Sarcasm, Inc. has patented a “SarcMark,” a punctuation mark which looks like a recoiled question mark, to signify sarcasm. Of their 3rd “Core Belief,” they proclaim “For centuries, questions and exclamations have had their own punctuation marks. It’s time that sarcasm is treated equally!” Wow, that’s pretty cool how they used that antiquated exclamation mark. Yah, these guys are not only cutting-edge grammarians, but great entrepreneurs.

Isn’t it funny how this sentence raises a question without a question mark. Or how “the decapitated man still flinched” is arguably more effective than “the decapitated man still flinched!” Intent, when implicit, is a sharper, smoother cut. The author’s story lies not on the page, but in the reader’s mind.

Christ, I just wish I could download the SarcMark, because without it, without that fucking awesome SarcMark I cannot be sarcastic! I can only be excited — with or without any marks signifying those feelings — so, so excited.