Posts Tagged ‘fanmail’

MEGALOMANIA VOL I: “a beginner’s guide to elias tezapsidis”

Thursday, June 19th, 2014

 
 

5 ways to get elias to like you

buy him an expensive dinner, an expensive outfit, or something expensive that he would like

tell elias about yourself but don’t talk too much about yourself or elias will tune you out

never under any circumstance tell elias that he’s your second favorite person

if you call elias in the middle of the night, please have something important to say to him (i.e. elias i just bought you a super expensive outfit) or he will terminate your relationship

do not bore elias under any circumstance

 
 

jonathan franzen despises elias

jonathan franzen does not like elias for some reason. it’s probably because elias writes a lot on the internet and jonathan franzen doesn’t know how to use the internet properly

 
 

elias grew up in greece

elias was a happy child in greece. he was super popular and everyone loved him. if this is a surprise to you, then you have a lot more to learn about elias

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