August 30th, 2009 / 7:51 pm
Snippets

a question: do you like to hang out with other “writer types/academic types/artist types” or do you prefer hanging out with people who aren’t those things, at least not professedly.  and why is that.  i am really interested in what people think about this.  also, to preempt, i mean “instead of being alone,” which is obviously preferable to both.

78 Comments

  1. chris

      I definitely don’t hang out with any writers at all. But that’s more an outcome of where I live. Orlando, Florida (believe it or not) isn’t a hotbed of the literary arts. I do surround myself with lots of creative types. Photographers, designers, artists, filmmakers, print makers. I feel like this is also coincidental. Artistic proclivities aren’t a requisite to be my friend. I’m more interested in whether or not you’re passionate about something and have an overall desire to live, in the broadest sense of the term.

      Man, that just felt like filling out a match.com question form.

  2. chris

      I definitely don’t hang out with any writers at all. But that’s more an outcome of where I live. Orlando, Florida (believe it or not) isn’t a hotbed of the literary arts. I do surround myself with lots of creative types. Photographers, designers, artists, filmmakers, print makers. I feel like this is also coincidental. Artistic proclivities aren’t a requisite to be my friend. I’m more interested in whether or not you’re passionate about something and have an overall desire to live, in the broadest sense of the term.

      Man, that just felt like filling out a match.com question form.

  3. brandi

      I don’t have friends that don’t read books. My boyfriend of about year can’t remember ever reading a book.

  4. brandi

      I don’t have friends that don’t read books. My boyfriend of about year can’t remember ever reading a book.

  5. christian

      i think about this a lot, seeing as how philadelphia has great poetry, visual arts, and performing arts scenes, but very few fiction writers.

      for me, hanging out with writers can be a way of recharging — there’s no denying it’s necessary at times, considering even other “artists” have a tough time identifying with what i do as a writer. i have a handful of writer friends (almost all at a distance) i’m always up for talking to.

      mostly, though, i don’t hang out with writers.

      and when i finished grad school, i felt like i never wanted to talk to another writer again. that goes triply for every conference i ever attended.

  6. christian

      i think about this a lot, seeing as how philadelphia has great poetry, visual arts, and performing arts scenes, but very few fiction writers.

      for me, hanging out with writers can be a way of recharging — there’s no denying it’s necessary at times, considering even other “artists” have a tough time identifying with what i do as a writer. i have a handful of writer friends (almost all at a distance) i’m always up for talking to.

      mostly, though, i don’t hang out with writers.

      and when i finished grad school, i felt like i never wanted to talk to another writer again. that goes triply for every conference i ever attended.

  7. james yeh

      i hang out mostly with writers, but only ones i think are doing cool stuff, which i guess isn’t really that many. i know this will probably sound bad but the worst thing is hanging out with writers who you don’t think are doing cool stuff, as it calls your art — and really, overall existence — into question: who are these people and why am i around them if i am not one of them? not a good place to be.

      i like hanging out with artists too but musicians i find generally kind of insufferable these days. they seem to be, uniformly, the least self-aware and most attention-greedy of pretty much all creative types. also, they’re usually pretty dumb. of course there are exceptions, but this is what i’ve found. i don’t usually hang out with academics, except for a few math people. despite the majority of math people being pretty shitty, the cool ones are pretty cool. maybe it’s their highly analytical and geeky/excitable/obsessive qualities. i don’t know. somehow we can relate.

      although of course, as you say sam, being alone is the obviously preferable option to all of these types.

  8. james yeh

      i hang out mostly with writers, but only ones i think are doing cool stuff, which i guess isn’t really that many. i know this will probably sound bad but the worst thing is hanging out with writers who you don’t think are doing cool stuff, as it calls your art — and really, overall existence — into question: who are these people and why am i around them if i am not one of them? not a good place to be.

      i like hanging out with artists too but musicians i find generally kind of insufferable these days. they seem to be, uniformly, the least self-aware and most attention-greedy of pretty much all creative types. also, they’re usually pretty dumb. of course there are exceptions, but this is what i’ve found. i don’t usually hang out with academics, except for a few math people. despite the majority of math people being pretty shitty, the cool ones are pretty cool. maybe it’s their highly analytical and geeky/excitable/obsessive qualities. i don’t know. somehow we can relate.

      although of course, as you say sam, being alone is the obviously preferable option to all of these types.

  9. Ian Aleksander Adams

      I live in savannah, GA, so pretty much everyone my age is involved in some kind of creative tomfoolery. just the nature of the town though. Most of the older people I know are teachers or working artists, but that’s cause I know most of them through professional events and crap.

  10. Ian Aleksander Adams

      I live in savannah, GA, so pretty much everyone my age is involved in some kind of creative tomfoolery. just the nature of the town though. Most of the older people I know are teachers or working artists, but that’s cause I know most of them through professional events and crap.

  11. Meredith

      Since college (and even during college, now that I think about it), I’ve felt a massive absence of intellectually interesting people. I’d love to find a group of people who actually give a shit about books and have a creative streak that they’re excited to share because it’s simply a part of them, not because it adds to their cred. My best friend (who lives in Chicago) is also a writer, and having her to bounce ideas off of, as well as being able to flex my editing muscle on her work is invaluable, and I find I am often at my happiest when actually using my mind around her. I’d love to have friends like that here in New York.

      That being said, I think there’s definitely a difference between people who are creatively inspired, and interested in sharing themselves as writers and having discussion about books, than “artsy” types who hang out in certain neighborhoods and around certain crowds to talk about their post-modern this or avant-garde that (some writers fall into this, too).

      I agree with Christian’s comment in the sense that even hanging around people who are art-centric versus writers is totally different, as well. People can advocate for the similarity of the creative process, expression, etc etc, but when it comes down to it, writing is an endeavor all its own.

  12. Meredith

      Since college (and even during college, now that I think about it), I’ve felt a massive absence of intellectually interesting people. I’d love to find a group of people who actually give a shit about books and have a creative streak that they’re excited to share because it’s simply a part of them, not because it adds to their cred. My best friend (who lives in Chicago) is also a writer, and having her to bounce ideas off of, as well as being able to flex my editing muscle on her work is invaluable, and I find I am often at my happiest when actually using my mind around her. I’d love to have friends like that here in New York.

      That being said, I think there’s definitely a difference between people who are creatively inspired, and interested in sharing themselves as writers and having discussion about books, than “artsy” types who hang out in certain neighborhoods and around certain crowds to talk about their post-modern this or avant-garde that (some writers fall into this, too).

      I agree with Christian’s comment in the sense that even hanging around people who are art-centric versus writers is totally different, as well. People can advocate for the similarity of the creative process, expression, etc etc, but when it comes down to it, writing is an endeavor all its own.

  13. Sabra

      I just want someone to get my stupid jokes. Otherwise people look at me like I’m an alien when I say things sometimes and that can be frustrating. Creative types seem to appreciate unique-out-of-box personalities more than types that don’t give two shits about art or books or music. But more normal types can be found to appreciate “lunatics” too. Especially drunks and stoners.

  14. Sabra

      I just want someone to get my stupid jokes. Otherwise people look at me like I’m an alien when I say things sometimes and that can be frustrating. Creative types seem to appreciate unique-out-of-box personalities more than types that don’t give two shits about art or books or music. But more normal types can be found to appreciate “lunatics” too. Especially drunks and stoners.

  15. Sabra

      And it’s not about what people are into as much as finding anyone courageous and willing enough to express their own damn opinions about anything without treating trends or memes as templates. Grace is beautiful too. And compassionate people who don’t take themselves too seriously. Finding these qualities in artists?…without having to deal with a defensive ego–good luck, though it can exist.

  16. Sabra

      And it’s not about what people are into as much as finding anyone courageous and willing enough to express their own damn opinions about anything without treating trends or memes as templates. Grace is beautiful too. And compassionate people who don’t take themselves too seriously. Finding these qualities in artists?…without having to deal with a defensive ego–good luck, though it can exist.

  17. brandi

      scad kids?

  18. brandi

      scad kids?

  19. sasha fletcher

      it depends. i would say i don’t hang out with artists and writers because they happen to be writers. sometimes my friends happen to be artists and writers. but i mean, you go to art school and poetry school and work at whole foods and really, what the fuck other kind of people are you going to spend your time meeting. it’s not like i ever had a really active social life. i find that i don’t know. that i just like talking about shit i’m excited about, and shit they’re excited about, and i just saw i love you man and when they said i love you brosed goebbels, i nearly peed my pants i was laughing so hard. so i mean, i want someone i can laugh real hard with, and maybe talk about books and art and shit, because that’s mostly what i know. or gutting fish. we can talk about that.

  20. sasha fletcher

      it depends. i would say i don’t hang out with artists and writers because they happen to be writers. sometimes my friends happen to be artists and writers. but i mean, you go to art school and poetry school and work at whole foods and really, what the fuck other kind of people are you going to spend your time meeting. it’s not like i ever had a really active social life. i find that i don’t know. that i just like talking about shit i’m excited about, and shit they’re excited about, and i just saw i love you man and when they said i love you brosed goebbels, i nearly peed my pants i was laughing so hard. so i mean, i want someone i can laugh real hard with, and maybe talk about books and art and shit, because that’s mostly what i know. or gutting fish. we can talk about that.

  21. jimmy

      i’ve noticed that i really get along with people who like to run extensively, like marathons. one guy i work with runs marathons and we get coffee and talk about movies. this other pal i had also liked to run a lot. my theory is that people who get a lot of exercise have nice seratonin levels and are in good spirits. also, they don’t have pent up energy so i get to talk and they listen. painters, like ‘art’ (not buildings or walls) are a pretty miserable bunch. musicians are entertaining, especially when there’s a uusical instument around, but it really depends on the instrument. people who play cello are either big time nerds or really sexy. people who play bass typically have obtuse fingers, and people who play guitar often smell. people who use a drum-machine are usually untrustworthy. auditors have no fun.

  22. jimmy

      i’ve noticed that i really get along with people who like to run extensively, like marathons. one guy i work with runs marathons and we get coffee and talk about movies. this other pal i had also liked to run a lot. my theory is that people who get a lot of exercise have nice seratonin levels and are in good spirits. also, they don’t have pent up energy so i get to talk and they listen. painters, like ‘art’ (not buildings or walls) are a pretty miserable bunch. musicians are entertaining, especially when there’s a uusical instument around, but it really depends on the instrument. people who play cello are either big time nerds or really sexy. people who play bass typically have obtuse fingers, and people who play guitar often smell. people who use a drum-machine are usually untrustworthy. auditors have no fun.

  23. Lincoln

      Gotta hang out with people you can talk to. Often that means writers or “creative” people (whatever that means). Sometimes not.

  24. sasha fletcher

      you need to hang out with people that listen to sleep.
      that’s all there is to it champ.

  25. Lincoln

      Gotta hang out with people you can talk to. Often that means writers or “creative” people (whatever that means). Sometimes not.

  26. sasha fletcher

      you need to hang out with people that listen to sleep.
      that’s all there is to it champ.

  27. Lincoln

      I need people who want to drop out of life, that’s for sure.

  28. Lincoln

      I need people who want to drop out of life, that’s for sure.

  29. sasha fletcher

      yes sir.

  30. sasha fletcher

      regardless of what is or is not in their hands.

  31. sasha fletcher

      yes sir.

  32. sasha fletcher

      regardless of what is or is not in their hands.

  33. Merzmensch

      Good question. I’d say: I like to hang out with creative people, especially if we are working at the same project. But hang out with some academics, who are doubting about everything, that would be contra-productive and un-inspiring. And muse killers are dangerous.

  34. Merzmensch

      Good question. I’d say: I like to hang out with creative people, especially if we are working at the same project. But hang out with some academics, who are doubting about everything, that would be contra-productive and un-inspiring. And muse killers are dangerous.

  35. Riley Michael Parker

      I am a total workaholic, so I tend to hang out with creative people pretty much exclusively. Not a lot of writers though. Intimidated by me, I suppose. I dress really well, so it makes sense. I hang out with actors and visual artists the most, with non-traditional models coming in for a close third. With the exception of Kevin Sampsell, all of the writers I hang out with are women (I mean, I dress REALLY well), but they are all artists first and writer’s second, with most of them making comics and the likes. And then there’s my roommate, but he fucking lives in my house, so that’s a given

  36. Riley Michael Parker

      I am a total workaholic, so I tend to hang out with creative people pretty much exclusively. Not a lot of writers though. Intimidated by me, I suppose. I dress really well, so it makes sense. I hang out with actors and visual artists the most, with non-traditional models coming in for a close third. With the exception of Kevin Sampsell, all of the writers I hang out with are women (I mean, I dress REALLY well), but they are all artists first and writer’s second, with most of them making comics and the likes. And then there’s my roommate, but he fucking lives in my house, so that’s a given

  37. +!O0o(o)o0O!+

      There are seven fiction writers in Philadelphia. I am one. Sometimes we play doubles tennis and the other three judge the lines or play ballboy/girl.

  38. +!O0o(o)o0O!+

      There are seven fiction writers in Philadelphia. I am one. Sometimes we play doubles tennis and the other three judge the lines or play ballboy/girl.

  39. sasha fletcher

      i would have played doubles tennis with you lee

  40. sasha fletcher

      i would have played doubles tennis with you lee

  41. Peter Markus

      Sam,
      I prefer dogs and small children.

  42. Peter Markus

      Sam,
      I prefer dogs and small children.

  43. Catherine Lacey

      I have hung out with half the people commenting here, it seems.

  44. Catherine Lacey

      I have hung out with half the people commenting here, it seems.

  45. Lincoln

      Better hope your old bandmates don’t read this, duuude

  46. Lincoln

      Better hope your old bandmates don’t read this, duuude

  47. Amber

      I live in DC, so I hang out with a lot of political types. A lot of whom I don’t really like. Very few of these people are creative–though all of my very good friends are. Most of the people I hang out with don’t like to talk about books. They like to talk about how they sucked James Carville’s dick last Christmas or whatever, and if you say you like to write or read (and not just George Lakoff) in your spare time, they look at you like you just grew a third eye right in the middle of your forehead. Then they kind of back away.

  48. Amber

      I live in DC, so I hang out with a lot of political types. A lot of whom I don’t really like. Very few of these people are creative–though all of my very good friends are. Most of the people I hang out with don’t like to talk about books. They like to talk about how they sucked James Carville’s dick last Christmas or whatever, and if you say you like to write or read (and not just George Lakoff) in your spare time, they look at you like you just grew a third eye right in the middle of your forehead. Then they kind of back away.

  49. KevinS

      I have tried to get Riley to hang out/be friends with other writers here (Portland is lousy with ’em) but he only likes cute people. Or people who are almost cute but have something slightly off about them. I think that is the real issue in this discussion: Do you hang out with cute people or non-cute people.

  50. KevinS

      I have tried to get Riley to hang out/be friends with other writers here (Portland is lousy with ’em) but he only likes cute people. Or people who are almost cute but have something slightly off about them. I think that is the real issue in this discussion: Do you hang out with cute people or non-cute people.

  51. michael james

      I don’t know. I mean, I do know, but I don’t know. This isn’t on purpose.

      I used to hang out with poets and fellow writers, but then I felt weird and awkward when I’d write something and then they’d get all weird around me. A mixture of envy and awe. And then they’d find little ways to dig into me. All competition stuff. Which is what they say being a writer and friends with writers tends to be like.

      I like to hang around musicians and visual artists. Because I can only draw badly, but I like my bad drawings. But not enough where I start to believe I am as good as those ‘real’ visual artists. And they look at my work the same way. Or they’re better than me at writing and I like to hang around them because it charges me up and makes me feel good to be in the presence of someone doing damage to the arts (good damage). And I’m not the jealous/envious type so its a good relationship. And musicians tend to love fucking poets/writers in general. So there’s a plus.

      There are only a select few people who aren’t creative I can hang with. They either got to have an appreciation for the arts, or a kind of philosophical mind. Otherwise, I’ve come to realize, leave me the hell alone. Because I grew up with a bunch of friends who never knew I was creative. The only knew the guy they got drunk with or smoked weed with or the guy who talked to the group of girls alone because they were too scared to do something. And then when a short film I made played in a festival and ended up playing on Jet Blue and Virgin they suddenly became so insanely jealous. I was surprised. These guys I knew for 13 years were suddenly not my friends. Not because I wasn’t a good friend, but because I was creative and having a little bit of success.

      So, with other artists, at least there’s less of a chance of this happening. But… not entirely.

      Non-artists are almost the same as artists.

      It’s not about whether or not they’re artists or not, its kind of about the soul of a person, their mind, their connection to the weird. Good people vs assdicks.

      Where’s PR?

  52. michael james

      I don’t know. I mean, I do know, but I don’t know. This isn’t on purpose.

      I used to hang out with poets and fellow writers, but then I felt weird and awkward when I’d write something and then they’d get all weird around me. A mixture of envy and awe. And then they’d find little ways to dig into me. All competition stuff. Which is what they say being a writer and friends with writers tends to be like.

      I like to hang around musicians and visual artists. Because I can only draw badly, but I like my bad drawings. But not enough where I start to believe I am as good as those ‘real’ visual artists. And they look at my work the same way. Or they’re better than me at writing and I like to hang around them because it charges me up and makes me feel good to be in the presence of someone doing damage to the arts (good damage). And I’m not the jealous/envious type so its a good relationship. And musicians tend to love fucking poets/writers in general. So there’s a plus.

      There are only a select few people who aren’t creative I can hang with. They either got to have an appreciation for the arts, or a kind of philosophical mind. Otherwise, I’ve come to realize, leave me the hell alone. Because I grew up with a bunch of friends who never knew I was creative. The only knew the guy they got drunk with or smoked weed with or the guy who talked to the group of girls alone because they were too scared to do something. And then when a short film I made played in a festival and ended up playing on Jet Blue and Virgin they suddenly became so insanely jealous. I was surprised. These guys I knew for 13 years were suddenly not my friends. Not because I wasn’t a good friend, but because I was creative and having a little bit of success.

      So, with other artists, at least there’s less of a chance of this happening. But… not entirely.

      Non-artists are almost the same as artists.

      It’s not about whether or not they’re artists or not, its kind of about the soul of a person, their mind, their connection to the weird. Good people vs assdicks.

      Where’s PR?

  53. jereme

      i don’t understand the nature of this question. are you saying would i prefer to hang out with people i get along with whom may be a writer/artist type or are you asking if i would just prefer to hang out with random artists/writers?

      the first yes, of course, blood-sacks i consider my “friends” i enjoy hanging out with regardless if they are writers/artists. the caveat is i don’t want the focal point of the situation to be art-centric.

      the latter? god, nothing is more deplorable than hanging out with random asshole writer/artist types. i think the politicians are the only ego-stroking elitist group worse than fucking artists.

      i would much rather sit on a curb and share thoughts about life with a bum than spend time with writer types.

      at least the bum has perspective and honesty.

  54. jereme

      i don’t understand the nature of this question. are you saying would i prefer to hang out with people i get along with whom may be a writer/artist type or are you asking if i would just prefer to hang out with random artists/writers?

      the first yes, of course, blood-sacks i consider my “friends” i enjoy hanging out with regardless if they are writers/artists. the caveat is i don’t want the focal point of the situation to be art-centric.

      the latter? god, nothing is more deplorable than hanging out with random asshole writer/artist types. i think the politicians are the only ego-stroking elitist group worse than fucking artists.

      i would much rather sit on a curb and share thoughts about life with a bum than spend time with writer types.

      at least the bum has perspective and honesty.

  55. sasha fletcher

      fact. hey wanna throw rocks and rocks again soon?

  56. sasha fletcher

      fact. hey wanna throw rocks and rocks again soon?

  57. Sabra

      I like cute people better than non-cute people. Definitely. I also prefer cat people to dog people. I like people who take showers daily…people who cook things for me to eat and give me backrubs. It’s also funny when they bust out Spanish in Mexican restaurants. Haha, people are so cute and multi-talented sometimes! Mmm, guacamole…

  58. Sabra

      I like cute people better than non-cute people. Definitely. I also prefer cat people to dog people. I like people who take showers daily…people who cook things for me to eat and give me backrubs. It’s also funny when they bust out Spanish in Mexican restaurants. Haha, people are so cute and multi-talented sometimes! Mmm, guacamole…

  59. drew kalbach

      i have one writer friend. none of my closest friends write. they hardly read.

      i’m sitting at a table with them, actually.

      start reading, joe.

  60. drew kalbach

      i have one writer friend. none of my closest friends write. they hardly read.

      i’m sitting at a table with them, actually.

      start reading, joe.

  61. sasha fletcher

      WHAT ABOUT ME DREW.
      DON’T I COUNT FOR SOMETHING.

  62. sasha fletcher

      WHAT ABOUT ME DREW.
      DON’T I COUNT FOR SOMETHING.

  63. christian

      there’s the problem — i’ve never been any good at tennis. even in gym class i was kicked off the court for being “dangerous” though it felt to me like i was doing exactly what everyone else was. if you move on to basketball please let me know.

  64. christian

      there’s the problem — i’ve never been any good at tennis. even in gym class i was kicked off the court for being “dangerous” though it felt to me like i was doing exactly what everyone else was. if you move on to basketball please let me know.

  65. sam pink

      yeah i have two kitties now and i can honestly say they are better that 99% of the city of chicago.

  66. sam pink

      yeah i have two kitties now and i can honestly say they are better that 99% of the city of chicago.

  67. brandi

      I meant to say, “I don’t have friends that read books.”

  68. brandi

      I meant to say, “I don’t have friends that read books.”

  69. PHM

      I say bring back the likes of the Beat Generation, you know? Somehow they had it right. Maybe their era helped them along. Where are the women beats? But all things being equal, I think the number one reason I almost decided on going to school in Chicago was because it seems to have a strong literary scene.

      Hanging out with Adam Robinson, on both occasions, made me feel much dumber, but that wasn’t his fault.

  70. PHM

      I say bring back the likes of the Beat Generation, you know? Somehow they had it right. Maybe their era helped them along. Where are the women beats? But all things being equal, I think the number one reason I almost decided on going to school in Chicago was because it seems to have a strong literary scene.

      Hanging out with Adam Robinson, on both occasions, made me feel much dumber, but that wasn’t his fault.

  71. james yeh

      depends on the bum

      (also depends on the writer and politician)

  72. james yeh

      depends on the bum

      (also depends on the writer and politician)

  73. james yeh

      has nothing to do with former bandmates. i pretty much like all my former bandmates. hard to believe but true

  74. james yeh

      has nothing to do with former bandmates. i pretty much like all my former bandmates. hard to believe but true

  75. sasha fletcher

      that’s sad.

  76. sasha fletcher

      that’s sad.

  77. jereme

      true, but from a random sampling of all demographics, the house bet is with the bum.

  78. jereme

      true, but from a random sampling of all demographics, the house bet is with the bum.