#THINGSIDIDNTTWEETATAWP

These are things I didn’t tweet while walking around AWP like a zombie (typos included):

 

mostly white people

 

everyone is Urban Outfitted

 

prevalent attitude of bemused detachment

 

Brandon Downing is everywhere

 

Dan Magers said it’s like he’s been eating “battery acid and alcohol water”

 

this is the worst way to see friends

 

I’m not going to this next year

 

Bunch of dudes at this NYU party look like Jason Swartzman in BOred to Death.

 

knobs

 

furtively farted in a group of NYU students but maintained a look of placid innocence (I think one woman noticed)

 

CHicago is pretty raad. Go Patriots!

 

I think I’m eating cat food

 

just ran into blank over by the blank blank table. He seems really blank. I bet he gets tons of blank.

 

I hate all your scarves

 

dear Future Ben Mirov: shut the fuck up

 

this poem would be nominally improved if Woody Harelson were reading it

 

Every time I see Melissa Broder we smash cheeks awkwardly because I forget to give her a peck. I feel like it’s become “our thing”.

 

Ate an Italian Beef at Al’s Beef: my colon is a warzone

 

saw Mark Liedner across the room at a reading and thought “there can only be one” al la Highlander

 

day 4: everyone’s feelings are hurt

 

Hahaha if you ever see me here when I’m fifty and I’m hitting on undergrads kill me sorry I didn’t mean that yes i did

 

Think I saw Jordan Castro, but it might have just been some dude with chocolate on his face.

 

never have I so badly wished for the zombie apocalypse to strike as when I was walking through the bookfair today

 

Accidentally blocked C.D. Wright on her way to the bathroom. didn’t realize it was C.D. Wright until lily Ladewig told me. Realized I had always pictured C.D. Wright as approx. 8′ tall

 

just talked to blank at the bar for like blank minutes. I think she thought I was blanked but I just took too many blanks

 

At a reading. Super exicted to see the new episode of Archer

 

I love Jason Bredle