57 Comments

1. November 9th, 2012 / 1:41 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

   Ever since i lost my mind this summer I’ve been afraid to say things on here, as a format.

2. November 9th, 2012 / 1:42 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

   I hope you don’t mind me doing this on one of your threads, Reynard — I like your shit and your sense of humor

3. November 9th, 2012 / 1:42 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

   But I haven’t felt settled anywhere in a really long time

4. November 9th, 2012 / 1:43 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

   Like there are little parts of me all over places everywhere hovering over surfaces all at the same time but never once even once touching the surfaces, adhering to gravity, to belonging, blah blah

5. November 9th, 2012 / 1:44 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

   And this absence of ground and a single place and a single person/whole/whatever makes me feel like I don’t belong anywhere

6. November 9th, 2012 / 1:46 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

   And this not belonging anywhere makes things directionless

7. November 9th, 2012 / 1:46 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

   Like on a daily basis I have no certain itinerary, aside from pray I’m not too exhausted to do anything

8. November 9th, 2012 / 1:47 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

   I lost my mind this summer not really but sort of from the heat combined with heavy heavy drinking creating rage and impatience with people both online and off

9. November 9th, 2012 / 1:48 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

   I am rarely awake or very awake or alert

10. November 9th, 2012 / 1:48 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    Well, maybe that’s not the entire truth

11. November 9th, 2012 / 1:49 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    I am rarely awake or energized enough to work on ideas for writing, and I have a lot of ideas for writing

12. November 9th, 2012 / 1:50 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    And I feel so disjointed as a person that in the periodic moments I DO feel awake and energized enough to sit down and continue working on something, I don’t feel connected to the work I had drafted previously

13. November 9th, 2012 / 1:50 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    So the whole thing feels like a clusterfuck of all the different personalities and characters I’ve cultivated to make friends and understand as much as I possibly can

14. November 9th, 2012 / 1:51 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    As a writer I think it’s important to devour as many people as possible

15. November 9th, 2012 / 1:51 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    That is develop empathy with all walks of life, no matter how far off they are from your own

16. November 9th, 2012 / 1:52 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    But shockingly enough it seems this consumption of others needs to be done in moderation lest you lose a sense of identity

17. November 9th, 2012 / 1:52 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    But then what is identity aside from trying to wrap a person into an easier to swallow package

18. November 9th, 2012 / 1:53 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    Which is what marketing is, right. Which is bullshit

19. November 9th, 2012 / 1:54 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    So on the one hand it’s to stretch one’s self so thin to absorb others and understand as much as possible but become so invested in others that you lose a sense of self, singular self

20. November 9th, 2012 / 1:54 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    On the other hand it’s to condense yourself for the sake of having an identity but at the expense of closing yourself off to understanding others

21. November 9th, 2012 / 1:54 am Brooks Sterritt—

    Go for the gold

22. November 9th, 2012 / 1:55 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    The latter seems to be the way to get attention from people because people are lazy and want easily consumed product

23. November 9th, 2012 / 1:55 am Brooks Sterritt—

    And as a human

24. November 9th, 2012 / 1:56 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    But at the same time I think it’s the less noble path, the one of compromise, the one of accepting that the public should not need to acknowledge that all people contain multitudes

25. November 9th, 2012 / 1:59 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    There is an inverse correlation between how multifaceted you desire to be and how many people desire you as an artist

26. November 9th, 2012 / 2:00 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    You cannot be a cult of personality and lead a cult, you can not have your cake and eat it too, bullshit aphorism after bullshit aphorism after bullshit aphorism

27. November 9th, 2012 / 2:01 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    But anyway

28. November 9th, 2012 / 2:02 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    Since it seems every time I sit in front of the laptop to write I feel I have no connection with the same me who previously did writing under my name/persona/whatever, it seems like the only way to write with any sort of cohesion on a periodic basis is through drugs

29. November 9th, 2012 / 2:04 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    As in, certain drugs result in certain definitive feelings and thought processes within me that are identifiable each and every time I do them

30. November 9th, 2012 / 2:05 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    So that when I take adderall to start a novel and then take it again three days later to resume work on the novel, I know that the two me who have each separately sat down to work on the same project are feeling the same things

31. November 9th, 2012 / 2:05 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    And there is no need to worry about a change in perception/perspective

32. November 9th, 2012 / 2:07 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    I guess this ok, but it makes me question my ability and integrity as a writer

33. November 9th, 2012 / 2:07 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    Like if I need the drugs to write… does that somehow demote me

34. November 9th, 2012 / 2:07 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    Demote my credibility, am I using demote correctly

35. November 9th, 2012 / 2:08 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    I blame it on the fact that I have a job that takes up a lot of my time

36. November 9th, 2012 / 2:08 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    I blame it on the Internet

37. November 9th, 2012 / 2:10 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    I blame it on the all other people writing really useless shit online, just basically shitting in a hole to take up space, and worrying I might be doing the same exact thing, worrying I am contributing to the same terrible act of filling the world up with boring uninspired words that some poor reader is gonna waste part of his or her life consuming

38. November 9th, 2012 / 2:11 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    I think that maybe if I had a job that made me really happy I’d be more creative

39. November 9th, 2012 / 2:12 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    But if I had a job that made me really happy it’d probably involve me writing creatively for it, which is not the same as writing fiction, and would doing that work get in the way of my personal creative pursuits

40. November 9th, 2012 / 2:13 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    It’s just the world today is so wide open for art now, and people are more wide open than they ever have been before, and this multitude of options for pursuit muck up your own personal creative goals

41. November 9th, 2012 / 2:14 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    Makes you question their worth, not to mention makes it more and more difficult to do a good job on

42. November 9th, 2012 / 2:14 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    I don’t know. It’s freaking me out

43. November 9th, 2012 / 2:15 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    This is all so fucking stupid

44. November 9th, 2012 / 2:30 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    I should say this is not in direction to this site, but more to “pop culture” sites

45. November 9th, 2012 / 2:31 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    The ones that all cover the same stories and make the same jokes 3,000 times over

46. November 9th, 2012 / 2:32 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    “Women in binders? Better get to Office Max, I’m short on women, pa dum cha!”

47. November 9th, 2012 / 2:32 am Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    This drowning of reality in semantics and useless rhetoric

48. November 9th, 2012 / 2:24 pm Steven Pine—

    It’s easy to protect yourself Frank when you hide in a difficult form.

49. November 9th, 2012 / 2:37 pm Frank Tas, the Raptor—

    I didn’t know I was under attack!

50. November 9th, 2012 / 8:18 pm reynard—

    thanks i’m glad you like the smell, it’s fine really i doubt anyone would have said anything anyway, in fact i do not feel that there is anything to say, that’s not why i do a blog post; hope you feel like less of a ghost

51. November 9th, 2012 / 9:09 pm Mike James—

    WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

52. November 12th, 2012 / 8:34 pm deadgod—

    I play them on a blue guitar
    And then things are not as they are.

    The shapings of the instrument
    Distort the shape of what I meant,

    Which takes a shape by accident.
    Yet what I mean I always say.

    The accident is how I play.
    I still intend things as they are.

    The greenish quaverings of day
    Quiver on the blue guitar.

    Stevens

53. November 12th, 2012 / 8:39 pm deadgod—

    Not-Mondaugen’s Law: Personal density is directly proportional to empathetic bandwidth.

54. November 12th, 2012 / 8:49 pm deadgod—

    χρυσον [γαρ] οι διζημενοι γην πολλην ορυσσουσι και ευρισκουσιν ολιγον.

    (Seekers dig much earth and find little gold.)

    –Heraclitus, DK 22

55. November 12th, 2012 / 8:56 pm deadgod—

    “Who are you? said the Caterpillar.

    This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “I–I hardly know, Sir, just at present–at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have changed several times since then.”

56. November 12th, 2012 / 9:06 pm deadgod—

    It’s a successful exposure of feeling.

57. November 14th, 2012 / 2:57 pm bemightee—

    nice quote.