July 17th, 2009 / 12:14 pm
Haut or not

Haut or Not: Ryan Call’s office

[Contributor Ryan Call teaches first year composition at University of Houston. He also teaches an introduction to fiction (the reading of/writing about, not the writing of) course as well.]

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Great, Ezra Pound has something to say about reading. Lay off the Latin Ezra and we’ll be just fine. And check out the 800-ish page “compact edition” of The Literary Experience. What exactly is a literary experience? Putting suntan lotion on pale Sylvia Plath? Removing lice from Tolstoy’s beard? Or just getting rejected by Paris Review? I need answers. Then there’s Ze “bro”ski, senior faculty at U. of Houston, who wants us to “think through theory,” which is like a kid going downhill on a bike with no brakes frantically writing out “3.1415926535…” And what the hell is Rhetorical Grammar? Would, its; — look some-thing like these? [hyperlink ryancall_asszit.jpeg] I bet Professor Call enjoys teaching Teaching One-to-one one-to-one to all those Sophomore girls one semester past that “not so fresh[man]” feeling.  It must be a good pedagogical life.

Rating: Not

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I’m not done. With all that African- and Asian- issue(s) whiny multi-cultural stuff floating around, it’s nice to finally see books on American Issues — like it’s really hard down there in Houston. These people got issues: How much gas do I put in the tank? Do I hit the drive-thru ATM or actually walk into the bank? Is there a hyphen in Wal-mart? What about an apostrophe in Walgreen’s? I hope so; one needs to know how to spell these awesome stores. Do I say “hi” to the Mexican or “hola”? Is it crotch rot or just time for a shower? Ha, Engaging Ideas — I got an idea Ryan: gonna call a blank ream of office paper “Choose Your Own Novel.” Call up those Booker Prize yanks, they’re just dying for a Beckett experience. The best thing Allyn & Bacon can do for writing is get rid of Allyn and give me some lettuce and tomato. I’m making a fucking BLT. That’s an acronym class, go check your handbook.

Rating: Not

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10 Comments

  1. Adam R

      haha ryan call is the worst!

  2. Adam R

      haha ryan call is the worst!

  3. Gene Morgan

      I hate him!

  4. Gene Morgan

      I hate him!

  5. Ken Baumann

      Boo! Hiss!

  6. Ken Baumann

      Boo! Hiss!

  7. gena

      fuck ryan! that asshole!

  8. gena

      fuck ryan! that asshole!

  9. Justin Taylor

      Dude he’s got ABC of Reading. Haut haut haut!

  10. Justin Taylor

      Dude he’s got ABC of Reading. Haut haut haut!