my butt is actually slightly bigger than most peoples’. in grade school i was called “bubble butt.” now, women and gay men comment favorably all the time. it’s not big in the “camera shot from waist down on a news segment about obesity” type of big, more like, “black man” type of big, a nice curvature if you will. why, i remember feeling ashamed of myself often. now, i have come to love it, and even feel pride, such that i have been on the tyra banks show and have overcome my sensitivity. rest assured gentle htmlgiant readers, it was not an easy transformation, and many times at night alone, i still doubt myself, but it is this doubt that keeps me in love with my bubble butt. a career in gay porn is not out of the question if my current career of looking for a job fails. i encourage you all to look at my ass if you see me at a reading, or perhaps out late at night jogging, carrying behind me a pair of umbros filled to the brim with ass.
If you packed one copy of every book that Joyce Carol Oates has ever published into a pair of sweatpants, she’d win. Big Booty Judy. Otherwise I have no clue, though I am a butt man.
ce.— I was just able to sneak read this at work. Great story, dude. I want to drink a glass of scotch now. Pretty sure I’d get caught with that at work though.
htad— isn’t modernist text supposed to be written so that context does not matter, and if so, how am i to get a full picture of a book like Mrs. Dalloway without knowing a little bit of history and English culture post-war? or whatever.
htad— hey it says on wave’s calendar that lasky is gonna do a live reading here…is this true?
Vin Diesel— Alec: Blake wants to burgle a turd or two from you and then sell it on e-bay. Justin: I think that’s a great idea. Alec: I told Blake I would buy one of your turds. Ken: That’s how good you are. Alec: I would treat your turd like it was a piece of art. Ken: Take the...
Nick Antosca— Agents send short fiction to big magazines not for money but to build credibility/exposure for writers with something else coming out. So they’ll send to the New Yorker, Esquire, Harper’s, Paris Review, maybe McSweeney’s or Zoetrope, maybe Atlantic, maybe one...
Stu— At first I didn’t think I’d make it through the story, but then there’s be a nice piece of dialogue or an interesting observation. Kept me going. Good story.
Alec Niedenthal— I know. I love how there are just shots of the drummer’s hi-hat or whatever. Amazing.
Justin Taylor— hey, thanks for the love, everyone. And Alec, holy shit, that video!
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Sam Pink
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if alexis texas were a writer…
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November 11th, 2009 / 5:16 ambryan—
she writes stories in my heart with the things she does. um, uh.
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joe mama
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oprah
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my butt is actually slightly bigger than most peoples’. in grade school i was called “bubble butt.” now, women and gay men comment favorably all the time. it’s not big in the “camera shot from waist down on a news segment about obesity” type of big, more like, “black man” type of big, a nice curvature if you will. why, i remember feeling ashamed of myself often. now, i have come to love it, and even feel pride, such that i have been on the tyra banks show and have overcome my sensitivity. rest assured gentle htmlgiant readers, it was not an easy transformation, and many times at night alone, i still doubt myself, but it is this doubt that keeps me in love with my bubble butt. a career in gay porn is not out of the question if my current career of looking for a job fails. i encourage you all to look at my ass if you see me at a reading, or perhaps out late at night jogging, carrying behind me a pair of umbros filled to the brim with ass.
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November 10th, 2009 / 8:19 pmNathan (Nate) Tyree—
I didn’t mean it prejoratively. Pink’s butt is a thing to behold
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November 11th, 2009 / 6:40 pmAaron—
I think we need a photo
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Mary Butts. British modernist. 1890-1937. Or whatever. Because basically she had two of them.
And if not Butts.
Then me. Mine is gigantic.
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November 10th, 2009 / 8:21 pmTim Horvath—
Awesome writer. Whatever it takes to get a Mary Butts reference into the mix. [Insert your own joke about means, ends, mean ends, etc.]
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Ann Rule.
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Anne Frank
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Blake’s Buttler
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[...] HTML Giant – Which Author Has The Biggest Butt? [...]
The biggest butt I’ve seen didn’t belong to an author.
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November 11th, 2009 / 1:11 amBlake Butler—
that’s not the question
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November 11th, 2009 / 2:13 amMatt Cozart—
Indeed. That was an attempted joke on my part.
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November 11th, 2009 / 2:15 amBlake Butler—
i am a literal boy
November 11th, 2009 / 10:44 amalan—
Yeah, should have been “Who of all the authors you’ve ever seen had the biggest butt?”
Or “Of all the authors’ butts you’ve ever seen, which was the biggest?”
the author’s butt is dead.
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Dorothy Allison has a pretty rightious back yard on her.
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November 12th, 2009 / 8:03 pmJac Jemc—
Dorothy Allison hit on me a couple weeks ago. I was really honored until I found out hits on every feminist bookstore employee.
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November 12th, 2009 / 8:03 pmJac Jemc—
Her butt was of moderately large size, yes.
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are we talkin sir mix a lot, baby got back, big ass…. like “jackie got a big ole butt, oh yeah”
or
we taking bout rosanne barr big asses
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November 11th, 2009 / 1:59 pmBlake Butler—
sheer mass
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If you packed one copy of every book that Joyce Carol Oates has ever published into a pair of sweatpants, she’d win. Big Booty Judy. Otherwise I have no clue, though I am a butt man.
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I think an “actress” from the critically acclaimed “booty talk” has a novel out. Surely she wins this.
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does hemingway shirtless qualify?
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