September 6th, 2013 / 11:42 am

Dream I Had

Hillary Clinton was riding a horse around Congress in a misguided display of bravado.  The horse got spooked and started kicking desks over then bucked Hillary Clinton, who landed hard but was fine.  She started crying.  The horse terrorized Congress a little more before finding me (I was working as a page) and biting my forearm.  I panicked initially then realized it didn’t hurt, the horse wasn’t letting go, and the horse was suddenly docile for some reason.  It felt like it was trying to brush its teeth with my arm.  I led the horse out of the Capitol Building and onto the mall where it let go and jumped into the Potomac silhouetted by a setting sun.  I thought about tweeting at the New Yorker “I’m the page the horse bit” but decided against it in favor of showing up in person and offering to write one of those “Talk of the Town” columns about my experience.  So I went to the New Yorker office but had trouble finding the appropriate person to talk to.  I got into a fight with one guy that amounted to little more than flicking each other’s ears when the other’s back was turned.  Eventually I found the right person.  She was very nice and excited to speak to me and told me to get her something by the end of the week.  I flaked on the article for several months, quit my job as a page, and taught the cat and dog I owned in the dream to sleep on top of me, and each other, in a sort of pyramid shape.


  1. David Fishkind

      just read this, having emailed you about my dream only hours earlier… interesting, though. this is very funny. i also think it’s kind of speaks to what i was saying earlier about maybe trying to set up that event… anyway, we can pick this back up in the email chain if you want to. if you don’t respond within a week about my proposal, i think i’ll go forward with it anyway. i am lost, like a leaf on the ocean, i feel free

  2. Andrew Colville

      apt tag. i think i’ve dreamed something similar to how you describe the horse munching your arm. i’d characterize the gnawing i’ve experienced by animals in dreams as diplomatic. not sure if you’re home right now. i don’t know where you went earlier; i was half-expecting you to linger around the apartment earlier but as i briefly adjourned to my room i heard the grating slam of the door. later someone delivered pizza when i was the only one home and he had to call the person whose order it was from my phone because he, i guess, forgot his own phone. he asked if i could check to make sure no one else in the apartment had ordered the pie and then, once i knocked on everyone’s door to no response, requested that i check my phone to see if a roommate’s number matched the order’s. this, of course, all before asking to use my phone to call the number of the person who ordered and discovering–in a pretty egregious oversight by whoever took the information via phone (unless there was some other factor furnishing the error, like, say, a database incongruence resulting from a previous order to apt. 4c), i thought–that the person’s location was actually apt. 1a!

  3. megan boyle


      hell yeah

      ‘the page the horse bit: a memoir,’ by andrew weatherhead

  4. Weeatherhead

      i thought your email was in response to this…

      i’m going to need to seriously reevaluate…

  5. Weeatherhead

      whoa, sounds intense

      i’m glad i left when i did!

  6. Weeatherhead


      ‘the page the horse bit: a dream journal’ (knopf, 2015)

  7. Willis Plummer