11. Being a big fish in a small pond. It’s not the same anymore. Because you are going to meet the internets. And the internets is an ocean. So now you’re not a big fish.

2. Black Swan. Because you didn’t learn anything about the ballet world you didn’t know. Every non-ballet world reader here, if asked to write the screenplay, would have thought: Well…bulimia, fucked up toes and shoes, domineering director dude with European flair, bitchy colleagues, when you’re age thirty you’re done, skinny. Well, no shit. Oh, and I wish the director had never seen Sixth Sense. Oh, and ha-ha, the director laughs, the unreliable narrator is really mentally ill and I don’t really have a focus here and we need to prove Natalie really isn’t Queen Amidala so could you arch your back higher in those panties, etc.? I’m just happy he didn’t end it with “And then she awakes” which you know he did and loved in some outtake we’ll see later on DVD. Oh, and Winona Ryder is grossly miscast or possibly just medicated for Kleptomania/busy picking such a meaty, meaty role out of her eyeteeth. Oh and…and oh, fuck it.

1. That Sebald WG died at age 57. But these guys retraced his funk-gloom walk of The Rings of Saturn. This doesn’t suck, as you will see, but it sucks for me that we are doing retrospective ideas on a writer recently loved (by me, fer sure) alive and writing new words.

4. Wendy’s new fries. I’m getting a New Coke feel. It’s a conspiracy of suck to make us like their old fries. The new fries hold the brown of bundled mortgages and taste like a committee or cat litter or a committee of cat litters. Something to make you doubt your ways.