PUNK bro
Brad, our writing styles are very similar.
I also write a few minutes on the train on the way to work, occasionally on the way home. I sit on the “quiet car” so the snoring infuriates and fuels. I often wake up at 2 in the morning to eat or do something else and decide to write something. The baby monitor is on so I can hear little snoring, which helps.
Brad, our writing styles are very similar.
I also write a few minutes on the train on the way to work, occasionally on the way home. I sit on the “quiet car” so the snoring infuriates and fuels. I often wake up at 2 in the morning to eat or do something else and decide to write something. The baby monitor is on so I can hear little snoring, which helps.
i jot a bunch of lines on my phone, let anxiety build until it overspills, then clear out time to put lines together into something resembling “writing.”
i jot a bunch of lines on my phone, let anxiety build until it overspills, then clear out time to put lines together into something resembling “writing.”
1. if it’s fiction / poetry: start with something that really happened.
2. if it’s nonfiction think of what it would sound like told as fiction or poetry.
3. headphones.
4. select bpm (jungle=160-200, hip hop, 80-100, house, 133)
5. write.
6. copy and paste whatever you’ve written into speedreader program
7. set speedreader program to whatever bpm was selected.
8. speedread shit written while listening to music at same bpm
9. stop each time there’s something that’s off-beat
10. cut words that were off beat
11. paste all those words into a seperate doc
12. all the shit that was cut was what you were really trying to say.
13. end afraid to publish what you really wanted to say
14. end up publishing the stuff that you think won’t make other people feel alienated when they read it.
15. feel like a failure because you weren’t brave enough to send the real shit
16. to overcome feelings of failure: go back to step 1.
1. if it’s fiction / poetry: start with something that really happened.
2. if it’s nonfiction think of what it would sound like told as fiction or poetry.
3. headphones.
4. select bpm (jungle=160-200, hip hop, 80-100, house, 133)
5. write.
6. copy and paste whatever you’ve written into speedreader program
7. set speedreader program to whatever bpm was selected.
8. speedread shit written while listening to music at same bpm
9. stop each time there’s something that’s off-beat
10. cut words that were off beat
11. paste all those words into a seperate doc
12. all the shit that was cut was what you were really trying to say.
13. end afraid to publish what you really wanted to say
14. end up publishing the stuff that you think won’t make other people feel alienated when they read it.
15. feel like a failure because you weren’t brave enough to send the real shit
16. to overcome feelings of failure: go back to step 1.
I don’t know. I just kind of stare a lot.
I don’t know. I just kind of stare a lot.
haha
i stare a lot too
haha
i stare a lot too
FUNK AS PUCK
FUNK AS PUCK
hahahaha everybody’s answers are really good
i put my hand in my mouth a lot, that’s “concentration”
hahahaha everybody’s answers are really good
i put my hand in my mouth a lot, that’s “concentration”