I don’t give a fuck: I like Magic. I haven’t played in at least ten years, but even just off my memories of the game up to, oh, 18, and later in the online versions, I will attest that MtG is the greatest and most intricately strategic and customizable game ever created. Fuck chess and backgammon. Magic is a universe where not only are there so many possible utilities under the array of spells and creatures you can involve in any given match, but also a ridiculous level of inner-tuning, logic, semantic, prediction, counteractivity, and innovation of nuts and bolts. It is the ultimate rendering of a game where to be successful you must decide your approach, construct your apparatus, and operate that apparatus under the manner of luck and the countless structures employed by each opponent. There are so many fucking spells.
Today I’m bored again and found my old archives of cards I have left after I sold most of them off when I quit in high school. I decided to pull 3 cards out at random and write about their utility. It seems to me to have a lot to do with manipulation of other entities, like words and systems of words.
Oh, and also, kiss my ass, Magic rules.
Fear
Fear seems like a pretty worthless card. It’s an Enchant Creature, which means that you are directly manipulating an entity that already must be in play in order the spell to even be cast. Indirect spells can take up space in your hand if you get them at the wrong time, as a starting draw of cards give you seven to deal with and you redraw one each turn by default (there are ways to influence how many cards you draw). This card doesn’t get used a lot, though I can remember specific settings where it actually did a lot of damage in that it wasn’t expected, and therefore became harder to defend against. If you aren’t used to people playing a card like Fear, then suddenly not being able to defend against an attack (unless you happen to be playing black, which is a popular color as it has a wide range of damaging and manipulative spells), then you can easily find yourself going down in a matter of turns, particularly if your opponent enchants a creature with a strength of 4 or 5 or greater (meaning they are doing 4 to 5 damage to you each turn at least, unless you can stop it, and each player only begins with 20). Thus, out of nowhere a card that most people would never consider using can win you the game in the right situation.
Crumble
It’s nice to be able to destroy a thing. Green doesn’t have a lot of these kinds of destructive spells, as green is more about regeneration and multiplication than it is aiming to wreak havoc. In this instance the spell has the added benefit of giving you extra life in addition to destroying the opponent’s object, which is pretty nice considering it only costs one green mana. The term ‘bury’ here is different than simply ‘destroy’ as when an object is buried in Magic it can’t be brought back into play later. Most cards, after being used (if they are spells) or destroyed (if they are active cards like creatures or artifacts, which go into play until they are destroyed) go to the graveyard, a discard pile of inactive cards. There are many sorts of spells that involve bringing cards back out of the graveyard by reanimation or returning used spells to your hand for use again, thus making the graveyard more of a purgatory than a dead zone. Some decks make really amazing use of having the graveyard not be a point where the spells end, but a way of altering the space between the unplayed cards in hand and those in play (for instance, a popular strategy is to discard creatures that cost a ton to cast early on and then use simple spells of reanimation to bring them into play before there is much going on on the board, making them even more monstrous, and sometimes ending the game really early just because there is no way to stop the spell that you weren’t expecting to see in play until much later). Still, Crumble isn’t going to win you any wars: it’s too nice. I’d be surprised to see someone play this bitch.
Lifetap
There are lots of weird Enchantment spells in Magic, which by design go into play and stay there, often altering fundamental rules either for your benefit solely, to the detriment of your opponent, or for some, universal bonuses that give the same effect to both players. In this instance of the cards that affect universally, many people then use those kinds of enchantments in cohesion with other cards that make the affect valuable for them, and a detriment to the opponent. For instance, the card Howling Mine is an artifact that when in play lets each player draw an extra card during the draw phase of their turn (usually at the start of a player’s turn, you draw 1 card). This usually accelerates game play and gets a lot more spells involved, since both players are cycling through cards faster. Using Howling Mine with a card like Black Vice, which deals 1 point of damage at the beginning of your opponent’s turn for each card more than 4 they have in their hand, then makes it bad for them to be drawing more unless they can get all the cards out of their hands by casting them to keep from being damaged. You, on the other hand, just get a bunch of cards (though by default you are only allowed to have 7 cards in your hand at a time, unless you have cards in play that extend this). One popular and effective deck I remember seeing a bit was using multiple Howling Mines and multiple Black Vices (though you are only allowed 4 max of any card in your deck), letting the damage flow and your own spells come into your hand like wildfire.
Anyway, this particular Enchantment, Lifetap, is another you wouldn’t see in play very often, mainly because it is useless unless your opponent is playing Green (forests produce green mana). Against an opponent running a red/black deck, this card would be a waste. You might, though, see it show up in tournaments as a part of a player’s sideboard, a set of 15 cards you are allowed to bring along with your main deck, to switch out for other cards in a series (most matches in Magic tournaments are best two out of three). Thus, if you found your opponent was playing green, you might slip this in the second game and cause him the dilemma of giving you life every time he uses his land to cast spells, entering into a weird economy duality where you are working to kill the opponent, and the only way is to do so by casting spells and creatures, but also then needing to weigh how much value you can get out of the card being cast and how much life the opponent is getting.
Many cards like this in Magic are interesting in the way they force the sedimentary logic of the game to be changed on the fly. Blue in particular is about control, manipulation: it often is the centerpiece of logic based decks over decks that want to fistfight. Though many decks operate on pure damage infliction (they use spells that deal direct damage to the opponent, and mean creatures that attack fast and have good strength points), often the decks that do really well in tournaments are those that so constrain the way the game operates by changing the rules to operate in their favor and against the opponent, that sometimes it becomes an inevitability that you can no longer stop your opponent, even if you aren’t dead yet. Watching those logic systems develop by layering of rules and interaction of cards being played together in increasingly intricate ways can be fascinating. The cards can work alone, but the more you are able to have a deck be a cohesive structure, where each operation interlocks in surprising or powerful ways with the other, the more intimidating and difficult to counteract you can be. I’ve seen decks whose interior logic I would call a work of art, and definitely a creation outside the bounds of what is being given.
Tags: magic the gathering
beautiful lessons of poetry pouring out of this
beautiful lessons of poetry pouring out of this
Magic is the shit. Good job…
Magic is the shit. Good job…
I thought these were cassette tapes at first. Shows how much I know about these cards and stuff.
What do you think about the Eno/Schmidt Oblique Strategies? I love them–should I look into tarot-y-type things, too?
I thought these were cassette tapes at first. Shows how much I know about these cards and stuff.
What do you think about the Eno/Schmidt Oblique Strategies? I love them–should I look into tarot-y-type things, too?
COUNTERSPELL
Keep the change, you filthy animal
COUNTERSPELL
Keep the change, you filthy animal
haha
i liked magic, i think i started playing when ‘revised edition’ was just coming out
i remember seeing ‘beta’ packs i think but not knowing what they were
i had a green/red deck and a white/blue deck
i think in middle school someone, like, put me in a headlock because i got a ‘revised edition’ ‘fork’ in a pack and they wanted it or were angry at me or something
my mom saw and was angry, i think
haha
i liked magic, i think i started playing when ‘revised edition’ was just coming out
i remember seeing ‘beta’ packs i think but not knowing what they were
i had a green/red deck and a white/blue deck
i think in middle school someone, like, put me in a headlock because i got a ‘revised edition’ ‘fork’ in a pack and they wanted it or were angry at me or something
my mom saw and was angry, i think
magic, poetry made fat
love eno, and the OS. i wish i had some to hang on my wall next to the magics
magic, poetry made fat
love eno, and the OS. i wish i had some to hang on my wall next to the magics
i remember fork used to sell for like $15-$20, it was one of the best revised. i think revised is when i started too.
goddamn it i want to play magic again
i remember fork used to sell for like $15-$20, it was one of the best revised. i think revised is when i started too.
goddamn it i want to play magic again
you still have any cards? i bet we could start a online lit magic circle. i want to go pee with it
you still have any cards? i bet we could start a online lit magic circle. i want to go pee with it
just remembered ‘serra angel’ and some blue thing that was 4/6
something called ‘crawl worm’ or something that was 6/4
lol…
just remembered ‘serra angel’ and some blue thing that was 4/6
something called ‘crawl worm’ or something that was 6/4
lol…
i vaguely remember something in ‘ice age’ that sold for like $30, or was listed as $30
something black maybe
i vaguely remember something in ‘ice age’ that sold for like $30, or was listed as $30
something black maybe
I used to love Magic back in the day. I’ve got a deck somewhere, probably stashed away at my parents’ house, under some books and clothes, hidden, waiting to be found.
I used to love Magic back in the day. I’ve got a deck somewhere, probably stashed away at my parents’ house, under some books and clothes, hidden, waiting to be found.
craw wurm. a 6/4 green beatstick, as the kids called them.
craw wurm. a 6/4 green beatstick, as the kids called them.
dude. as evidenced by my MTG essay in Hobart, I fuckin’ loved magic. I’ve still got most of my cards. I talked to a dude who still plays and there have been a lot of new mechanics lately which have, in some cases, changed the game pretty dramatically.
dude. as evidenced by my MTG essay in Hobart, I fuckin’ loved magic. I’ve still got most of my cards. I talked to a dude who still plays and there have been a lot of new mechanics lately which have, in some cases, changed the game pretty dramatically.
I prefer the Lovecraft card game
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/458568
I prefer the Lovecraft card game
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/458568
Absolutely makes my day. Used to make one of my parents drive me to the mall on Sunday mornings at 8AM to get my 12 year old ass beatdown in tournaments.
Shivan Dragon anyone? 5/5 flying, whaaaat
love that essay.
yeah man i cant follow it anymore. i tried to play online even like a couple years ago and 13 yr old were killing me before i even took a turn or 2, using all these hyper moves. fucking nuts.
Absolutely makes my day. Used to make one of my parents drive me to the mall on Sunday mornings at 8AM to get my 12 year old ass beatdown in tournaments.
Shivan Dragon anyone? 5/5 flying, whaaaat
love that essay.
yeah man i cant follow it anymore. i tried to play online even like a couple years ago and 13 yr old were killing me before i even took a turn or 2, using all these hyper moves. fucking nuts.
still have my cards.
still have my cards.
which were all acquired by illegal means.
i wasn’t a middle class nerd but i sure wanted to be one—at times.
which were all acquired by illegal means.
i wasn’t a middle class nerd but i sure wanted to be one—at times.
Mike, I regularly teach that essay in my classes. You ought to make a book out of it, just so more people can read it. It’s one of the best nonfiction things I’ve ever read.
Mike, I regularly teach that essay in my classes. You ought to make a book out of it, just so more people can read it. It’s one of the best nonfiction things I’ve ever read.
Necropotence!
Necropotence!
I’ve been wanting to frame my sole copy of armaggedon and hang it over my writing desk:
DESTROY ALL LANDS.
I’ve been wanting to frame my sole copy of armaggedon and hang it over my writing desk:
DESTROY ALL LANDS.
i was a trekkie
i was a trekkie
Garbage pail kids.
Garbage pail kids.
shit girl what you know bout garbage pail kids?
shit girl what you know bout garbage pail kids?
Can’t remember what happened to them.
Going to look into playing online. Seems like it wouldn’t be as fun as playing with physical cards.
BTW, Black Lotus’ are like $2K. Wonder if I can get one in the online game.
Can’t remember what happened to them.
Going to look into playing online. Seems like it wouldn’t be as fun as playing with physical cards.
BTW, Black Lotus’ are like $2K. Wonder if I can get one in the online game.
Leviathan. 10/10 and like 10x mana to bring it out. Had a blue/white deck that upset people.
Leviathan. 10/10 and like 10x mana to bring it out. Had a blue/white deck that upset people.
I was just at GENCON, saw a lot of your people, Blake. Good times. Was more of a D&D guy myself.
I was just at GENCON, saw a lot of your people, Blake. Good times. Was more of a D&D guy myself.
I’ve been waiting for this day.
(also: Ned V. and I played a four-headed giant tournament a few months ago; the bell curve is nuts, magic freaks, and we lost 3/3; in magic, familiarity is dominance)
I’ve been waiting for this day.
(also: Ned V. and I played a four-headed giant tournament a few months ago; the bell curve is nuts, magic freaks, and we lost 3/3; in magic, familiarity is dominance)
Wow, so much detail. So I usually just read on here, but here goes posting. I never played, nor did my friends, but a few months ago, we all got pretty intense about MTG. Actually one friend hadn’t really heard Bowie eiher, so there was a lot of Bowie plus MTG this summer. My brother got boxes of cards because everyone’s reaction to MTG seems to be, “really, you’re playing now? take my cards.” so we all made decks and played from there. I think he got like 500+ cards. It’s fizzled since I moved across the country 3 days ago and the web/computer version is somehow a turn off.
Wow, so much detail. So I usually just read on here, but here goes posting. I never played, nor did my friends, but a few months ago, we all got pretty intense about MTG. Actually one friend hadn’t really heard Bowie eiher, so there was a lot of Bowie plus MTG this summer. My brother got boxes of cards because everyone’s reaction to MTG seems to be, “really, you’re playing now? take my cards.” so we all made decks and played from there. I think he got like 500+ cards. It’s fizzled since I moved across the country 3 days ago and the web/computer version is somehow a turn off.
Thanks, K. That’s high praise coming from you
A book, eh? I’ve been thinking of trying to piece together a book of essays on pop culture and my sad existence. Hm. Maybe I should put more effort into such a thing.
Thanks, K. That’s high praise coming from you
A book, eh? I’ve been thinking of trying to piece together a book of essays on pop culture and my sad existence. Hm. Maybe I should put more effort into such a thing.
yeah, i hear you.
I found an MTG game for Xbox Live (you download it for like $10) which has most of the feel of the old game without the new bullshit. and maybe it’s the old man in me, but it seemed purer back then somehow. or maybe it’s the desire not to be “pwned” by a tween.
(am I using that right? pwn? tween?)
also, thanks for the love.
yeah, i hear you.
I found an MTG game for Xbox Live (you download it for like $10) which has most of the feel of the old game without the new bullshit. and maybe it’s the old man in me, but it seemed purer back then somehow. or maybe it’s the desire not to be “pwned” by a tween.
(am I using that right? pwn? tween?)
also, thanks for the love.
beautiful lessons of poetry pouring out of this
mike the game sort of sucks i thought.
mike the game sort of sucks i thought.
Magic is the shit. Good job…
I thought these were cassette tapes at first. Shows how much I know about these cards and stuff.
What do you think about the Eno/Schmidt Oblique Strategies? I love them–should I look into tarot-y-type things, too?
COUNTERSPELL
Keep the change, you filthy animal
haha
i liked magic, i think i started playing when ‘revised edition’ was just coming out
i remember seeing ‘beta’ packs i think but not knowing what they were
i had a green/red deck and a white/blue deck
i think in middle school someone, like, put me in a headlock because i got a ‘revised edition’ ‘fork’ in a pack and they wanted it or were angry at me or something
my mom saw and was angry, i think
magic, poetry made fat
love eno, and the OS. i wish i had some to hang on my wall next to the magics
i remember fork used to sell for like $15-$20, it was one of the best revised. i think revised is when i started too.
goddamn it i want to play magic again
you still have any cards? i bet we could start a online lit magic circle. i want to go pee with it
Great story regarding Magic:
I was walking from my friend’s apartment to another friend’s apartment right after everyone had left my small college town for the summer. I was staying in town to work.
At the main intersection in town, two cop cars were surrounding two friends of mind, who were in the middle of the street, doing something that looked mysterious. My aversion to cops overrode my curiosity, so I just continued on my way.
The next day, I ran into one of these friends on the steps of the library, and lo, he was sifting through more than 3,000 Magic cards that someone had thrown out of a car window the evening before. It took more than an hour for him to collect them off of the street.
I was in a shit mood, so he let me pick some of my favorites. To this day, I carry this one in my wallet with me wherever I go: http://www.collectorscache.com/StoreModules/ProductImages/137/v_inspiration.jpg
Magic does rule. Thanks for the great post.
Great story regarding Magic:
I was walking from my friend’s apartment to another friend’s apartment right after everyone had left my small college town for the summer. I was staying in town to work.
At the main intersection in town, two cop cars were surrounding two friends of mind, who were in the middle of the street, doing something that looked mysterious. My aversion to cops overrode my curiosity, so I just continued on my way.
The next day, I ran into one of these friends on the steps of the library, and lo, he was sifting through more than 3,000 Magic cards that someone had thrown out of a car window the evening before. It took more than an hour for him to collect them off of the street.
I was in a shit mood, so he let me pick some of my favorites. To this day, I carry this one in my wallet with me wherever I go: http://www.collectorscache.com/StoreModules/ProductImages/137/v_inspiration.jpg
Magic does rule. Thanks for the great post.
just remembered ‘serra angel’ and some blue thing that was 4/6
something called ‘crawl worm’ or something that was 6/4
lol…
i vaguely remember something in ‘ice age’ that sold for like $30, or was listed as $30
something black maybe
I used to love Magic back in the day. I’ve got a deck somewhere, probably stashed away at my parents’ house, under some books and clothes, hidden, waiting to be found.
craw wurm. a 6/4 green beatstick, as the kids called them.
dude. as evidenced by my MTG essay in Hobart, I fuckin’ loved magic. I’ve still got most of my cards. I talked to a dude who still plays and there have been a lot of new mechanics lately which have, in some cases, changed the game pretty dramatically.
I played the Gundam CCG and then Yugioh for something to do with my little brothers. Magic was always super-intimidating. Those weren’t very good but we had fun.
I played the Gundam CCG and then Yugioh for something to do with my little brothers. Magic was always super-intimidating. Those weren’t very good but we had fun.
I prefer the Lovecraft card game
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/458568
Absolutely makes my day. Used to make one of my parents drive me to the mall on Sunday mornings at 8AM to get my 12 year old ass beatdown in tournaments.
Shivan Dragon anyone? 5/5 flying, whaaaat
love that essay.
yeah man i cant follow it anymore. i tried to play online even like a couple years ago and 13 yr old were killing me before i even took a turn or 2, using all these hyper moves. fucking nuts.
still have my cards.
which were all acquired by illegal means.
i wasn’t a middle class nerd but i sure wanted to be one—at times.
Mike, I regularly teach that essay in my classes. You ought to make a book out of it, just so more people can read it. It’s one of the best nonfiction things I’ve ever read.
Necropotence!
I’ve been wanting to frame my sole copy of armaggedon and hang it over my writing desk:
DESTROY ALL LANDS.
“In this instance the spell has the added benefit of giving you extra life in addition to destroying the opponent’s object”
Wrong! If you use Crumble to destroy your opponent’s artifact they gain the life.
Step your Magic game up Blake
“In this instance the spell has the added benefit of giving you extra life in addition to destroying the opponent’s object”
Wrong! If you use Crumble to destroy your opponent’s artifact they gain the life.
Step your Magic game up Blake
i was a trekkie
I played Magic for a few months during the Ice Age expansion, but it wasn’t nerdy enough so I switched to Star Wars. Folks, there are few sights in this world as beautiful as watching an IG-88 manned AT-AT attack Lando at Uncle Owen’s Farm on Tatooine.
I played Magic for a few months during the Ice Age expansion, but it wasn’t nerdy enough so I switched to Star Wars. Folks, there are few sights in this world as beautiful as watching an IG-88 manned AT-AT attack Lando at Uncle Owen’s Farm on Tatooine.
Garbage pail kids.
shit girl what you know bout garbage pail kids?
I need that too. Whoever owns the copyright on those cards (Wizards of the Coast, right?) should release a bunch of prints with new artists’ takes on the original illustrations.
I need that too. Whoever owns the copyright on those cards (Wizards of the Coast, right?) should release a bunch of prints with new artists’ takes on the original illustrations.
Can’t remember what happened to them.
Going to look into playing online. Seems like it wouldn’t be as fun as playing with physical cards.
BTW, Black Lotus’ are like $2K. Wonder if I can get one in the online game.
Leviathan. 10/10 and like 10x mana to bring it out. Had a blue/white deck that upset people.
I was just at GENCON, saw a lot of your people, Blake. Good times. Was more of a D&D guy myself.
I’ve been waiting for this day.
(also: Ned V. and I played a four-headed giant tournament a few months ago; the bell curve is nuts, magic freaks, and we lost 3/3; in magic, familiarity is dominance)
Wow, so much detail. So I usually just read on here, but here goes posting. I never played, nor did my friends, but a few months ago, we all got pretty intense about MTG. Actually one friend hadn’t really heard Bowie eiher, so there was a lot of Bowie plus MTG this summer. My brother got boxes of cards because everyone’s reaction to MTG seems to be, “really, you’re playing now? take my cards.” so we all made decks and played from there. I think he got like 500+ cards. It’s fizzled since I moved across the country 3 days ago and the web/computer version is somehow a turn off.
Thanks, K. That’s high praise coming from you
A book, eh? I’ve been thinking of trying to piece together a book of essays on pop culture and my sad existence. Hm. Maybe I should put more effort into such a thing.
yeah, i hear you.
I found an MTG game for Xbox Live (you download it for like $10) which has most of the feel of the old game without the new bullshit. and maybe it’s the old man in me, but it seemed purer back then somehow. or maybe it’s the desire not to be “pwned” by a tween.
(am I using that right? pwn? tween?)
also, thanks for the love.
mike the game sort of sucks i thought.
THEY’VE BEEN DOING THAT
MAGIC RULES
THEY’VE BEEN DOING THAT
MAGIC RULES
Great story regarding Magic:
I was walking from my friend’s apartment to another friend’s apartment right after everyone had left my small college town for the summer. I was staying in town to work.
At the main intersection in town, two cop cars were surrounding two friends of mind, who were in the middle of the street, doing something that looked mysterious. My aversion to cops overrode my curiosity, so I just continued on my way.
The next day, I ran into one of these friends on the steps of the library, and lo, he was sifting through more than 3,000 Magic cards that someone had thrown out of a car window the evening before. It took more than an hour for him to collect them off of the street.
I was in a shit mood, so he let me pick some of my favorites. To this day, I carry this one in my wallet with me wherever I go: http://www.collectorscache.com/StoreModules/ProductImages/137/v_inspiration.jpg
Magic does rule. Thanks for the great post.
ZZZIPP NOTICED THAT AS WELL BUT THEN IT SEEMED LIKE BLAKE UNDERSTOOD THE CARD IN THAT WAY JUST DID NOT WORD IT CORRECTLY. CRUMBLE WOULD BE AN INCREDIBLE CARD IF IT GAINED THE CASTER THE LIFE FROM AN OPPONENT’S ARTIFACT.
THE GAME OF MAGIC WOULD BE UNBALANCED.
ZZZIPP NOTICED THAT AS WELL BUT THEN IT SEEMED LIKE BLAKE UNDERSTOOD THE CARD IN THAT WAY JUST DID NOT WORD IT CORRECTLY. CRUMBLE WOULD BE AN INCREDIBLE CARD IF IT GAINED THE CASTER THE LIFE FROM AN OPPONENT’S ARTIFACT.
THE GAME OF MAGIC WOULD BE UNBALANCED.
Magic…ahhh.
Magic…ahhh.
I played the Gundam CCG and then Yugioh for something to do with my little brothers. Magic was always super-intimidating. Those weren’t very good but we had fun.
I wrote about Magic for my high school newspaper and my mother got worried about my soul.
I wrote about Magic for my high school newspaper and my mother got worried about my soul.
Which is to say, did anyone else experience any weird D&D-type paranoia from parents or other authority figures about this game? I had a friend get kicked out of a house he was staying in for harboring magic cards.
That house was my parents’ house!
Maybe it was just my parents.
Which is to say, did anyone else experience any weird D&D-type paranoia from parents or other authority figures about this game? I had a friend get kicked out of a house he was staying in for harboring magic cards.
That house was my parents’ house!
Maybe it was just my parents.
“In this instance the spell has the added benefit of giving you extra life in addition to destroying the opponent’s object”
Wrong! If you use Crumble to destroy your opponent’s artifact they gain the life.
Step your Magic game up Blake
maybe. my 11yr old brother hosts d&d every friday at my parents’ house.
maybe. my 11yr old brother hosts d&d every friday at my parents’ house.
I played Magic for a few months during the Ice Age expansion, but it wasn’t nerdy enough so I switched to Star Wars. Folks, there are few sights in this world as beautiful as watching an IG-88 manned AT-AT attack Lando at Uncle Owen’s Farm on Tatooine.
when I played around high school age and a little before, that was part of what I liked about it, how it felt nearly occult but really not even close, it was the perfect level of “safe danger” for me when I was still going to church every sunday with my grandma. my parents didn’t care, but my grandparents didn’t really approve, especially my jehovah’s witness grandparent’s. those grandparents are the ones who broke it to me that santa wasn’t real. my grandfather took me out to his truck and told me that telling your children santa claus was real was a lie and a sin, then he picked up an empty soda can from the floor of the truck and crumpled it in his hand, saying that if I told lies, even about santa claus, I would turn to dust, just like that can. I remember thinking that the can might not turn to dust, but the message was delivered. he didn’t say I would go to hell though. I don’t think they believe in hell.
when I played around high school age and a little before, that was part of what I liked about it, how it felt nearly occult but really not even close, it was the perfect level of “safe danger” for me when I was still going to church every sunday with my grandma. my parents didn’t care, but my grandparents didn’t really approve, especially my jehovah’s witness grandparent’s. those grandparents are the ones who broke it to me that santa wasn’t real. my grandfather took me out to his truck and told me that telling your children santa claus was real was a lie and a sin, then he picked up an empty soda can from the floor of the truck and crumpled it in his hand, saying that if I told lies, even about santa claus, I would turn to dust, just like that can. I remember thinking that the can might not turn to dust, but the message was delivered. he didn’t say I would go to hell though. I don’t think they believe in hell.
I need that too. Whoever owns the copyright on those cards (Wizards of the Coast, right?) should release a bunch of prints with new artists’ takes on the original illustrations.
agreed. i got sucked into the web one for like a month a few years ago, but it’s just not the same. no nerds to chill with.
agreed. i got sucked into the web one for like a month a few years ago, but it’s just not the same. no nerds to chill with.
oh whooops
i dumb
but still
oh whooops
i dumb
but still
THEY’VE BEEN DOING THAT
MAGIC RULES
ZZZIPP NOTICED THAT AS WELL BUT THEN IT SEEMED LIKE BLAKE UNDERSTOOD THE CARD IN THAT WAY JUST DID NOT WORD IT CORRECTLY. CRUMBLE WOULD BE AN INCREDIBLE CARD IF IT GAINED THE CASTER THE LIFE FROM AN OPPONENT’S ARTIFACT.
THE GAME OF MAGIC WOULD BE UNBALANCED.
crumble has since been replaced by the superior Oxidize, which was one green mana for just “destroy target artifact”. It was a response to the Mirrodin block, which featured super powerful artifacts like the now banned Arcbound Ravager.
Pwn!
crumble has since been replaced by the superior Oxidize, which was one green mana for just “destroy target artifact”. It was a response to the Mirrodin block, which featured super powerful artifacts like the now banned Arcbound Ravager.
Pwn!
My mom and step dad called me up a few years ago (i got into MTG way late) to say I needed to get my cards I’d accidentally left at their house or they were going to burn them (as they were gateways into the occult).
My mom and step dad called me up a few years ago (i got into MTG way late) to say I needed to get my cards I’d accidentally left at their house or they were going to burn them (as they were gateways into the occult).
Magic…ahhh.
I wrote about Magic for my high school newspaper and my mother got worried about my soul.
Which is to say, did anyone else experience any weird D&D-type paranoia from parents or other authority figures about this game? I had a friend get kicked out of a house he was staying in for harboring magic cards.
That house was my parents’ house!
Maybe it was just my parents.
maybe. my 11yr old brother hosts d&d every friday at my parents’ house.
when I played around high school age and a little before, that was part of what I liked about it, how it felt nearly occult but really not even close, it was the perfect level of “safe danger” for me when I was still going to church every sunday with my grandma. my parents didn’t care, but my grandparents didn’t really approve, especially my jehovah’s witness grandparent’s. those grandparents are the ones who broke it to me that santa wasn’t real. my grandfather took me out to his truck and told me that telling your children santa claus was real was a lie and a sin, then he picked up an empty soda can from the floor of the truck and crumpled it in his hand, saying that if I told lies, even about santa claus, I would turn to dust, just like that can. I remember thinking that the can might not turn to dust, but the message was delivered. he didn’t say I would go to hell though. I don’t think they believe in hell.
agreed. i got sucked into the web one for like a month a few years ago, but it’s just not the same. no nerds to chill with.
oh whooops
i dumb
but still
crumble has since been replaced by the superior Oxidize, which was one green mana for just “destroy target artifact”. It was a response to the Mirrodin block, which featured super powerful artifacts like the now banned Arcbound Ravager.
Pwn!
My mom and step dad called me up a few years ago (i got into MTG way late) to say I needed to get my cards I’d accidentally left at their house or they were going to burn them (as they were gateways into the occult).
I played that shit when I was a kid! Damn, sort of forgot about Star Wars cards. I wonder if anyone still plays that.
I played that shit when I was a kid! Damn, sort of forgot about Star Wars cards. I wonder if anyone still plays that.
Count me in. I loved Magic back in the day. I worked at a comic shop that held tournaments and shit. I had a mean elf deck.
Count me in. I loved Magic back in the day. I worked at a comic shop that held tournaments and shit. I had a mean elf deck.
Trey–that sounds awful, but it is also a great story.
Trey–that sounds awful, but it is also a great story.
The ridiculous thing about MTG in my case was that my parents were cool with other cultural objects involving magic. I think they just understood cards less well than they understood movies. Anything you could control and interact with kind of reminded them of a Ouija board. They would have done the same thing as your parents, though, Mike.
The ridiculous thing about MTG in my case was that my parents were cool with other cultural objects involving magic. I think they just understood cards less well than they understood movies. Anything you could control and interact with kind of reminded them of a Ouija board. They would have done the same thing as your parents, though, Mike.
I had cards and usually played with a green/red deck, only against the neighbor kids though. grizzly burrrs and goblin raiders on the quick offense y’all.
I had cards and usually played with a green/red deck, only against the neighbor kids though. grizzly burrrs and goblin raiders on the quick offense y’all.
I played that shit when I was a kid! Damn, sort of forgot about Star Wars cards. I wonder if anyone still plays that.
Count me in. I loved Magic back in the day. I worked at a comic shop that held tournaments and shit. I had a mean elf deck.
Trey–that sounds awful, but it is also a great story.
The ridiculous thing about MTG in my case was that my parents were cool with other cultural objects involving magic. I think they just understood cards less well than they understood movies. Anything you could control and interact with kind of reminded them of a Ouija board. They would have done the same thing as your parents, though, Mike.
I had cards and usually played with a green/red deck, only against the neighbor kids though. grizzly burrrs and goblin raiders on the quick offense y’all.
Jester’s Cap, baby.
Jester’s Cap, baby.
Definitely went to a card shop in town a few months ago for a prerelease tournament, being about five years out of practice, and got beat by fourteen-year-olds. I wish I’d been that smart at that age.
Great post.
Definitely went to a card shop in town a few months ago for a prerelease tournament, being about five years out of practice, and got beat by fourteen-year-olds. I wish I’d been that smart at that age.
Great post.
Jester’s Cap, baby.
Definitely went to a card shop in town a few months ago for a prerelease tournament, being about five years out of practice, and got beat by fourteen-year-olds. I wish I’d been that smart at that age.
Great post.
Blake, I only just came across this. I, too, love Magic, and don’t care who knows it (or would mock me for it).
I still intend to challenge you to a duel the next time I see you. Bring a deck with you to Chicago!
Blake, I only just came across this. I, too, love Magic, and don’t care who knows it (or would mock me for it).
I still intend to challenge you to a duel the next time I see you. Bring a deck with you to Chicago!
I actually still follow the game. I discovered at some point I was more interested in its theory and design space than in actually playing it. …Although the other day I did come across a young couple playing it at my favorite coffeehouse. I traded numbers with them and intend to sit down with them and play at some point…
I actually still follow the game. I discovered at some point I was more interested in its theory and design space than in actually playing it. …Although the other day I did come across a young couple playing it at my favorite coffeehouse. I traded numbers with them and intend to sit down with them and play at some point…
Blake, I only just came across this. I, too, love Magic, and don’t care who knows it (or would mock me for it).
I still intend to challenge you to a duel the next time I see you. Bring a deck with you to Chicago!
I actually still follow the game. I discovered at some point I was more interested in its theory and design space than in actually playing it. …Although the other day I did come across a young couple playing it at my favorite coffeehouse. I traded numbers with them and intend to sit down with them and play at some point…
[…] different means. We could also liken these two works to Blake Butler’s HTMLGIANT post “Magic the Gathering: Fear, Crumble, Lifetap” (2010), in which he wrote extemporaneously on three cards pulled randomly from his […]
Yeah, similar experience. I played up till about 23, and just started to play again at 31 starting with the magic game using the steam gaming platform. So much has changed its ridiculous. Then i went out in a moment of haste (not trying to make a magic pun) and bought almost 200 dollars on cards. The pathetic thing is i have no one to play with. I do have an almost 100 dollar black zombie deck that’s sick as hell though. Who wants to be my first victim? :)
[…] anthology of Magic-based writing. At the very least I can link to pieces, like Blake’s “Magic the Gathering: Fear, Crumble, Lifetap.” If you know of more, please let me […]