October 3rd, 2014 / 1:12 pm

Screen Shot 2014-10-03 at 1.08.21 PM

10 mil, bro? The ceiling of a ‘serious author”s potential net worth is 10 mil, it seems. Do kids investing their monies into grad school to learn to type good know about that? I imagine guy owns a lot of Abercrombie and Fitch stock. Does Abercrombie sell stock? Maybe Baby Gap. I don’t know. What do you guys think Franzen’s biggest asset may be? Where would you, a serious author, investĀ all that money to grow it into enough money to end up even higher in the ranks on celebrity worth dot com?

I just now realized the volume indicator on my computer appears embedded into the screenshot. Was I turning up or turning down?

It’s Friday, fuck books, listen to Discordance Axis.


  1. Erik Stinson

      the weirder thing to think about would be: what the fuck would a writer do with more than 10 million dollars? buy a really big desk? hire people to make plot diagrams?

      that being said i feel confident that his largest single asset class is premium kitchen appliances – like one of those refrigerators with a seat inside

  2. Blake Butler

      8 mil on the desk for a desk equivalent of shaq’s huge bed seems nice.

      lol waiting on the results of hiring out plot diagrams while seated inside the massive fridge

  3. E.A. Beeson

      Visit some exotic locales, avoiding the “touristy” stuff. Write about the crippling beauty of said locales. Be moved by the natives’ gratitude and red-bloodedness. Feel a vague discomfort with exactly how you were affecting said locales. Go home and quietly develop an expensive drug habit.

  4. Patrick

      I’m sorry, I was distracted by Discordance Axis. Enjoy your fishing.

  5. Alfred Brown IV

      a) turn down for what?
      b) $10 million barely covers an extra fwap of Chipotle guac these days
      c) Improbably mathematics: J. Franzen ($10 mil) > D. Franz ($8 mil)
      d) Also: PAC 12 > SEC.
      e) And: Graf Orlock/Pig Destroyer/Cattle Decap > Discordance Axis

  6. Blake Butler

      disagree re cattle decap. agree re pig destroyer.

  7. bartleby_taco

      this is the type of htmlg post that i have missed :’)

  8. Sara June Woods

      I keep trying to hit “play” on your screenshot

  9. deadgod

      $10 million is 1/170th of how much Columbia/HCA was fined for medicare fraud perpetrated when Ricky Scott was its CEO. I bet more kids learning to type well in grad school know J. K. Rowling’s net worth than know Franzen’s. Abercrombie & Fitch (ANF) is a publicly traded corporation; one share of its stock cost $35.86 at the close of trading on the NYSE today. Might be: imperviousness to envy. More likely: pretty sentences, or a driveway of moon-rock gravel. I would put $1 million into a roadhouse I’d name Throwaway, and $9 million into inventing lasagna that makes you feel like cocaine makes you feel.

      The chance to learn who Dan Bilzerian is had you turnt all the way up, is my guess.