Craft Notes
Unhumorous Punchlines
The MotherThe girl wrote a story. “But how much better it would be if you wrote a novel,” said her mother. The girl built a doll-house. “But how much better if it were a real house,” her mother said. The made a small pillow for her father. “But wouldn’t a quilt be more practical,” said her mother. The girl dug a small hole in the garden. “But how much better if you dug a large hole,” said her mother. The girl dug a large hole and went to sleep in it. “But how much better if you slept forever,” said her mother.
“The Mother,” a short piece from Lydia Davis’s Break it Down, perfectly demonstrates, for me, the unhumorous punchline where the last line and components leading up to it operate as a joke, but aren’t funny. Punchlines at their best are oblique and unexpected; it’s the minor epiphany of “getting it” that makes them so visceral — keyword here, because what begins in the brain ends in the gut.
Or, from Norman Lock’s Grim Tales:
When he was struck down by his wife’s lover, the scythe moaned in the wheat. In the kitchen, cutting open a loaf, she dropped her knife as the blood spilled out the bread’s fresh wounds.
These actually remind me of haikus; not so much formally, but the mental architecture of their agenda — like the build up and the blast. Oh, and speaking of haiku, I’ll leave you with one of my faves, by Basho:
My eyes following
until the bird lost at sea
found a small island
I love how we follow the horizon of each line down to the semiotic island of “island.” It’s like our eyes are the bird. I’m not laughing, and that’s just fine.
Tags: Basho, Lydia Davis, norman lock
“the mother” reminds me of so many russell edson poems. i think he’s the master of the un-humorous punchline.
“the mother” reminds me of so many russell edson poems. i think he’s the master of the un-humorous punchline.
Last line punchlines? Start looking at those too close and a lot of flash/micro writers are in trouble.
Last line punchlines? Start looking at those too close and a lot of flash/micro writers are in trouble.
This is good. Looking at the rhetoric/frame/form involved. Understanding the text as a text, as constructed, artificicial, unnatural. I like it.
(running for cover)
What’s that, Bill? I can’t hear you.
(running for cover)
What’s that, Bill? I can’t hear you.
“But how much better if you slept forever,”…
I like the power, the build up, this thread that pulls you along, and in, closer, only to turn the corner, and give you something else. I wouldn’t call this a TWIST per se, but I like the set up, and in the instance you posted up, the sing-song, almost nursery rhyme pacing and then the BAM dark, hard ending.
If done right, you don’t feel cheated, “OH, it was all a dream” or “OH he’s really a she” but more like “Oh man, you went there…wasn’t expecting that.” Or really, it was hinted at all along, and now it all finally gels, it comes together.
Good thread, good post. Curious to see what others say.
Peace,
Richard
“But how much better if you slept forever,”…
I like the power, the build up, this thread that pulls you along, and in, closer, only to turn the corner, and give you something else. I wouldn’t call this a TWIST per se, but I like the set up, and in the instance you posted up, the sing-song, almost nursery rhyme pacing and then the BAM dark, hard ending.
If done right, you don’t feel cheated, “OH, it was all a dream” or “OH he’s really a she” but more like “Oh man, you went there…wasn’t expecting that.” Or really, it was hinted at all along, and now it all finally gels, it comes together.
Good thread, good post. Curious to see what others say.
Peace,
Richard
Richard, fantastic insight. Exactly, it doesn’t feel like “GOTCHA!” That’s the real fine line about endings, earning them. Any schmo can lift back the curtain at the end and claim”Deus ex machina.” Folks like Lydia earn the endings, make you go back to re-read, take pleasure again in the build/craft/brilliance.
Richard, fantastic insight. Exactly, it doesn’t feel like “GOTCHA!” That’s the real fine line about endings, earning them. Any schmo can lift back the curtain at the end and claim”Deus ex machina.” Folks like Lydia earn the endings, make you go back to re-read, take pleasure again in the build/craft/brilliance.
bill, i see what you’re saying; there’s a lot of that in flash, and i’ve noticed a backlash against it, but i was thinking Stephen Dixon does the punchline a lot too, and his writing is really long and builds off the excessiveness of detail. i think it’s more about each line’s relation to each other than it is length.
bill, i see what you’re saying; there’s a lot of that in flash, and i’ve noticed a backlash against it, but i was thinking Stephen Dixon does the punchline a lot too, and his writing is really long and builds off the excessiveness of detail. i think it’s more about each line’s relation to each other than it is length.
There’s a pretty great George Saunders essay about D. Barthelme’s “The School” that, among other things, considers the story as being built much like a joke, with a series of escalations and then even more awesome, and unexpected, escalations.
There’s a pretty great George Saunders essay about D. Barthelme’s “The School” that, among other things, considers the story as being built much like a joke, with a series of escalations and then even more awesome, and unexpected, escalations.
Is that from “Amateurs”?
Is that from “Amateurs”?