feng shui office

Guide to becoming a better writer

Here are some tips on becoming a better writer, which begins with your posture. Feng Shui means ‘wind water’ in Chinese, which is better than ‘passing gas diarrhea.’ My point is, us Chinese are profound peoples. Fortunately, htmlgiant has an in-house Chinese representative, yours truly. My goal is to help you survive the literary world. Please pay attention:


1. Chip on Shoulder

You will need a chip on your shoulder. When somebody asks you ‘what you do’ at a party, you will need to think ‘fucking moron,’ and reply, [sigh] “I’m a writer highly published online. I’ve been nominated for a the Million Writers Awards and was interviewed twice. My chapbook sold out in two weeks.” As you sulk by the spinach dip, you will reaffirm the stereotype of self-involved writers.

2. Monitor Angle

Your monitor should tilt towards the heavens as you blind angels with your genius.


Technology / 32 Comments
March 13th, 2009 / 7:45 pm