Mean
Theories on Religion & Writing Proficiency
From OkCupid blog
OkCupid, a stupid dating website that has yielded no results (my summary being “disappointed narcissist seeks unconditional love and ride to parents’ house”), has a blog that at least is not stupid. They matched up profile religious affiliation with writing proficiency. Without being politically correct and sparing any feelings, here are my theories about the results:
Protestant — Most Christians are from the south, and homeschooling is big there, and they learn from their own dumb moms. A lot of Koreans are Christians too, and they aren’t good at English. If you’re seeing Jesus in either toast or kimchi you’re screwed. [Recommended: Left Behind, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn]
Catholic — These people a pretty much Christians except they went to Rome once and got some multicultural experience. And a lot of Catholics in South America don’t have television, so they end up either player soccer or reading more. But overall, the Jesus thing makes them dumb. [Recommended: Mario Batali Cookbook]
Muslim — Really hardworking, dedicated, and serious group of people; problem is their countries are messed up with rubble and +100° weather, so they can’t concentrate. The women try to write well but there’s all that fabric in their face. [Recommended: the Koran]
Hindu — They’re sorta in the middle because, while they have more enlightened ways of thinking, they are also hindered by the +100° weather and often poo in the river. Poo in the river leads to Cholera, which can lead to a Nobel Prize in Literature. [Recommended: Love in the Time of Cholera; Siddhartha; Kama Sutra (Illustrated version).]
Agnostic — Okay, now we are getting into the smarter area. These people don’t know if there’s a god or not, which means they’re open-minded, but not hungry for knowledge. These people would rather eat ice cream than read Kant, which is okay. There are a lot of obese agnostics who can’t find their genitals. [Recommended: (I don’t know.)]
Jewish — Big surprise. Jews. We all know these people are bookish and smart, but they aren’t the smartest because they still believe in God. They don’t eat shellfish or fish with scales, which is all fish except catfish. I know this because a Jew was at my table during a Chinese banquet wedding and he dry-gagged during the lobster course. Anyways, enough about the Jews. [Recommended: Philip Roth, Nicole Krauss, New York City.]
Buddhist — Buddhists are the second smartest because they set up a system where they can feel morally superior w/o having to abstain from anything like in Lent or Ramadan. Buddhists can’t have sex, but it’s okay because ~95% of people who say they’re Buddhists are just liberal snobs who burn incense and got some Buddha statue at Chinatown or Pier 1. [Recommended: CA Prop 19, Initiative to Legalize Marijuana, “Howl,” Tropic of Cancer, Condé Nast Traveler.]
Atheist — Haha, I win. I’m the smartest and the most proficient writer because I don’t believe in God, like Nietzsche and Ayn Rand. You ever seen a picture of Ayn Rand and Nietzsche? Of course they don’t believe in God — their faces prove there’s no Intelligent Design, just evolution with a touch of entropy (the DNA of ugly). We rule. [Recommended: The Fountainhead, Cryptonomicon, Europe Central.]
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As for people whose writing proficiency is 10th grade or better, those people have Master’s degrees, and they believe in Satan.
1. “disappointed narcissist seeks unconditional love and ride to parents’ house”
2. what
3. Sir.
also, come on. I love a bit of Hopkins (the good stuff), but the guy was verifiably off his nut — read his sermons — and the fact is that the vast majority of his poetry is deeply mediocre.
I would suggest, incidentally, that anyone so lacking in basic reading comprehension abilities as not to be able to identify Chen’s “silliness” would most likely also be defeated by the general obliqueness of your post. “I know [. . .] but I’m not sure your other readers do” makes it sound like you’re genuinely concerned, but you don’t seem to be at all interested in elucidating matters for those other readers. what’s it all about?
hail satan
This post is properly labelled as mean.
language is the precursor of religion.
666
Ha ha. Thank God Tolstoy agreed. And Flannery O’Connor. And Gerard Manley H. Oh, they don’t? I know you’re silly but I’m not sure your other readers do. And I know 2 couples formed through okaycupid each lasting, so far, two-ish years.
disappointed narcissist
Rejected by oneself, or not attracted to oneself in the first place?
1. “disappointed narcissist seeks unconditional love and ride to parents’ house”
2. what
3. Sir.
also, come on. I love a bit of Hopkins (the good stuff), but the guy was verifiably off his nut — read his sermons — and the fact is that the vast majority of his poetry is deeply mediocre.
I would suggest, incidentally, that anyone so lacking in basic reading comprehension abilities as not to be able to identify Chen’s “silliness” would most likely also be defeated by the general obliqueness of your post. “I know [. . .] but I’m not sure your other readers do” makes it sound like you’re genuinely concerned, but you don’t seem to be at all interested in elucidating matters for those other readers. what’s it all about?
yawn
when will god bashing get tiresome? I thought we were in a post value world?
oh, and statistics, for those who care, only correlates the value of the average. Take a moment and google the IQ bell curves of men and women.
what i tell myself, not that it matters, is that individuals determine statistics, statistics don’t determine an individual…
oh and, if you care, there’s a troll about these parts.
you really don’t read any of these posts, do you?
Protestant should be broken out by denomination.
You should link back to the original post. To be honest, it’s much more interesting than what you have here…
here you go (near the bottom): http://blog.okcupid.com/
Jews eat fish with scales. It’s the ones without scales they don’t eat. See, who’s smarter now!
Yeah, Jews don’t eat creatures that are scavengers (that is, “bottom feeders”, animals that will eat anything). I know this from having been very close to my Jewish Nana. Or at least that’s how I’ve always understood it.
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