I am into poetic justice.

In a general way.

Don't worry, this human survived.

The bull? Not so much.

But when the shittiest national newspaper in the USA today, USA Today, crams the “call to action ending” down my throat in the headline it makes me want to puke up their Rocky Mountain Oysters, which were over-cooked anyway.

Qualifying statement much? SRSLY guys and gals, grow some huevos. That’s something we all have, right? No? You don’t know? Twitter is taking your jobs because there’s an egg shortage, fuck.

Sometimes I take this free trash I find on the bus or in a newsstand or that someone gives me when for some reason I exit Powell Station at 6am and so I try to read it because it’s 6am and what am I doing in the financial district anyway and I think my gawd I have no idea why I bother with this paper mache mushmash I’m just going to go home and make me a pinata!

I only read it this time because I went out of my way looking for the scoop on Julio Aparicio, dude who done got hisself gored up good, which is just like, pretty cray cray. And I got this.

It’s that it’s typical. And thus, no matter how heartfelt, completely disingenuous. These people are going through the motions. I would much rather read the wire.

I can write a story about this and so I will and here it is.

Oh cool thank you and here is your paycheck have a nice day now.

Okay thank you I will have a nice day and you will let me know how it goes right.

Oh yeah totally.

So I guess you like the story?

What story?

Word.

“Dude got gored is in the hospital and hey hey hey you guys, I have an idea, maybe bullfighting is over? I think we should think about that. Let’s do that.” Okay. Whatever. I’m going on break. Get out of my orifice.

Clearly, I should be writing the newspapers. No, I’m just saying that. It’s just. You know. Am I right? No? What?

Anyhoo.

Stuff makes me laugh at the state of the union. The people I thought were tools in Journalism class are still waving the mediocrity flag. It makes me laugh and I guess that’s something. It’s good to be able to laugh at yourself.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCrR_nbWVAM

But everything starts to chafe if you rub the shit too long.

With its concise measure of photographs and sparse text, the Huffington Post article I saw first, via twitter, was way more informative, compelling, and readable. So. There’s that.