November 2nd, 2009 / 12:52 pm
Snippets
Snippets
Blake Butler—
Can I discern the whole premise of your story in the first sentence? Good, then I won’t have to read it.
Keeping the mean alive.
Keeping the mean alive.
give a sample sentence
give a sample sentence
It was all a dream…
It was all a dream…
Yeah, Blake, I thought “weirdo mean week” was last week? It’s funny because as I read the first sentence of EVER (again), I think: “It’s time to change the light bulb.” Or “I don’t have any ideas. That’s okay. Can you give me some ideas?” Or “This is going to be a very thought-provoking little book.” But I can’t seem to discern the whole premise (if there is any or if that’s possible) of the “story” in the first sentence of it (i.e. EVER).
That’s okay. I suspect that you are trying to be funny (i.e. mean). Because “mean” is the new funny (e.g. Don Rickles; Triumph the Insult Dog; Blake Butler).
Yeah, Blake, I thought “weirdo mean week” was last week? It’s funny because as I read the first sentence of EVER (again), I think: “It’s time to change the light bulb.” Or “I don’t have any ideas. That’s okay. Can you give me some ideas?” Or “This is going to be a very thought-provoking little book.” But I can’t seem to discern the whole premise (if there is any or if that’s possible) of the “story” in the first sentence of it (i.e. EVER).
That’s okay. I suspect that you are trying to be funny (i.e. mean). Because “mean” is the new funny (e.g. Don Rickles; Triumph the Insult Dog; Blake Butler).
… or was it?
… or was it?
so, you’re saying i don’t have to finish the song “juicy” by the notorious b.i.g.?
so, you’re saying i don’t have to finish the song “juicy” by the notorious b.i.g.?
you stop that matthew simmons. we all know the beat speaks encyclopedias
you stop that matthew simmons. we all know the beat speaks encyclopedias
1) It was a dark and stormy night.
2) The gay cowboys huddled by their campfire in the dark Wyoming night.
3) n+1 reached out and kissed Lapham’s Quarterly.
1) It was a dark and stormy night.
2) The gay cowboys huddled by their campfire in the dark Wyoming night.
3) n+1 reached out and kissed Lapham’s Quarterly.
not mean. kind.
not mean. kind.
Even if my next sentence is about megalomaniacs, it was snowing in my home town.
Even if my next sentence is about megalomaniacs, it was snowing in my home town.
damn, thought mean week was over wtf
damn, thought mean week was over wtf
I must warn you: this is a not happy story.
-Richard Ford
I must warn you: this is a not happy story.
-Richard Ford
I don’t think this statement makes much sense. And even if it did, it’s not really true.
1) I can’t think of any examples, unless the first sentence is so long that it could be published as a story in a wide variety of online publications
2) The back cover of most books gives away the premise of many stories. As do reviews.
After all, I know the premise of Dan Brown’s new book just because I’ve read his others. I’m still going to read the shit out of that trash but it feels good.
I don’t think this statement makes much sense. And even if it did, it’s not really true.
1) I can’t think of any examples, unless the first sentence is so long that it could be published as a story in a wide variety of online publications
2) The back cover of most books gives away the premise of many stories. As do reviews.
After all, I know the premise of Dan Brown’s new book just because I’ve read his others. I’m still going to read the shit out of that trash but it feels good.
So i was sleeping with your mom last night.
So i was sleeping with your mom last night.
by this i am more aimed at the type of story that would direct themselves narrative-wise and in the grips rather than speaking with much of any care for language. in that, if a story opens in a way such as ‘The summer I met Jack Johnson and he taught me how to tango I knew my life would never be the same.’, it’s not that i know everything that happens, but more that i know you aren’t going to surprise me at any point outside that way of telling a story that’s been written 130000 times, with rare exceptions, and thus i don’t need to read. that is a more obviously shitty sentence, but you might be surprised how many stories especially in a submission inbox give themselves away as blank in the first line.
by this i am more aimed at the type of story that would direct themselves narrative-wise and in the grips rather than speaking with much of any care for language. in that, if a story opens in a way such as ‘The summer I met Jack Johnson and he taught me how to tango I knew my life would never be the same.’, it’s not that i know everything that happens, but more that i know you aren’t going to surprise me at any point outside that way of telling a story that’s been written 130000 times, with rare exceptions, and thus i don’t need to read. that is a more obviously shitty sentence, but you might be surprised how many stories especially in a submission inbox give themselves away as blank in the first line.
Sure, though I’d counter with
1) “I knew my life would never be the same” is shit, as you pointed out
but more importantly
2) There’s no way to know there are no surprises until you’ve read the entire story and know there are no surprises.
For example, in “The Palace Thief,” Ethan Canin literally says, “This is a story with no surprises.” And for a while this reads as pretty much true. But it’s not. He lied. And unless you gave him the benefit of the doubt, then you’d probably call him a douche and move on.
I take your point, but I think you’re really experiencing is the combination of a crap first sentence + hindsight.
Sure, though I’d counter with
1) “I knew my life would never be the same” is shit, as you pointed out
but more importantly
2) There’s no way to know there are no surprises until you’ve read the entire story and know there are no surprises.
For example, in “The Palace Thief,” Ethan Canin literally says, “This is a story with no surprises.” And for a while this reads as pretty much true. But it’s not. He lied. And unless you gave him the benefit of the doubt, then you’d probably call him a douche and move on.
I take your point, but I think you’re really experiencing is the combination of a crap first sentence + hindsight.