That’d be next level. I’ve been thinking of naming her Penelope. Penny, for short, destinying her to a life of toil while she waits for me to war and return – insert some metaphor for the academic life here – but she will be faithful to me. I can’t even give a proper xmas present without ruining everything.
If she were bad, still, she’d come back to you. When you went to the bathroom, there she’d be. Every time you put her off for later, later, there she’d be. As often as you asked somebody for their idea, she’d be security for the loan. When something suddenly occurred to you, trickle boom! When you committed to something, you wouldn’t be trifling.
When you cleaned her, she’d shine.
Even when she pissed and shat and yapped and chewed, she’d be otherhow celestial.