April 17th, 2009 / 11:58 am
 Excerpts

Paragraphs I’d Chew My Way Through a Mold Barn To Have Written (2): Matthew Derby

derby

Super Flat Times, pg. 156, from ‘Instructions’

Before I lost my wife I had only ever hit one other person, and that was in junior high. His face is like a cotton swab in my memory now–he floats there in slow motion, holding a black book bag over his groin outside the locker room. It’s the Sesquicentennial and we’re getting out early to see the tall robots. I remember the scent of a person, the way it changes the air in a room. Louis Burney smelled like hair and lighter fluid–he came from the developments, where kids pissed out their territory and traveled in herds. I hit him in the gut–the reason isn’t so important anymore. The sound, though, is the thing. Like two sounds at once–and one of them is like the whole world just lifting up and folding over.

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26 Comments

  1. April 17th, 2009 / 4:18 pm pr—

      Matthew Derby is fucking amazing.

  2. April 17th, 2009 / 12:18 pm pr—

      Matthew Derby is fucking amazing.

  3. April 17th, 2009 / 4:56 pm Matthew Simmons—
  4. April 17th, 2009 / 12:56 pm Matthew Simmons—
  5. April 17th, 2009 / 5:06 pm Justin Taylor—

      One day a new Matthew Derby book will surface. And on that day there will be much rejoicing!

  6. April 17th, 2009 / 1:06 pm Justin Taylor—

      One day a new Matthew Derby book will surface. And on that day there will be much rejoicing!

  7. April 17th, 2009 / 5:24 pm Blake Butler—

      yes, please

  8. April 17th, 2009 / 1:24 pm Blake Butler—

      yes, please

  9. April 17th, 2009 / 5:34 pm KevinS—

      Hells yeah. Matthew Derby is awesome. When I first started reading his book, I was thinking, ‘Huh, this is a bit of a Ben Marcus rip-off,’ but then soon after, I was all like, ‘Um, this may be better than Ben Marcus. Holy shit!’ Matthew Derby is his own man after all.

  10. April 17th, 2009 / 1:34 pm KevinS—

      Hells yeah. Matthew Derby is awesome. When I first started reading his book, I was thinking, ‘Huh, this is a bit of a Ben Marcus rip-off,’ but then soon after, I was all like, ‘Um, this may be better than Ben Marcus. Holy shit!’ Matthew Derby is his own man after all.

  11. April 17th, 2009 / 5:59 pm Lincoln—

      I like this posting series.

  12. April 17th, 2009 / 1:59 pm Lincoln—

      I like this posting series.

  13. April 17th, 2009 / 6:00 pm Shya—

      I’ve heard him read from his next book, and it’s possibly even funnier than SFT. It’s also less showy.

  14. April 17th, 2009 / 2:00 pm Shya—

      I’ve heard him read from his next book, and it’s possibly even funnier than SFT. It’s also less showy.

  15. April 17th, 2009 / 6:27 pm billy—

      I honesty thought that hitting the person meant that he was “hitting that” (having sex). That would be more interesting, right on the gut and all.

  16. April 17th, 2009 / 2:27 pm billy—

      I honesty thought that hitting the person meant that he was “hitting that” (having sex). That would be more interesting, right on the gut and all.

  17. April 17th, 2009 / 6:31 pm Blake Butler—

      you would

  18. April 17th, 2009 / 2:31 pm Blake Butler—

      you would

  19. April 17th, 2009 / 6:39 pm Matthew Simmons—
  20. April 17th, 2009 / 2:39 pm Matthew Simmons—
  21. April 17th, 2009 / 7:19 pm Drew—

      I got this awesome email from Matt several years ago, which I’ll reprint for your enjoyment:

      Hey Drew –

      Scott Indrisek contacted you on my behalf about sports writing/”blogging” – Thanks for your response, which Scott forwarded to me. Basically I work for an ad agency and we’re doing a project this fall that will deal with college football. We need some experienced writers to generate a shitload of blog content over the course of the season, so if you’re interested I’ll definitely keep in touch…right now we’re still developing a budget, etc, and it all has to get approved.

      Thanks again for your help!

      Matt

  22. April 17th, 2009 / 3:19 pm Drew—

      I got this awesome email from Matt several years ago, which I’ll reprint for your enjoyment:

      Hey Drew –

      Scott Indrisek contacted you on my behalf about sports writing/”blogging” – Thanks for your response, which Scott forwarded to me. Basically I work for an ad agency and we’re doing a project this fall that will deal with college football. We need some experienced writers to generate a shitload of blog content over the course of the season, so if you’re interested I’ll definitely keep in touch…right now we’re still developing a budget, etc, and it all has to get approved.

      Thanks again for your help!

      Matt

  23. April 17th, 2009 / 7:29 pm Todd Colby—

      I love Matthew Derby. He is a rare bird.

  24. April 17th, 2009 / 3:29 pm Todd Colby—

      I love Matthew Derby. He is a rare bird.

  25. April 17th, 2009 / 7:31 pm Drew—

      Anyone have any pictures of mold barns?

  26. April 17th, 2009 / 3:31 pm Drew—

      Anyone have any pictures of mold barns?