I have a old carolla and the interior lining is starting to sag. While i was trying to pin it up to the car-ceiling while in the backseat & i noticed a little envelope between the console and the drivers seat. it was a little sun faded and a little water damaged.
the envelope was addressed to me, but no address or stamps, just my name. after a few seconds i realized why the handwriting looked so familiar, it was my father’s handwriting, & he died a few years ago. i took it inside and did not show it to my wife, who was studying on the couch. i had no idea what this letter could be and i was more repelled than curious — he could be mean & i did not want to know why he had tried to slip me a discrete letter like this. i walked through the house & the letter in my hand did not cause much attention so i took the envelope and decided to stow it away as a bookmark — was not sure which book to put it in. infinite jest seems too obvious a spot to put it, corrections seemed too silly and sad.
a cormac mccarthy books would be interesting, but it felt to abysmal to put it in the road or all the pretty horses. i had my father’s copy of texas by james michener & my father’s copy of gerald ford’s autobiography, but these books feel all gross.
I was involved in an abusive friendship with a really manipulative and psychologically fucked up woman. Last time we spoke she accused me of some weird stuff and threatened me with even weirder stuff. It was the final straw for me. I blocked her six ways to Sunday (phone, email, etc.) a few months ago. I recently moved and found a couple pieces of expensive clothes I must have borrowed from her years ago. Do I send them to her? I don’t want the clothes. I also don’t want to send her the wrong message, which would be that I’d want anything to do with her ever again.
A friend noticed that “panhandle” means ‘ask for’, not ‘offer’. How can she or he make this delicate point to a bad-advice columnist in a lighthearted absurdist way, without communicating hauteur or unkindness to the non-obtuse?
what my tired brain was trying to say is “you said what i first thought, my first reaction to lily’s use of ‘panhandle’, and you said it well, quite well, whereas my poor brain was too tired to say anything… well”