Cribs: Literature special

Posted by @ 2:30 pm on February 14th, 2009


This post is somewhat of a stretch, but I figured (as a non-AWPer) it’s my duty to post something at least once before their long awaited return.

Last night I watched MTV Cribs, which I’m sure most, if not all of you know, is a show which follows celebrities around in their homes. The first home was 50 Cent’s; he lived in a mall-type castle, with a movie theatre, recording studio, complex lagoon system, and live strip-club (with actual bitches n’ shit — sorry, just keepin’ the vernacular fo realz). The rappers and basketball stars seem to live in the most oppulent places, which are (despite their success)¬†probably on lease. Anyways, I have¬† a point.

The next house we visited was the guy from Fall Out Boy. Now I don’t keep up with teen culture and the only reason I know this is because they kept showing excerpts of their videos. His house was more modest; he showed us his fridge, which was full of soda. (Celebrities don’t cook and their fridges are always just full of soda.) Then he showed us a stack of books (I recall seeing Celine’s Journey Into the End of the Night) and said something very predictably ‘deep-teenager’ pretentious like “nobody ever reads, this is my reading area.” I immediately thought, “finally, I’m semi-irritated and now have something lightly relevant to post on Htmlgiant.” (I’m serious, I actually thought that.)

This reminded me of Moby’s edition of Cribs a few years back, where he showed us his book-shelf full of literature and made some similar point about how people don’t read enough. This also pissed me off, but back then Htmlgiant didn’t exist yet so I punched a cushion. Now, I know this is a literary crowd, and some of you might also have a tiff with the philistines of this culture/country who don’t read, but let me just say that the ladder excerpt below is from 50 Cent, who employs parenthical rhetorical questions as a way to permeate the self-consciousness of the reader. The first two, from Moby and Fall out boy (respectively) simply blow chunks.

Walking down the street at night
The whole world just comes alight, woah
Moving through the air and you have no cares

Whoah, Whoah, Whoah [x2]

G-Unit (What)
We in here (What)
We can get the drama popping
We don’t care (What, what, what)
It’s going down (What)
‘Cause I’m around (What)

So can I get a What What or what?

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