September 1st, 2010 / 7:55 pm
Random

I would like you to hit me in the head with something.

Sorry to be picking on my hometown blog commenters here, but seriously, does no one understand meter?

I mean, I know I’m just a fiction writer and all, but I at least sort of get it. I think. Maybe I shouldn’t let this get to me, but we’re only talking about a couple of syllables here. And it’s not like the limerick is a sestina or something. It’s really not that complicated.

There once was a man with a stein,
Who thought Coors Light was just fine,
‘Till his friend said “fuck it,
just drink out of the Honey Bucket
you’ll think that shit is wine.”
Posted by Skip on August 25, 2010 at 11:29 am

There once was a man with a stein
Who thought THAT Coors Light was just fine
‘Til his friend, he said “Fuck it,
Drink from that Honey Bucket,
And I’m sure you’ll think that shit is wine.

The mustachioed man is called Flanigan,
And his friend just got back from the Vatican.
They got loaded drunk,
In the mornin’ they stunk,
And they shouted, “let’s go do THAT again!”
Posted by gaybabyjesus on August 26, 2010 at 9:40 am

The mustachioed man is called Flanigan
And his friend just got back from the Vatican [meh]
They BOTH got loaded drunk.
In the morning, they stunk.
And they shouted, “Let’s go AND do THAT again.”

there once was a man from nantucket
standing next to a honey bucket
he drank shitty beer
’til he felt a bit queer
and he let his mustachioed friend suck it
Posted by taint on August 27, 2010 at 11:07 am

There once was a man from Nantucket
Standing next to a BLUE Honey Bucket.
He drank shitty beer
‘Til he felt a bit queer,
And then let his mustach’oed friend suck it.

There once stood two creepy ass guys.
And one just got fucked in the eye.
Don’t worry , my friend,
This isn’t the end,
I’ll lick it, so it won’t go dry.
Posted by Auntie Roach on August 31, 2010 at 3:27 pm

There once stood two creepy ass guys,
And THIS one had got fucked in his eye [again, meh]
“Don’t YOU worry, my friend,
This HERE isn’t the end,
I WILL lick it so it won’t go dry.

These two men are friends from the Navy
The pirate his first name is Davey
They drink to the pope though they know he’s a dope
Later they’ll have a butt-baby
Posted by jtwankerschmidt on September 1, 2010 at 9:56 am

These two men are friends from the Navy
The pirate, his first name is Davey
They drink to the pope,
Though they know he’s a dope.
AND THEN later, they’ll have a butt baby.

See?

Tags: ,

18 Comments

  1. shaun

      Limerick contests on the internet always wind up like that. I don’t understand how they get to be so fucked up

  2. Casey

      good going Skip!

  3. Casey

      …I mean Matthew…

  4. Amber

      Thank you. How can people not HEAR this shit?

  5. mike young

      httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3_NaWqOoXE

  6. Khakjaan Wessington

      The meter online is too lacking
      To ever observe accent tracking;
      So poetry’s screwed
      And rhythm’s eschewed
      For sake of a syllable whacking.

  7. efferny jomes

      Limerick contests on the internet always wind up like that. I don’t understand how they get to be so fucked up

  8. Casey

      good going Skip!

  9. Casey

      …I mean Matthew…

  10. Amber

      Thank you. How can people not HEAR this shit?

  11. Mike Young

      httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3_NaWqOoXE

  12. Khakjaan Wessington

      The meter online is too lacking
      To ever observe accent tracking;
      So poetry’s screwed
      And rhythm’s eschewed
      For sake of a syllable whacking.

  13. Matthew Simmons

      See? Now I love you.

  14. daniel bailey

      i know what i’m doing for my next book now.

  15. Matthew Simmons

      See? Now I love you.

  16. daniel bailey

      i know what i’m doing for my next book now.

  17. topher

      Maybe the “Drunk” part of the contest implies that the meter is going to be fucked? Just a guess.

  18. topher

      Maybe the “Drunk” part of the contest implies that the meter is going to be fucked? Just a guess.