Random
Expired Domain Girl
(c. 2005 - 2008)
When I couldn’t find a website, I would often find her, which judging by the mission architecture and soft golden light, puts her somewhere in California. You may have seen her too, Expired Domain Girl, most likely at her college campus between classes, the weight of Econ 101, Art History, and some granola on her shoulders. The trace of red on her backpack suggests an enrollment at Stanford, a fine university nuzzled in the south bay with Google, Apple, and other centers of the virtual world. Of course, she’s a model, though a “modest face” model; not a high society model to make you feel bad, but one whose common features serve to ingratiate with the regular folk, meaning, you. Her blondness is “dirty blonde,” an odd phrase considering the assertions of Aryan purity, as if the sequence of her hair’s low- and high-lights is a slow corruption over time, the cross-breeding American Pâté of Europe’s liver. I’ve always found the benign placation of her half smile saying “sorry, that website is dead” arbitrary, yet prophetically sullen; for she too, now, is a thing of the past. I went searching for her, paradoxically looking for dead sites, hoping to come across her. In failure, I googled “expired domain girl” and found her, still there, the same locked pose, like a slice of inertia on a slide. I hope she got that B.A. or B.S., maybe then a Master’s or PhD. She probably has a ring on her finger, a more relaxed labia through which two craniums transgressed, and maybe a few wrinkles on her face. Her favorite painting in that 2 lbs. art history book is now a $25 print in her kitchen, which is how art is both beautiful and sad. Life happens like Proust: meaningful in theory, most of the time boring, and then we find out it was all gay. On my death bed, propped up with the bloated surrender flag of my last pillow, may my nurse look just a little like her. We’d talk about the weather, and she’d say it was nice out that day.
one can only hope her labia is more relaxed
applause
Life happens like Proust: meaningful in theory, most of the time boring, and then we find out it was all gay.
Well played, sir.
This is the best post that has ever been on HTMLGIANT.
She’d then add, “Those’re two more relaxed labia, my innumerate imagineer.”
you’re an idiot
also crania.
damn. great post.
The photo was taken on UT Austin’s east mall. More of a small town rodeo queen, I’d say. Labia well-jostled from barrel racing.
No, no she wouldn’t.
jostled
my friends and i call her backpack grinbitch
Sorry, but critical faculties in domains marked Monch have expired.
[Stop the presses!]
EXPIRED DOMAIN GIRL’S LABIA SPEAK!
Ask To Address membra virilia As ‘”Justin RM”‘
Great post.
This stock girl is smiling even after everything is gone…
Here’s more of her: smiling, looking with her doe eyes, but the college scene is just the best.
http://www.istockphoto.com/file_search.php?action=file&filetypeID=&userID=39198&text=hf7
And here is her photographer
http://www.istockphoto.com/user_view.php?id=39198
andrew: just checked Webster’s, and, while “labium” has only the one accepted pl., “cranium” does have the two.
Jimmies Chens makes the funniest, graphic-arts-cleverest blogicles, but “a labia” remains an error. However, considering both ‘labia majora’ and ‘labia minora’, I’m thinking “two labia” might be a similar case of underreporting.
–
She’s then add, “Those’re multitudinous more relaxed labia, my innumerate imagineer.”
great post.
This is really lovely.
Awesome post, Jimmy…
There’s something strangely terrifying about seeing so many different pictures of her, after seeing just the one for so long. Or, if not terrifying, certainly weird. Something along the lines of the inanimate becoming animate.
she is also the main subject in the the work of Parker Ito:
http://www.pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp.net/
Why does that guy look so familiar?
[…] the image has become such a part of the Zeitgeist that those who haven’t seen the article are still asking who she is.The image is still popular among parked domains today. In my opinion, domain squatting […]
[…] the image has become such a part of the Zeitgeist that those who haven’t seen the article are still asking who she […]
[…] memes on their own, people started sending me links to recent posts on Fimoculous, Poploser and HTMLGiant about the infamous Parked Domain Girl. I was immediately familiar with the […]
[…] memes on their own, people started sending me links to recent posts on Fimoculous, Poploser and HTMLGiant about the infamous Parked Domain Girl. I was immediately familiar with the […]
Google for “everywhere girl”, she’s been famous for years, her name’s Jennifer Chandra
that’s a different expired domain girl, this one is named Hannah Steller
internet mysteries solved
http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/7z628/who_the_fuck_is_this_and_why_does_she_show_up_on/c07t8eu
Proust can be kind of boring, but also enlightening. In the third volume, the 400-page tea party killed it for me. And then when Sodom and Gomorroh starts, he’s writing about the gay uncle of the Guermentes (misspelled) and a male servant, that he spies under the stairs. They are obviously fooling around, but the details are so meshed, I was like, fuck, just straight out explain what is going on. I know it’s turn of the 20th century and gay literature cannot be explicit as now, but just fucking show me what is actually going on. And I stopped reading Proust at the beginning of volume 4.
Awesome post, by the way. Funny. Well written.
IT’S A TRAP
http://www.monkeychapps.com/god-love-the-it-guygal/
You’re welcome, mate.
http://www.monkeychapps.com/god-love-the-it-guygal/
You’re welcome, mate.
CollegeHumor is searching for Expired Domain Girl as well. Check it out: http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1810884
Well, it’s nice to have that finally cleared up.
It seems someone has commissioned a painting:
http://domaingang.com/domain-news/enom-girl-an-all-american-parking-icon/
A bit creepy really, intriguing none-the-less.
Oh, and her as an anime character… so, there ya go, now everyone make that your profile picture. Start a group like Anonymous but, use her image instead…
Oh, and her as an anime character… so, there ya go, now everyone make that your profile picture. Start a group like Anonymous but, use her image instead…
That’s totally UT Austin.
http://www.istockphoto.com/file_search.php?action=file&filetypeID=&userID=39198&text=hf7
Here’s the model’s other work.
So it goes.
He is Willa Frank, a transvestite living in Benigna, Texas. He makes his living as a face model – and does rather well, don’t you think?
An entertaining and somewhat disturbing read. This begs for someone to track that girl, write her story and measure her…
Reminds me of the famous Marlboro Men, all three of whom died of lung cancer (
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marlboro_Man).
She is beautiful. I wonder what became of her.
haha, guess what? that girl can speak now too, and bark like a dog! :)
http://www.parkerito.biz
Oh, Parker, Parker, Parker… that’s just disturbing.
She was an actor, I think. Played the blonde older sister in 8 Simple Rules.
http://www.tineye.com/search/e8e38342fb69ed76f85a509c01fd59c1e0ba467a/
I almost shed a tear…
You’re the reason I decided never to come back to the website
You are a beautiful writer. I have come across this girl before and wondered many of the same things. Where is she now? who is she now?
He looks like Dominic Monaghan on LOST.
If I was this chick, I would get a restraining order against you. Who puts this much thought into a picture of some random girl. Freak.
Is just one a “label”?
[…] Expired Domain Girl […]
Even though she no longer appears on parked domains, the whole world should use her on 404 pages.
I know what became of her. She got a job as a labia model for a catalog that sells crotchless panties.
Hi, Nice post Jimmy Chen.. how I wish I could ramble as fluidly as you.
Just for the record, stumbled over here while reading about a movie I had seen many years back… “Six Degrees of Separation” from there I reached Find Satoshi and then here.
Now find me….
— xiohoix
one can only hope that no words on this web page have any impact on this person. of course, one could idly speculate about the size and shape of a certain person’s surrender flag.
YES
Ah! I’ve scribbled all over the table!
BUT YOUR SCRIBBLING IS JUST A DRAWING OF VRONKSY KILLING HIS MARE
why would you say such a thing? what did i ever do to you? you don’t know about me or my writing.
ARE YOU FOR REAL
DO YOU REALLY THINK ZZZIPP IS REFERRING TO “YOUR” WRITING
?????
i have personally ceased to ask myself this question every day of whether i am real, but you are not the first to ridicule my unprofitable inventions. i do think the vronsky allusion is rather uncalled for. i have no mare or race to win, though i did once hope i knew someone like levin.