July 25th, 2010 / 2:54 pm
Random

Wheel of Fortune

The answer isn’t “Asshole,” as the letter “s” would have lighted up in the primary round of letters — yet that is what we see, what we hear. Language lives in the eye and ear before it enters the brain, except for Vanna White’s, who stares ahead with a straight botoxed face wondering why all the snickers? I don’t know what the correct answer is, keep on seeing A S S H O L E, like think about anything but elephants and what do you think?  The elephant in the room is at once both erroneous and implicit, its verity beyond its actuality. The contestant (let’s call her Cphog) no doubt is thinking what we’re thinking, the expletive that doesn’t exist but might as well. Say goodbye to that 25K or SUV honey, you’re linguistically fuckd, missing vowels or not.

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35 Comments

  1. Merzmensch—

      It is not always a “key…”.

  2. Paul—

      keyhole?

  3. Paul—

      foxhole?

  4. mark—

      it’s pothole. And the contestant is a friend of mine.

  5. Jimmy Chen—

      can’t be pothole. she picked ‘p’ already and it ain’t lit up

  6. ryan—

      I say its foxhole too

  7. Jimmy Chen—

      no, then the ‘o’ in fox wudda been lit

  8. Paul—

      dammit . . . i don’t know how to play this game. i don’t watch television.

  9. Paul—

      what about airhole?

  10. Muzzy—

      Pinhole

  11. Lily—

      Are the rules to this game that hard to follow? The word does not contain: R S T L N E C P H O G, unless it is already lit up on the board.

  12. Ed—

      Apparently, yes…

      it’s mudhole

  13. Fjord Maddox Fjord—

      In no way related — a bit of found poetry for the titans of hypertext

      1.A BLUE HAT, 1.СИНЯЯ ШЛЯПА.
      2.A GREEN HAT? 2.ЗЕЛЕНАЯ ШЛЯПА?
      3.NO. 3.НЕТ.
      4.IT IS BLUE. 4.ОНА – СИНЯЯ.
      5.THIS BUS. 5.ЭТОТ АВТОБУС.
      6.IS IT RED? 6.ОН – КРАСНЫЙ?
      7.NO. 7.НЕТ.
      8.IT IS GREEN. 8.ОН – ЗЕЛЕНЫЙ.
      9.THAT BUS. 9.ТОТ АВТОБУС.
      1O.GREEN,TOO? 1О.ЗЕЛЕНЫЙ ТОЖЕ?
      11.IT IS NOT. 11.ОН НЕ ЕСТЬ.
      12.NOT GREEN. 12.НЕ ЗЕЛЕНЫЙ.
      13.IT IS BLUE. 13.ОН – СИНИЙ.

      (Dig the Houseman allusion, that’s how you can tell it’s real poesy^H^Htry)

  14. King Kong Bundy—

      Bumhole?

  15. Merzmensch—

      It is not always a “key…”.

  16. Paul Cunningham—

      keyhole?

  17. Paul Cunningham—

      foxhole?

  18. mark—

      it’s pothole. And the contestant is a friend of mine.

  19. Jimmy Chen—

      can’t be pothole. she picked ‘p’ already and it ain’t lit up

  20. ryan—

      I say its foxhole too

  21. Jimmy Chen—

      no, then the ‘o’ in fox wudda been lit

  22. Paul Cunningham—

      dammit . . . i don’t know how to play this game. i don’t watch television.

  23. Paul Cunningham—

      what about airhole?

  24. Muzzy—

      Pinhole

  25. lily hoang—

      Are the rules to this game that hard to follow? The word does not contain: R S T L N E C P H O G, unless it is already lit up on the board.

  26. drew kalbach—

      i wish someone would linguistically fuck me tenderly

  27. Ed—

      Apparently, yes…

      it’s mudhole

  28. Fjord Maddox Fjord—

      In no way related — a bit of found poetry for the titans of hypertext

      1.A BLUE HAT, 1.СИНЯЯ ШЛЯПА.
      2.A GREEN HAT? 2.ЗЕЛЕНАЯ ШЛЯПА?
      3.NO. 3.НЕТ.
      4.IT IS BLUE. 4.ОНА – СИНЯЯ.
      5.THIS BUS. 5.ЭТОТ АВТОБУС.
      6.IS IT RED? 6.ОН – КРАСНЫЙ?
      7.NO. 7.НЕТ.
      8.IT IS GREEN. 8.ОН – ЗЕЛЕНЫЙ.
      9.THAT BUS. 9.ТОТ АВТОБУС.
      1O.GREEN,TOO? 1О.ЗЕЛЕНЫЙ ТОЖЕ?
      11.IT IS NOT. 11.ОН НЕ ЕСТЬ.
      12.NOT GREEN. 12.НЕ ЗЕЛЕНЫЙ.
      13.IT IS BLUE. 13.ОН – СИНИЙ.

      (Dig the Houseman allusion, that’s how you can tell it’s real poesy^H^Htry)

  29. King Kong Bundy—

      Bumhole?

  30. drew kalbach—

      i wish someone would linguistically fuck me tenderly

  31. zusya17—

      utah… olé!

  32. carlos bugatti—

      paul, you are a moron – see that has two o’s and one couldn’t be lit without the other

  33. carlos bugatti—

      paul, you are a moron – see that has two o’s and one couldn’t be lit without the other

  34. Reynard Seifert—

      r.l. stine

  35. Reynard Seifert—

      r.l. stine