September 23rd, 2011 / 2:40 pm

Men Matrix


  1. M. Kitchell

      jimmy, how are vollman, murakami, nabokov, joyce, pynchon, miller, and bukowski  pervy-er than ballard?

  2. Darby Larson

      soon as i saw “Men Matrix” in my twitter feed, i was like, that’s probably jimmy chen.

  3. Jimmy Chen

      dang, ur taking those dots literally. i was just going ‘by feeling.’ i can’t really answer ur question i guess, only to say that, in my mind, there is no direct correlation between pervness and violence, which ur implying with the ballard ref

  4. Jimmy Chen

      next time you see a 4 or 5 white dots on the base of your shaft forming some constellation of a night you daren’t remember, think ‘that’s probably jimmy chen.’ i feel this comment is reasonable compared to all the pervs above.

  5. Anonymous

      Vollmann’s so pervy his last name takes two N’s.

  6. Catherine Lacey

      Jimmy– will you please do a women matrix with somewhat offensive adjectives?

      Also, this one is begging for Baker to be up there– upper mid-right quadrant.

  7. Jimmy Chen

      nicholas baker’s santa claus vibe vanillas him out.

  8. sp

      For a second, I was like: Burgess?  The premature ejaculator who whined about hemorrhoids non-stop?  He’s masculine?  But I can see how his writing does have a superfluous third testicle compared to Henry James.

  9. Tim Jones-Yelvington

      Upper lefters unite.

  10. Literary Man

      This is eerily similar to the Hipster-Literary-Bro continuum:

  11. g.

      Agreed, please do a woman matrix. 

  12. Guest

      HTML ripping off the NY’er now?

  13. Matthew Simmons
  14. M. Kitchell

      for me ballard’s perviness far transcends violence but then again ballard is directly responsible for creating like 3x fetishes for me (which include: astronauts, hotels flooded with sand, and desperate men who don’t leave their high-rise apartments)

      you know i ain’t goin literally on you, just want my man b-lard to get more recognition beyond his car crash steaz when it comes to amping up sexual creativity

  15. Sarasoo

      Obviously Jimmy Chen has never met Vollman. Can’t wait till he kicks his ass.

  16. BoomersMustDie

      Wasn’t Melville kind of queer? All that sperm and interracial stuff?

  17. Russ

      Queer can be masculine or effeminate. Some of the manliest men are gay as all eff.

  18. BoomersMustDie

      Fair point, doesn’t explain his low ‘perv’ rating though