25 Points: Godzilla


1.  Spoiler Alert: Godzilla breaks shit and wins at everything.

2.  Bryan Cranston is the best actor in this movie.

3.  They fucking kill Bryan Cranston in the first third of the movie.

4.  Confirmed societal standard: it’s still not okay to have New York City as the setting for a cataclysmic event that involves mass amounts of destruction—fictional monster battles included.

5.  Aaron Taylor-Johnson’s character has a strange combination of good and bad luck due to the life-threatening situations he falls into and narrowly escapes at consecutive twenty-minute intervals.

6.   Ken Watanabe is the second best actor in this movie.

7.  Godzilla and I have similar lifestyles: go hard for about a week then sleep off the insanity for months or years on end. Repeat accordingly.

8.  Godzilla actually looks like Godzilla in this movie. (Compared to the abomination made in 1999 that shan’t be named.)

9.  This movie impressed me with its effective use of slow-pace plot format in actually waiting to show us our reptilian friend and all the loveable destruction he brings. (See Jaws for similar example.)

10. It’s actually pretty neat to have characters, besides Godzilla, that you actually give a shit about and have semi-decent back-stories.

11. American guilt about dropping the atom bomb on Japan is featured nicely.

12. Mothra Easter eggs galore.

13. Everyone expected this movie to flop.

14. I almost didn’t see this movie (but glad I did).

15. This movie reminded me that there are still numerous active nuclear bombs in the United States and other parts of the world. That shit’s scary.

16. The final fight scene was well worth the hour and a half wait.

17. The army sucked at evacuating San Francisco.

18. Another confirmed societal standard: it’s okay to destroy the Golden Gate bridge in most action/disaster films.

19. Godzilla is the third best actor in this movie.

20. Societal conclusion formed from cinema: you can detonate a nuclear bomb a little ways off from a city in a body of water and everything will somehow be okay. (See Dark Knight Rises for further evidence.)

21. Godzilla’s final kill at the end of this movie is so awesome that I won’t spoil it just so you can see it with your own unsuspecting eyes.

22. It was nice to watch a “fun” movie for once without it being bad or overly stupid.

23. Moral lesson from this movie: nuclear power is bad.

24. Historic lesson from this movie: Godzilla is the cause of all earthquakes, tsunamis, terrorist attacks, and nuclear power plant meltdowns.

25. The only thing that would have made this movie better is Bryan Cranston riding on the back of Godzilla to hunt down monsters and rival drug dealers. Point being: go see this movie.


Trevor L. Sensor is a writer from Illinois. His first ebook of poetry, Ex-Poems, was recently published by Peanut Gallery Press. His work has been featured on Atticus Review, Be About It, and Alt Lit Press. He favors dogs over cats due to allergies.

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  1. mimi

      1. first read as “…breaks wind…”
      2. Walt… Heisenberg…. !!!!!!!!!!!!
      3. ok
      4. i’m sorry, but New York City is boring!!
      5. is he the guy who’s married to Sam Taylor-Wood? i forget
      6. he’s kinda hot
      7. do you read shampoo bottles?
      8. love the werd “shan’t”, use it all the time (as in, to my children, “we shan’t starve” when they complain about dinner…)
      9. du u mean GWB?
      10. also luv the werd “neat”, as in “neat-o”, “keen” etc

      hold on, dog just gakked,,,,, tbc

  2. Michael T.

      Crazy as it sounds, I’m actually quite fond of the ’98 movie in all its terribleness. Hope that doesn’t ruin my credibility (?).

      And can someone who’s seen this explain Gareth Edwards’s unique direction to me? And why he’s been chosen to make a SW movie?

  3. A D Jameson

      I remember liking Jean Reno in the ’98 ‘zilla. I think.

      As for Edwards, I’ve heard very positive things about his first feature, Monsters. Haven’t seen his work yet, though.

  4. Dirty Magic Realism

      you sold it to me . . .