August 9th, 2009 / 1:12 pm
Random
Blake Butler
Random
New Business Model: Celeb Lit
Actual photo evidence of B. Spears reading
What if instead of celebrities paying to have shitty biographies ghostwritten for them, they published good progressive/fucked ghostwritten novels? ‘White Larvae of the Ill Nacht’ by Tom Hanks. ‘Borsmissisott’ by Lil Wayne. I’d read a Lindsay Lohan novel if it was written by Brian Evenson, and so would several hundred thousand little girls. That seems like a ‘new literary business model’ I could get behind, one that would actually make some serious $$$. Now offering my recently competed 70000 word ‘post-structuralist language novel’ to the first rock star/model/actor willing to take it on. I’m serious.
Tags: lindsay lohan, tom hanks
i like where this is going. maybe it could be published posthumously, written by michael jackson in his twenties. the critics would find parallels between the challenging prose and his complex dance moves. fans would say it illuminates his self-loathing in a way they couldn’t have begun to understand before reading the 600 page novel, thus convincing a whole new generation to read big people books. oprah would love it.
i like where this is going. maybe it could be published posthumously, written by michael jackson in his twenties. the critics would find parallels between the challenging prose and his complex dance moves. fans would say it illuminates his self-loathing in a way they couldn’t have begun to understand before reading the 600 page novel, thus convincing a whole new generation to read big people books. oprah would love it.
or the caption could be:
actual photo evidence of b. spears driving.
or the caption could be:
actual photo evidence of b. spears driving.
britney spears is looking more and more like my grandma
britney spears is looking more and more like my grandma
actual photo evidence of b. spears reading while driving
is really the most apt
actual photo evidence of b. spears reading while driving
is really the most apt
yes, that is best
yes, that is best
Blake, I’m in, but only on the condition we can name your experimental fiction for sale after my hit song “We’re All In This Together” –
http://www.thehiddenbookcase.com/high_school_musical_songs.html#t9
Just think of it as an enthusiastic celebration of the new arrangement. Also, 70,000 words is a bit long. We’ll definitely have to put some colour snapshots of me in the middle, sans shirt. At any rate, call my agent, we’ll set something up.
Blake, I’m in, but only on the condition we can name your experimental fiction for sale after my hit song “We’re All In This Together” –
http://www.thehiddenbookcase.com/high_school_musical_songs.html#t9
Just think of it as an enthusiastic celebration of the new arrangement. Also, 70,000 words is a bit long. We’ll definitely have to put some colour snapshots of me in the middle, sans shirt. At any rate, call my agent, we’ll set something up.
sold, son
sold, son
can we make yr skin look as if it has been eaten by flies and partly melted? it would go pretty well with the story.
can we make yr skin look as if it has been eaten by flies and partly melted? it would go pretty well with the story.
Sure, but, as you know, I’m a method actor so we may actually have to spend some time with someone who has fly-melt skin to get a feel for what that’s like. Which is to say, we’ll probably need Britney after all. Oh, and just as long as we don’t touch my hair. I need it spunky for my upcoming guest appearance on Entourage.
Sure, but, as you know, I’m a method actor so we may actually have to spend some time with someone who has fly-melt skin to get a feel for what that’s like. Which is to say, we’ll probably need Britney after all. Oh, and just as long as we don’t touch my hair. I need it spunky for my upcoming guest appearance on Entourage.
yeah except she has her eyes closed and the car isn’t moving
yeah except she has her eyes closed and the car isn’t moving
i want to write the cough syrup diaries by nicolas cage
i want to write the cough syrup diaries by nicolas cage
What if the car really was moving? Going a hundred miles an hour. That’s a nice thought.
What if the car really was moving? Going a hundred miles an hour. That’s a nice thought.
I’m pretty sure she’s thinking, “Story ain’t bad but some of the mythological creatures are a little cutesy and derivative, plus the Christian allegory is a bit overt, though I finally understand why Franzen picked ‘Aslan’ as the name of the drug in The Corrections that Enid takes on the cruise ship that supposedly blocks deep and morbid shame, really and truly unlike alcohol which only does it fleetingly and falsely. Hahaha, so Franzen is like doing this Dostevskyean Crime and Punishment kind of thing with Christianity and our latter-day obsession with pharmacology. Yeah!”
I want to think that’s what she’s thinking. Don’t burst my bubble.
I’m pretty sure she’s thinking, “Story ain’t bad but some of the mythological creatures are a little cutesy and derivative, plus the Christian allegory is a bit overt, though I finally understand why Franzen picked ‘Aslan’ as the name of the drug in The Corrections that Enid takes on the cruise ship that supposedly blocks deep and morbid shame, really and truly unlike alcohol which only does it fleetingly and falsely. Hahaha, so Franzen is like doing this Dostevskyean Crime and Punishment kind of thing with Christianity and our latter-day obsession with pharmacology. Yeah!”
I want to think that’s what she’s thinking. Don’t burst my bubble.
Have you read Macaulay Culkin’s novel? It was a lot like that book Harmony Korine put out, but with more father issues.
Have you read Macaulay Culkin’s novel? It was a lot like that book Harmony Korine put out, but with more father issues.